


Six Months

by JustLyra



Category: MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF
Genre: F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Missing Persons, Paranoia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:55:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 44,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLyra/pseuds/JustLyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dani has a plan for the next six months, but so does someone else</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kneeling on the dirt, picking carrots from his garden, Dani froze, an instinctive reaction each time he heard his gate open, the delicate scrape of metal against metal, deliberately never fixed, alerting him to the arrival of someone into his space. Waiting for a voice he hoped it would be one of the two people to ever visit him there, and let out an audible sigh of relief when the booming voice of Arthur, the local postman, bellowed ‘good morning’ toward him.

Scooping the carrots into a tatty wooden basket he’d inherited from the previous owners Dani wiped his hands on his trousers and made his way back toward the house, the vegetable garden in the far corner of the vast space surrounding his home. Greeting Arthur with a smile Dani accepted his post with a smile, “Good morning. Would you like some tea?”

Just as he did every time, both of them playing their part in their little charade, Arthur sighed wearily, “I’d love some, but I just don’t have time. People want their parcels early… Maybe one day.”

“I understand,” Dani smiled, trying to hide his unease at their being three letters in his mail, two more than the usual one, “Have a nice day.”

“Thank you,” Arthur nodded, tipping his cap, still dressed in the pristine formal uniform that the post office had long since discontinued, “Maybe I’ll have time for that tea next week…”

“Yes,” Dani smiled, knowing full well that every time they’d have the same conversation and Arthur, despite being the postman in a tiny Cornish village with less than fifty full time residents, would be too busy, both of them knowing that Dani would continue to ask just as he had for the past two years, “Maybe next week.”

Staying put until he heard the gate creak open, then clatter shut, Dani headed inside, dumping the basket of carrots in the pantry to be dealt with later in the day. Washing his hands, stalling for time mostly, he settled himself on one of the mismatched stools at the breakfast bar, taking a deep breath, as if it would settle the kaleidoscope of butterflies in his belly, before picking up the letters.

Turning over the first one he sighed in relief at the gaudy logo, the letter obviously sent by a company he’d previously purchased something from, no doubt touting for more business. Tossing it straight into the recycling without opening his breath caught at the handwritten scrawl on the second envelope. _Xavier Ramos._ The name had been his for three years, but it still looked foreign and unfamiliar whenever he seen it in black and white. Opening it nervously he pulled out the paper inside, pristine white paper folded perfectly in three, thankfully sporting a header announcing it belonging to the Parish Council. Every month for almost three years, since the people of Lamorna had realised that the empty cottage down the long private lane was no longer empty he’d received a letter, each one inviting him to the monthly meeting of the Parish Council, usually containing a complaint by the incumbent chairperson about the low attendance of only eight or ten people, a number Dani actually thought was quite impressive for a tiny village.

Dani wouldn’t attend, and much like his daily conversation with Arthur, the committee knew he wouldn’t, but once again he’d show a little bit of community spirit by sending a cheque. Nothing grand, only fifty pounds or so, with an apology explaining himself as being too busy for work, but thanking the committee for their hard work with ‘ _Village in Bloom’_ or whatever project they were working on next. Believing the quiet, shy, young man down the lane to be a writer the committee would nod and smile on receipt of the cheque, murmuring about how the incomer at least appreciated their work, unlike some locals who would never attend and would certainly never send a cheque.

With a wide smile he relaxed when he instantly recognisable scrawl on the final letter. Tearing open the envelope he felt a surge of emotion as a photograph tumbled out, Raul’s children having grown so much since he last seen them. Running his thumb over the photograph he bit back a tear, the little girl standing tall next to her proud big brother, a protective hand on her shoulder, just a crawling baby when he last rolled around the floor playing childish games with them. He missed them terrible, Raul and his family had been his neighbours for so long. Even when Raul had stopped travelling with him they’d still seen each other more often than their blood families back in Spain.

Unfolding the letter, he sat for an hour, reading through the four pages of stories and updates Raul loyally sent him every month. Thanks to Raul he knew that his grandmother was doing better after her stroke, although she missed him terribly. He fought back a wave of guilt at the news that his own mother had had an operation, nothing major, but scary for his father and Eric. As he always did, aware of how much the guilt of the situation got to Dani on the lonely nights in his cottage, Raul finished the letters with some funny stories, mostly about his children, filling Dani in on how his son had sneaked chocolate to bed or his daughter had managed to get a hold of a tube of cream and redecorated the television. Best friends for over twenty years Dani trusted Raul more than anyone in the entire world, which is why he, and only he, was trusted with the details of Dani’s new life.

*

Pausing for a second, the gate squeaking again, Dani relaxed as he double checked the clock, the familiar knock on the door seeing him balance the spoon against the pot he was cooking with and padding to the door, “Hi.”

“Hey…” Wrapping her arms around his neck, Dani thinking nothing of closing his eyes as she kissed him, her lips on his warm and comforting, a few moments where they could both forget it was all for show, Morwenna stepped back and smiled, “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Letting her duck under his arm Dani pretended, as he did every Tuesday, not to notice her father loitering at the end of the path, him finding a reason every week to walk her down the long lane to Dani’s house, her parents the kind to worry about their daughter thanks to lurid newspaper headlines, despite the fact they lived in a place so small and remote that a car couldn’t even pass through once without someone spotting it and noting the make, model and registration, “You?”

“Good. Dinner won’t be long,” Clicking the door closed Dani followed her back into the kitchen, “There’s a nice bottle of red in there if you want to open it?”

“I will do,” Shrugging off her denim jacket, only pulled over her sundress, white with bright flowers, at her mother’s insistence, Morwenna padded into the pantry, comfortable in Dani’s home, “What are we having?”

“Chicken and vegetable ratatouille.”

“Lovely,” Sitting at the table, it already set before she arrived, Morwenna smiled as she poured two healthy measures of wine before speaking, her accent soft and lilting, “I hear you dodged the Parish Council meeting again…”

“Do you think they’ll ever give up?” Opening the oven to take out the chicken Dani smiled.

“No,” Morwenna laughed, working and living in the local pub with her parents she was well aware of the mystery surrounding the village’s newest resident, despite years of not showing up after repeated invitations he kept the Parish Council itching with nosiness, “They’ll hound you forever, although if you keep sending cheques and such polite letters you may get some semblance of peace!”

“Good,” Dani laughed, plating up their food and bringing it to the table, “What does the Parish Council even do?”

“Well that, Xavier,” Morwenna laughed, her the only person in the village with an inclination that Xavier wasn’t his name, but too polite to mention it, “…you can only find out by attending the meeting…”

“I’m _far_ too busy,” Dani winked, laughing, the sound of his laughter tempered by a tiny bit of nerves, not audible to someone who didn’t know him before. Morwenna was the only person in the village he remotely trusted, but even after one year of friendship (and one night of more than that) he was still nervous, “How are your travel plans coming along?”

“Nice change of subject…” Morwenna laughed, but allowed him to change it anyway, launching into her plans for travelling to Europe. Starting in France, Paris, she intended to travel by train to places she’d seen on TV and read about in books. After France she’d board the night train to Barcelona, then working her way along the coast she’d take in Perpignan, Marseille and Nice before taking another train to Italy, anything and anywhere to escape the claustrophobia of Lamorna, “Remind me to print off my hotel confirmation for Milan please, I forgot last week.”

“I will,” Dani smiled, genuinely pleased to be able to help the woman escape. For him the tiny village was freedom, but he knew to her it was like a beautifully scenic prison – homely and pretty, but a prison nonetheless. In many ways if he thought about it too much Dani found the situation ridiculous, Morwenna was a grown woman in her late twenties, the idea that she wouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to travel abroad alone was farcical, however he understood why she felt trapped. Her parents had never left Cornwall, far less the country, and Morwenna was loyal, too loyal, she reminded Dani of himself in many ways, so for the sake of escaping Morwenna’s parents were under the impression Dani would be travelling with her, it made some sort of illogical sense, “Did you decide about Venice?”

“Decided to play it by ear, like you suggested, not be too rigid on plans,” Morwenna smiled genuinely, Dani’s company an escape that she was grateful for. Petite, pretty and brunette, and single, she was the one everyone looked too when Dani arrived in the village. The ladies of the WI and the Parish Council, her own mother included, all murmured about the handsome stranger, pondering if maybe he could be the one that would sweep Morwenna off her feet, every other guy in the village in her age range someone she was related to (or knew well enough to feel like they were related). One night, almost two whole years after he’d arrived and all, but the most determined had given up hope, Dani had brought Morwenna back to his house, both of them drunk after a mournful night in the pub, each consoling themselves in alcohol about something. The pulling and tugging of clothes as they stumbled through the door was genuine, as was the frantic neediness of the kisses, and the sex was good, Dani would say more than good, Morwenna’s stamina easily matching his own and they both woke with some spectacular bruises, but it wasn’t real. Not really, “Have you ever been to Venice?”

“No,” Answering with an honest smile, still stirring the pan, Dani wished, for the millionth time, he’d been able to lie better to Morwenna, that he hadn’t had a conscience quite so strong. However, Morwenna had been able to spot lies from him almost instantly. The very next morning she smiled sadly and commented that maybe, if she’d been male, she’d have been perfect for him. Dani had wept, the loneliness of his new life overwhelming him and Morwenna had made tea, then she’d cried about her life. He hadn’t told her everything, in fact he hadn’t told her that much, just that he couldn’t have his own life, his job, and the man he loved without them both losing everything, so he’d left, lost everything himself, but could wake every day knowing he’d protected the man he loved, “I’ve been to Florence, you’ll like Florence…”

“I wish you could come,” Morwenna smiled sadly, the sadness on her face too common and emotion for Dani’s liking. She understood he couldn’t, he claimed work, although even she didn’t know what he did. She just knew he sent monthly parcels to Switzerland and he always had money so he must do _something_. She wanted to thank him, him cooking dinner every week, allowing people to think they were an item, gave her an escape. Her parents were wonderful, but she was their only surviving child, conceived five years after the death of her elder brother, killed in an accident on the farm that their parents had never forgiven themselves for. As a result they were, unsurprisingly, over-protective with Morwenna, almost to the point of suffocation so Dani offered her a welcome escape, “My mother was asking if you were coming to the gala day?”

“I’ll probably pop along for an hour,” Pouring the tomato sauce onto the plates Dani opened the oven to fetch out the chicken, “I need some more of Mrs Barnes’ jam… Are they still insisting I come for dinner before _we_ leave?”

“Yeah…” Morwenna frowned, aware Dani, or Xav as she thought of him, wasn’t keen on being in pressured situations. Their romance was the talk of the village, everyone thought it was amusing and cute that they’d kept up the pretence of being just friends, even her parents giggled when she stayed over on a Tuesday claiming they’d watched a movie and fell asleep, none of them aware that it was all a charade. She’d realised quickly that Dani liked men, he’d admitted to being bi later, but it was clear to her that the issue wasn’t actually gender, it was that Dani was absolutely in love with the man he’d left everything for. For her, she had a definite preference, and it wasn’t men, but her deeply religious parents would have been heartbroken, and she didn’t feel strong enough to upset them, they were the only family she had. So for a year they’d pretended, the pretence somehow protecting them both, her by keeping her parents from trying to match-make, and for Dani giving him a link to one of the families in the village, keeping him from the prying about the new guy, “I could tell them you are too busy…”

“No, it’s ok,” Dani smiled, knowing he was going to face a lot of flak from her parents when he _came back_ from the trip early from work. Taking the plates to the table he sat down, “I’ll do it once, just to get everything watertight, we’ve got six months to get through and then you can escape… How’s the chicken?”

*

Sat at the table, his team discussing details of his upcoming trip to Indonesia, the disinterested rider sighed, “Do you need me for this?”

“Yes,” Snapping, his rider’s disinterest in everything since Dani left seriously starting to affect his career, the sponsors starting to grumble and look at other options, “This is **your** career… You know that Gillette need you to reshoot because you weren’t looking at the right camera in **any** of the shots yesterday? We’ve got to try and fit that in after Motegi, Phillip Island and Malaysia, but before Valencia… Where do you suggest we do that? Eh?”

Sullen, his once sparkly eyes dull, lifeless and thoroughly bored, he shrugged, “You work it out, that’s your job. Mine is to ride.”

“It is. And if you were doing that well perhaps people would be a bit more accommodating about the other shit…” Feeling the others around the table tense, the rider’s face turning even more stony, the frustrated manager softened his tone, “Look, I know that…”

“ **You know nothing!** ” Standing, venom in his voice and the look on his face bordering hatred, the rider almost spat his words before stalking away, “Nothing at all.”

Dropping his head onto the table, watching his rider, just three years ago their conversations about winning becoming a distant memory, stomp away, a familiar sight, the older man despaired, “I don’t know what else we can do.”

“Nothing except find Dani…” Taking the lead, part of the team, but also a friend, one broached an idea, “Losing Dani has broken him. We find Dani, we fix him…”

“And how do you suggest we do that?” Snapping again, the tensions getting to them all, the manager sounded like he may cry, “Eighteen months he hired that private detective for, _eighteen months_ , and nothing. Twenty thousand Euros a month for nothing… He thinks Dani is dead…”

“I don’t, I want to look for him,” Shaking his head at the incredulous looks of everyone else, “What else do you suggest? We have a choice, we can either sit here and watch him drinking, sleeping with random women, and crashing out of **eight** races so far this season or we can try and fix it… We’ve tried everything else so finding Dani is the only option. I want six months…”

“He won’t sanction it. He thinks Dani is dead and he doesn’t want it confirmed…”

“Then we don’t tell him,” Shrugging at the look, he went on, “When was the last time he looked at finances? Yes, it’s probably unprofessional, it’s definitely immoral and it’s possibly illegal, but what choices do we actually have here? He’s going to destroy himself… Dani flew to London and he either got on one of the four flights he booked or he stayed there. Now that PI was good, but he did everything above board and legal… I paid someone three hundred Euros last week and I know for a fact he didn’t get on the flight to Argentina… Don’t look at me like that, he’s killing himself, I have to do **something**.”

“Six months?”

“Yeah. Six months. A pay rise so I’ve access to some money without it attracting attention. I’ll find him, or at least find where he went so that the PI can then track him.”

“Ok,” Shrugging his shoulders again the manager agreed, “I don’t think it’ll help, but…”

“It’s something,” Nodding, understanding the hopeless feeling, it shared by them all, he smiled, “I’ll find him, no-one as famous as Dani can actually just vanish into thin air.”


	2. Six Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than planned. Sorry.

Pausing for a second to take in the view Dani smiled, this the one place in the world where the changes to his life felt liberating. Following the little path in his garden beyond the vegetable garden Dani’s fence contained a gate, which in turn led to 73 steps that twisted and turned their way down the Cliffside to the tiny beach of Lamorna. With barely enough room for half a dozen sun loungers and zero parking the only people who used it were local dog walkers and paddle boarders who lived close enough to make the lack of swimmers and surfers a worthwhile effort. Looking out to the horizon, only sea for as far as the eye could see, Dani felt safe, and free from the constraints of his previous life.

Padding down the steps, his board stored next to the fence at the bottom, Dani remembered seeing the potential of this easy access to the water when he first viewed the house. The previous occupants waved off the steps as being virtually worthless, but to Dani they instantly showed a way to get from his house to the water, where anyone could be anonymous, without bumping into a soul. It took him a month of long-hours to replace the worn steps, half of them so wobbly you took your life in your hands stepping on them, and a lot of YouTube videos to learn how to do it, but the first time Dani wandered down to the bottom from his house wearing his wetsuit was probably the moment he felt the biggest achievement in his life. He needed a way to escape, and he’d built it with his own hands.

Grabbing his board, the length of it tricky, but the weight no problem due to the fact he still worked out daily, Dani felt a little bubble of relief when there was, again, no-one on the beach, it almost feeling like his private space. Dragging the board into the water, timing the mount, Dani made his way out to his favourite spot, just far enough out that people from shore couldn’t recognise him, and where he could get a beautiful view of the cliffs and his house, but not far enough out that the tricky currents could interfere with his chill out session.

*

“I’m afraid we can’t give you that information…”

Putting on his best worried face he sighed, “I didn’t think you would… I guess it was worth a try.”

“I’m very sorry.”

“That’s ok,” Biting his lip, hoping the hours perfect his fake _I’m trying not to cry_ look would work, “It’s just because I promised his mother… She’s just had an operation… Sorry, you don’t need to hear this.”

“I really am very sorry; I’m just not allowed to give you the information.”

“Do you know if there’s a way I can get the information? Legally of course, I wouldn’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

“There isn’t.”

“Ok, thanks,” Shrugging his shoulders, pretending to pretend to joke, “Don’t suppose you know any of your colleagues that I could bribe do you?”

“No,” Smiling, falling for the fake looks, the airline worker felt bad, “I really am very sorry.”

“No worries.”

*

“I cannot give you that information, sorry…”

Putting on his best worried face he sighed, “I didn’t think you would… I guess it was worth a try.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s ok,” Biting his lip, hoping the hours perfect his fake _I’m trying not to cry_ look would work, “It’s just because I promised his mother… She’s just had an operation… Sorry, you don’t need to hear this.”

“I wish I could help.”

“Do you know if there’s a way I can get the information? Legally of course, I wouldn’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Ok, thanks,” Shrugging his shoulders, pretending to pretend to joke, “Don’t suppose you know any of your colleagues that I could bribe do you?”

“Sadly not.”

“No worries,” Mentally deleting the second airline from his list he left with a genuine sigh.

*

“Sorry, that’s not information I’m allowed to give out.!

Putting on his best worried face he sighed, “I didn’t think you would… I guess it was worth a try.”

“Sorry, passenger confidentiality is a big thing for out airline.”

“That’s ok,” Biting his lip, hoping the hours perfect his fake _I’m trying not to cry_ look would work on this one, “It’s just because I promised his mother… She’s just had an operation… Sorry, you don’t need to hear this.”

“I’m very sorry, I’m just not allowed to give you the information.”

“Do you know if there’s a way I can get the information? Legally of course, I wouldn’t want to get anyone in trouble.”

“No, unfortunately not.”

“Ok, thanks,” Shrugging his shoulders, pretending to pretend to joke, “Don’t suppose you know any of your colleagues that I could bribe do you?”

“Well…” Faltering for a second, the airline worker shook her head, “No. Sorry.”

“Please,” Almost begging, sensing a tiny chink of weakness, he leant on the table, “His mother is desperate. They paid a fortune to a private investigator who basically ripped them off and found nothing… She’s been so poorly… She just wants to know if her baby boy is dead or alive. _Please_.”

“I…” Glancing at the screen in front of her the nerves took over, making her shake her head, “I’d lose my job.”

“What if you didn’t?” Taking some money from his pocket, it rolled in a bundle, “What if you just left me here while you went to the shop to get me some tissues and a drink?”

“I don’t know…”

“ _Please…_ ” Sniffing, wondering if he could pull off actual tears if he had too, his heart raced when she took the money from his hand, the nerves on her face very clear, “Thank you. You are doing the right thing.”

“I’m a mother…” Still wavering, but standing she bit her lip, “If it was my little boy…”

“You’d want someone to help you find him. Six minutes is all I need…”

“Six minutes?” Nodding her head and making for the door she smiled softly, “Be quick.”

Dashing around her desk, praying the computer system was still the one he’d been told about online. Opening up the screen he found the page he knew he wanted and typed in the first flight number he’d memorised. After two frustrating efforts he found the passenger manifest, scrolling down until he found the line he was looking for.

**PEDROSARAM/DANIEL       2A            FIRST      GOLD     28659924 LHR-LAX NS**

Quickly clicking back into the first section he typed in the next flight number, tapping impatiently on the desk as he waited for the page to load.

**PEDROSARAM/DANIEL       1K            FIRST      GOLD     28659924 LHR-VRO               NS**

Clicking back into the first box again, confident in what he was going to see, he tapped faster, more impatiently as he waited on the last page to load.

**PEDROSARAM/DANIEL       4F            FIRST      GOLD     28659924 LHR-DPA ~~C~~ ol**

“What the?” Taking a photo of the screen with his phone, footsteps coming toward the door, he clicked the page closed, just getting back to the other side of the desk as the door opened.

*

“What do you mean he didn’t take any of them?”

“Exactly what I said,” Showing the older man his phone, the snapped photos of each reservation, “He didn’t take _any_ of the four flights he booked…”

“So where did he go?”

“I don’t think he went anywhere… He used to live in London, he knows it well.”

“You’re telling me Dani has been in **London** for three years and not a single person has recognised him?”

“Not necessarily. I’m saying that Dani went to London and he didn’t fly back out of there again.”

“I’m not sure that’s particularly helpful.”

“Well in six minutes I know that the flights were a dead end, and quite probably a deliberate decoy since he checked in for the Bali one then offloaded… That’s more than the PI found.”

“Hmmm.”

“I’ll find him. No-one can hide forever, nowhere is **that** secluded.”

*

Pausing again, wet wetsuit pulled down to his waist, Dani decided to sit on the steps and watch the sunset, the pinks and oranges lighting up the sky creating a beautiful vision. After spending two hours on the water, not a single soul interrupting him, Dani sighed a contented sigh. Life hadn’t worked out how he’d thought, far less how he’d hoped, but as far as sacrifices went, the place he now called home wasn’t so bad.


	3. Summer

“Morning Xavier!”

Nodding politely, Dani smiled, “Good morning Mrs Trenowden, do you need anything from Penzance?”

“No, thank you,” Smiling as she paused pruning her roses the elderly lady laughed, “You should get Tesco to deliver lad, much easier than hiking up this hill to the bus stop.”

Laughing, knowing she was right, but not prepared to use his bank card to have anything delivered to his house, Dani nodded, “I should, but then I’d deprive myself of my fish and chips at the Quay. Have a nice day.”

“You too!”

Walking on up the hill, the walk to the bus stop taking a good twenty-five minutes, Dani felt the familiar flutter of nerves in his belly, the one day a month that he used his bank card to withdraw cash always the day he felt most vulnerable, summer doubly so. Reaching the crossroads Dani nodded politely at the three other people waiting for the taxi bus, the actual bus service scrapped because of the endless difficulties the bus had turning down the twisty lanes, all of them tourists, Dani’s least favourite time of year about to begin.

*

Crossing the road from the bus stance to the train station Dani tapped on the self-service machine, grateful for the rain that had allowed him to pull his cap low and put his hood up. Shopping was a challenge when you were in hiding, especially in the digital age. When he planned his departure Dani set himself up a new bank account, one not attached to any of his main accounts or listed on any of his documentation. He siphoned smallish amounts into the account to give it a healthy float, then organised for a few small investments to pay into it on a monthly basis. With Raul aware of things, it meant he could safely withdraw cash each month to live on, and annually he could pay for his gas and electric. The umbrella company that hid the purchase of the house from his other investments taking care of the council tax, that the one thing that he believed would always get him caught one day.

For nine months of the year Dani did the same thing. He got the taxi-bus to Penzance, then he got the train to Plymouth, withdrew money from the cash machine before getting back on the train to Penzance. He’d buy a monthly shop and then, laden with bags, he’d spend £25 on a taxi back to Lamorna. However, June, July and August were different. In the winter Cornwall was a beautiful, but quiet county. The beautiful beaches became windswept, desolate, places so nobody came, but in June, July and August the people came. Lots of them. So many in fact that parking became impossible and beaches got crowded. So whilst most people, especially the pubs, guesthouses and holiday let areas, loved summer, Dani hated it.

Getting onto the train, taking the two-hour trip to Plymouth, Dani fiddled with his wallet in his pocket. The only way Dani could avoid the mass crowds in summer was to do a massive shop in late May or early June. However, daily cash limits on bank accounts meant Dani had to do two tricky things. Firstly, he had to spend the night in Plymouth, which meant a hotel, which meant lying on a form (using a seedy hotel frequented by military lads cheating on their wives got around paying in cash) and it meant withdrawing money two days in a row, and from two accounts. All of the risks doubled.

*

Back in Penzance, cash in both pockets and in five envelopes in his back-pack, Dani was twitchy, partly through the risk and partly because he never slept in the hotel, it too noisy and grubby to relax. Crossing the road, he headed for the supermarket, avoiding his usual choice of butchers and fishmonger, summer not the time for him to be picky about quality.

Pushing his large trolley around the supermarket Dani filled it like someone preparing for Armageddon, methodically adding tins that would keep, to pastry that could be frozen and pastas and rices. Laughing to himself softly he headed for the aisles that house toilet rolls and medicines, remembering with weird fondness the time he’d gotten a stomach upset – Lamorna wasn’t the place to run out of loo roll and paracetamol when you didn’t know anyone! Once he was sure he had the diluting juices, oils, flour, sugar and other dry store cupboard ingredients he would need he finally headed for the frozen section, always last to give him the best chance of getting the meats home. Everything carefully selected to go with the vegetables in the garden, or the eggs and milk he knew he could buy from Mr Hawern’s farm van that pootled from village to village every other Thursday.

After paying, in cash, and declining the offer of a loyalty card again, Dani headed outside to the taxi queue, always saying the same thing to the driver “Seaview, Lamorna please, but can we stop at Halligan’s farm for logs on the way. Thank you.”

Only when he was home, unpacked, freezers full, and he’d meticulously checked the internet search alerts he had set up every day for a week did he relax, accepting that summer was here, the weather was about to get good, and he had enough supplies to safely hide for the duration.

*

Sitting on the steps watching the sunset, the sky a stunning mix of orange and pink, the forecast of the following day being a good day seemingly true if you believed the superstition, Dani sipped from a glass of red wine, a lump forming in his throat, a memory of another sunset, years before, the view shared, a glance that turned into a kiss, that turned into _everything_ … “I miss you…”

Letting a tear roll down his face, the only time of the year he allowed himself a day of moping, Dani sniffed, “Safe home race.”


	4. Paper Trail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't too long winded. It seemed like a good idea for a chapter, but now I'm not sure it works

"Where is the rest of it?"

"That's it."

Looking at the private investigator he scrunched his face up in disbelief, "You worked on this case for _eighteen months_... What about all the dead ends?"

"All in there," Shrugging, having been paid handsomely for little effort, the PI headed for the door, "You won't find him. He's well hidden."

Shaking his head, anger bubbling in his guts, "At least I'll fucking try!"

*

Opening the box, four lever arch ringbinders all neatly packed inside, labelled carefully with PEDROSA DANIEL RAMAL Miss:01/01/2017 Shut: 01/07/2019, he took them out one-by-one, stacked them on his desk in date order, flicked the radio on and started to read, the initial police report seeming like the best place to begin.

 *

**MISPER RISK REPORT: 76664 PEDROSA RAMAL DANIEL**

**Investigative consideration**

| 

**Details and circumstances**

| 

**Person giving the information**  
  
---|---|---  
  
**Is the person vulnerable due to age or infirmity or any other similar factor?**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Behaviour that is out character is often a strong indicator of risk; are the circumstances of going missing different from normal behaviour patterns?**

| 

Yes. Completely out of character. Missed mother’s birthday for first time ever

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Is the person suspected to be subject of a significant crime in progress eg abduction?**

| 

Unknown. Rich and high profile so is possible

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Is there any indication that the person is likely to commit suicide?**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Is there a reason for the person to go missing?  
**

| 

No known reason

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Are there any indications that preparations have been made for absence?  
**

| 

No outward indications. Bank accounts need to be checked to be sure

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**What was the person intending to do when last seen eg going to the shops or catching a bus and did they fail to complete their intentions?**

| 

Left a party at the home of Denis Pazagglini 11am 2 Jan in cab home to brother’s house.

| 

Eric Pedrosa Denis Pazagglini  
  
**Are there family or relationship problems or recent history of family conflict and/or abuse?  
**

| 

None

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Are they the victim or perpetrator of domestic violence?  
**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Does the missing person have any physical illness or mental health problems?  
**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Are they on the Child Protection Register?  
**

| 

N/A

| 

N/A  
  
**Previously disappeared and suffered or was exposed to harm?  
**

| 

Never been out of contact despite extensive travel in his career

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Belief that the person may not have the ability to interact safely with others or an unknown environment.**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Do they need essential medication that is not likely to be available to them?  
**

| 

No. Does occasionally take painkillers for old injuries

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Ongoing bullying or harassment, eg, racial, sexual, homophobic or local community concerns or cultural issues?**

| 

None known. Occasional instances of online trolling/bullying due to high profile career

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Were they involved in a violent and/or racist incident immediately prior to disappearance?**

| 

No

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**School / college / university / employment or financial problems?  
**

| 

No financially secure. Recently retired, but acquired new coaching role

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Drug or alcohol dependency?  
**

| 

No. Last WADA drug test on 1/1/2016 clear

| 

Eric Pedrosa  
  
**Other unlisted factors which the officer or supervisor considers should influence risk assessment?**

| 

Mobile phone turned off since 2nd January

Missed mother’s birthday.

| 

   
  
 In consideration of the above factors, their likelihood and seriousness, what level of risk do you consider to be adequate?

~~LOW RISK~~

| 

**MEDIUM RISK**

| 

~~HIGH RISK~~  
  
---|---|---  
  
  **Give reasons to substantiate this risk:** Misper has never been out of contact before. Has considerable financial wealth so could be at minor risk of abduction or blackmail. Family are deeply concerned

 **Officer completing:** David Garcia     **Rank:** Policia    **No:** 5862  **Date:** 10 January 2017   **Time:** 14:47

**SUPERVISING OFFICER**

What level of risk is considered appropriate by the supervising officer?

~~LOW RISK~~

| 

~~MEDIUM RISK~~

| 

**HIGH RISK**  
  
---|---|---  
  
**Give reasons to substantiate this risk:** Misper has never disappeared before. Considerable wealth and fame make him a potential victim of blackmail or_____ ransom. Rumours of sexuality online may play a factor in disappearance

 

 **Officer completing:** Maria Ruiz     **Rank:** SubInsp    **No:** 5247    **Date:** 10 January 2017   **Time:** 15:16

*

Noting down the names of the two officers, and their differing opinions on the risk level, he dug through the file and cursed, the first mistake by the PI spotted. Picking up his iPad he opened his email account and scrolled through his contacts until he found the one he was looking for, hoping that obtaining a copy of the full missing person report wouldn't be too difficult despite the passing of time.

*

Smiling as his email inbox pinged, his contact coming through as he hoped, he hit print and waited for the lengthy full report to print, ready to pour over the ten pages of information to find any detail he could that could point him in the right direction.

 

**MISSING PERSON REF NO: _7994_**

**LAST NAME: _PEDROSA RAMAL_**          

**FORENAME: _DANIEL_**

**Risk Factor**

To be completed **only** after completion of Risk Factor Decision Making Guide

[ **X** ] High Risk                 [  ] Medium Risk            [  ] Low Risk

 

  1. **MISSING STATUS**



[  ] Missing Child/Youth under 18 years

[] Absconder from hospital

[ **X** ] Missing Adult

 

  1. **PERSONAL DETAILS OF MISSING PERSON**



Date/Time of initial report: **_10/01/2017 14:40_**

Title: **_Mr_**

Last Name: **_Pedrosa Ramal_**

Forenames: **_Daniel_**

Other names used (eg nickname, preferred name, previous name): **_Dani_**

Nationality: **_Spanish_**

Age & Date of birth: **_31 years  29/09/85_**

Height: **_1.58m_**

Home Address: **_1 Chmin Sous le Bois, Nyon, Switzerland (Canton of Vaud)_**

Telephone number: **_041 123 45 67_**

Location missing from: **_Carrer de Canyelles, Castellar del Valles, Barcelona [brother’s house]_**

Mobile number: **_+41 075 1234567  or  789 123 456_**

Network Provider: **_Swisscom  or_** ** _Telefónica_**

Marital status of missing person: **_Single_**

 

  1. **PHOTOGRAPH OF MISSING PERSON**



[ **X** ] Digital image

[  ] Printed image

Date of photograph: **_25 th December 2016_**

Any physical changes since photograph: **_None_**

 

  1. **INITIAL INFORMANT DETAILS**



Name: **_Eric Pedrosa Ramal_**

Home Address: **_Carrer de Canyelles, Castellar del Valles, Barcelona_**

Telephone number: **_567 890 098_**

Mobile number: **_654 321 098_**

Place of Work: **_Works from home_**

Occupation: **_Model and personal trainer_**

Relationship to missing person: **_Brother_**

 

  1. **CIRCUMSTANCES LEADING TO DISAPPEARANCE**



Spent Christmas with family as normal. Left brother’s home on December 31st 2016 to attend a party for new year. Was expected home on the 2nd of January, but did not appear. It was assumed that the party had gone on longer and/or he was with friends. Cousin’s birthday was 7th January and concerns began when he did not appear and did not answer messages. Family began to look/contact friends. January 10th is his mother’s birthday and when no contact was made by lunchtime the family (parents and brother) decided to report officially.

 

  1. **LAST CONTACT**



Place last seen: **_16 Carrer d’Iris, Badalona_**

 **Last Apparent Sighting by** (all sightings to be recorded in the Investigation Log)

Name: **_Ramon Aurin_**

Home Address: **_16 Carrer d’Iris, Badalona_**

Telephone number: **_613 485 959_**

Occupation: **_Motorbike Engineer_**

Place of Work: **_HRC MotoGP team_**

Relationship to missing person: **_Friend/colleague_**

Detail of last sighting: **_Misper attended party in his house for new year. Arrived around 9pm on December 31 st 2016\. Stayed 2 nights. Left in taxi on 2nd January around 11am. Said he was returning to his brother’s house._**

 

  1. **DETAILS OF ANY CORROBORATION**



**_Other party guests to corroborate time of departure as departed at same time –_ **

**_Livio Suppo. HRC MotoGP team plus wife Elizabetta Suppo_ **

**_Hector Martin. HRC MotoGP team plus wife Olivia Garcia_ **

**_Marc Marquez. HRC MotoGP team_ **

**_Alex Marquez. MarcVDS Moto2 team_ **

**_Santi Hernandez. HRC MotoGP team_ **

**_Emilio Alzamora. Monlau Competicion plus wife Alison Mortez_ **

**_Alberto Puig. HRC Motorsport plus wife Antonia Ruiz_ **

**_Esteve Rabat. MarcVDS MotoGP team_ **

 

  1. **MISSING PREVIOUSLY – where and when found**



**_N/a_ **

 

  1. **RISK ASSESSMENT OF SUPERVISING OFFICER**



What level of risk is considered appropriate by the supervising officer?

[  ] LOW RISK

[  ] MEDIUM RISK

[ **X** ] HIGH RISK

Give reasons to substantiate this risk: **_Misper is 31 years of age and despite residence abroad and frequent travel with work he has kept in regular contact with his family. The family appear, at first glance, to be a close unit with his father and brother frequently travelling to a race weekend with him. Texts to the brother from the party host and friends show a similar level of concern from friends and colleagues. Both of the misper’s mobile phones are switched off and a call to his home in Switzerland reached his housekeeper who stated he was not there (and was not expected to be there). With a high level of personal wealth and a high profile due to his career I feel there is a risk of abduction for financial gain or blackmail._**

Supervising Officer Name and Number: **_Maria Ruiz 5247_**

Rank: **_Subinspector_**

 

  1. **MISPER CATEGORY**



**Completion of this section is compulsory in all misper cases**

The missing person is:

[  ] **A juvenile (Juvenile at risk)**

This is a request for law enforcement officers to commence protection if they are empowered to do so

[  ] **An adult in need of protection or who poses a threat to others (Adult at risk)**

This is a request for law enforcement officers to commence protection if they are empowered to do so

[ **X** ] **An adult not in need of protection or not posing a threat to others (Adult not at risk)**

This is a request for law enforcement officers to report back that they have located the person and provide a current address (provision of address only with the person’s consent)

**Identification Category**

Indicate which category is appropriate:

[ **X** ] ID known and confirmed (by fingerprints, DNA or photograph)

[  ] ID known but not confirmed

[  ] ID unknown

Creation of any missing person report on national computer automatically creates a missing person report on the Schengen Information System (SIS) at the same time. If the case is unusual eg an abduction, consider drawing the case to the attention of SECT (Sexual Exploitation and Child Trafficking) or MPACT (Missing Person Action Team) and provide supplementary information as they request.

If the missing person is high risk and you have grounds to believe that they may be outside the European Union/Schengen member states area consider issuing an Interpol notice (contact your force Interpol Liaison Officer).

 

  1. **CHILD RESCUE ALERT**



**_Not applicable_ **

 

  1. **TOP-TO-TOE DESCRIPTION OF MISSING PERSON**



Height: **_1.58m_**

Weight: **_53kg_**

Hair: **_Short hair. Dark brown in colour._**

Facial Hair: **_Normally clean shaven or minor stubble. Dark brown facial hair. Grows quickly_**

Eye Colour: **_Brown_**

Spectacles or Contact Lenses: **_No_**

Dentures: **_No dentures._**

Complexion: **_Tanned_**

Build: **_Slim build. Well defined muscles for athletic career_**

Sexuality: **_Homosexual (internet rumours of gay)_**

Clothing when last seen: **_White shirt. Blue jeans. Black leather jacket. Navy boat shoes._**

Other clothing information: **_Also carrying a black backpack containing black jeans, black shirt and black dress shoes._**

Scars: **_Numerous scars from racing injuries. Full details to be forwarded from doctor._**

 

  1. **JEWELLERY**



Earrings: **_No_**

Watch: **_CVOS Challenge Pedrosa watch in black with orange edging_**

Bracelet(s): **_No_**

Ring(s): **_No_**

Necklace(s): **_Silver chain with St Christopher pendant_**

 

  1. **OTHER PERSONAL POSSESSIONS**



Full details of other items believed to be in possession of missing person

**_Black back pack of unknown brand._ **

**_Black leather monogrammed wallet. Inscription on inside reading “Merry Christmas Uncle Dani. Love from Harry & Ella xx_ **

**_1 framed print named “Dani Pedrosa. Silverstone 2016” in a silver coloured frame._ **

**_Navy HRC logo’ed wash bag with toiletries._ **

 

  1. **MEANS OF TRANSPORT**



Has a number of vehicles, but all are in garage at brother’s home or in Switzerland. Company car is parked at his parents house.

 **Can they drive a motor vehicle?** [ **X** ] Yes  [  ] No

 **Full driving license?** [ **X** ] Yes   [  ] No

 

  1. **NEXT OF KIN**



Name: **_Antonio Pedrosa_**

Address: **_26 Carrer Tiana,_** _ **Castellar del Valles**_

 _Telephone number:_ _**689 251 645** _

_Relationship to missing person:_ _**Father** _

 

  1. _**CONSENT FORM**_



_Consent should be requested for the various options listed below (delete options as necessary)_

  1. Enquiries with medical practicioners / hospitals / dentists / educational establishments / workplaces / financial or other agencies or their representatives and to examine, take, copy and retain any material considered relevant to the enquiry into the disappearance of the person named in this report.
  2. Information being passed to the media
  3. Details being passed to the National Missing Persons Helpline, who will make enquiries and offer support in relation to this investigation
  4. Permission to liase with the Schengen Information Services where felt necessary.
  5. Search of premises or part of premises occupied or owned by the missing person.



I consent to the investigation officer **_Subinspector Maria Ruiz_** taking the actions in respect of items number 1, ~~2~~ , 3, 4, 5 (delete as necessary) above.

Date/Time: **_10 January 2017 15:35_**

Name: **_Antonio Pedrosa_**

Signature: **_Antonio Pedrosa_**

Relationship to missing person: **_Father_**

 

  1. **RELATIVES, FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES**



**_Basilia Ramal, 26 Carrer Tiana, _Castellar del Valles, 689 251 645__ **

_**Raul Jara, 2 Chemin Sous le Bois, Nyon, Switzerland (Canton of Vaud), +41 075 9876543** _

_**Livio Suppo, c/o REPSOL HONDA MotoGP, 645 281 957** _

_**Hector Martin, c/o REPSOL HONDA MotoGP, 612 548 385** _

_**Yukihide Akitsu, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 654 985 625** _

_**Alberto Puig, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 611 554 856** _

_**Jose Manuel Allende, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 659 845 968** _

_**Daniel Petzold, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 632 956 421** _

_**Masashi Ogo, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 628 549 352** _

_**Alex Marquez, c/o MarcVDS Moto2, 696 363 252** _

_**Esteve Rabat, c/o MarcVDS Moto2, 611 455 855** _

_**Denis Pazaglini, c/o Repsol Honda MotoGP, 644 558 993** _

 

  1. **FINANCIAL DETAILS**



**Bank/Building Society**

Name: **_Credit Suisse Bank_**

Branch: **_Nyon, Switzerland_**

Sort Code: **_659 25 69 36_**

Account Number: **_58692469_**

****

**Credit, cash and store card details**

Name on card: **_Daniel Pedrosa_**

Card Provider: **_Amex_**

Card no: **_Unknown_**

****

**Credit, cash and store card details**

Name on card: **_Mr D Pedrosa_**

Card Provider: **_Mastercard_**

Card no: **_Unknown_**

****

**Credit, cash and store card details**

Name on card: **_Mr D Pedrosa_**

Card Provider: **_Emirates Skywards_**

Card no: **_Unknown_**

****

Amount of cash in possession of missing person: **_Approximately E400_**

 

  1. **PASSPORT DETAILS**



Valid Passport: [  ] No   [ **X** ] Yes

Passport number: **_265985632468_**

Expiry date: **_10 June 2020_**

Place of issue: **_Barcelona_**

Location of passport: **_Unknown_**

 

  1. **OTHER IDENTIFICATION CARRIED OTHER THAN BANKING CARDS**



Type and description: **_Swiss driving license_**

 

  1. **ACTIONS TO BE CARRIED OUT**



Ordering Officer: **_Subinspector Maria Ruiz_**

  1. **_Check police national computer_**
  2. **_Make thorough search of brother’s home_**
  3. **_Make thorough search of home address (request Swiss police assistance)_**
  4. **_Make thorough search of parent’s home_**
  5. **_Make list of all guests at party_**
  6. **_Interview all witnesses to disappearance_**
  7. **_Check local hospitals_**
  8. **_Check custody_**
  9. **_Obtain full list of friends and acquaintances_**
  10. **_Check local information systems_**
  11. **_Contact all local taxi firms to locate taxi from party_**
  12. **_Contact mobile telephone provider(s) to try and track phones_**



****

**_If not located then further actions should be as follows.._ **

****

  1. **_Contact banks to check for transactions_**
  2. **_Obtain missing persons’ diary, electronic organiser or laptops_**
  3. **_Seek specialist assistance to check emails sent and received_**
  4. **_Check missing persons’ telephone bill to run checks_**
  5. **_Check CCTV systems around party location, brothers’ home and other areas_**
  6. **_Consider house-to-house enquiries in vicinity of party location_**
  7. **_Consider house-to-house enquiries in vicinity of brother’s home_**
  8. **_Launch search party in areas of party house and brother’s home_**
  9. **_Speak to family regarding a reconsideration of making missing status public_**
  10. **_Place markers on missing person’s bank accounts_**



**_Officers David Garcia (5862) and Sara Natal (6588) will begin the search._ **

*

Turning over the last page he picked up his pen, ready to highlight the parts of the report that he wanted to focus on first, glad of a starting point.


	5. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promise I won't tease you toooo much longer.
> 
> Thank you so much for commenting, it's really spurring me on because I'm loving this one.
> 
> The italic parts are Dani flashing back in his mind to happier times.

"You should go to London, to one of the gay clubs..." Morwenna raised a cheeky eyebrow, "It's been a while...."

Dani laughed, not genuinely, just enough to make the friend trying to help think she'd helped whilst he quietly died inside, "Not really my thing..."

"Nothing is your thing Xav... You don't want to live here on your own forever..." Pausing for a second Morwenna cursed when he got up from the table, abruptly clearing the plates, her edging toward the subject of his past obviously a sore point, "Sorry, I."

Putting the plates in the sink Dani looked out of the window, tears stinging his eyes as he looked at the horizon, "You don't have to be sorry. It's just..."

"It's just complicated?"

Nodding, refusing to turn around for fear of letting everything spill out, Dani shrugged, "I'm sorry..."

"What for?" Pushing gently, sensing he really did need to talk, his edginess far more than normal, Morwenna poured them both more wine, "I... I know that you are not Xavier..."

Spinning aorund, panick on his face, his eyes wide, Dani's voice was almost a screech, "WHAT?!"

"I guess it's your middle name or something... You don't always react to it... It's ok..."

Eyeing her suspiciously, his heart racing like the clappers, Dani stuttered, "Middle name?"

"Yeah, I mean, I'm just assuming. That's what I'd do. In fact you've inspired me," Taking a glug of wine she smiled, still the same friendly smile as normal.

"Inspired?"

"Yeah, I think when I'm travelling I'll tell people my name is Grace..." She pulled a face, "It's a bit less of a mouthful than _Morwenna_..."

"Morwenna is a beautiful name."

"Thanks," Shrugging her shoulders Morwenna sighed, "I'm sorry Xav, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's ok," Dani smiled sadly, moving back to the table and picking up his own glass of wine, "It's not that I don't trust you, it's just..."

"That you don't trust anyone?" Taking his hand Morwenna smiled kindly, "Tell me as much or as little as you like. I just got the impression you wanted to talk about someone..."

Flopping down onto his chair Dani nodded, biting his lip to stifle tears, "I miss him. I miss him so much."

*

_"Merry Christmas baby..." Coming back into his bedroom, well his bedroom in Eric's house, with a tray full of breakfast and a gift under his arm, Dani smiled at the frowning wake up face that greeted him, "Come on lazy bones, it's time to wake up."_

_Rolling onto his back the younger man frowned as he looked around the room, before a smile flitted across his face as he remembered where he was, and more importantly why, "Morning..."_

_"Breakfast first or presents first?"_

_"Breakfast..."_

_"Really?" Dani put the tray down on the bed before settling down next to it, opposite his lover, "I thought you'd 100% say presents."_

_"Presents will mean hugs and hugs will mean sex and sex will mean you **ruining** me and for that I need fuel..." Grinning, his candour bringing a pink blush to Dani's cheeks, he grabbed a piece of toast, biting a corner off, his nakedness unbothering to him, "Is Eric home?"_

_"No," Peeling the lid from a yoghurt Dani blushed again at the dirty laugh from the other man._

_"Good..." Lifting the tray up from the bed, then reaching for Dani's yoghurt and dumping it on the bedside table, he chucked his toast toward the bin, not caring that he missed, "Changed my mind..."_

_"Oh have...." The rest of his sentence swallowed by the other's mouth, latching onto his, kissing him desperately, Dani felt his stomach flip, knowing that this would be one of the last times he saw this, and felt this. Wrapping his arms around the younger man, Dani pushed him backwards, blanketing him as best he could, determined to make it a memory to treasure._

*

_"Dani... Fuck Dani..."_

_Settling his hands on the younger man's hips, fully seated in him, the endless time he'd taken to lick him open more than worth it when he pushed into the glorious heat, nothing between them, Dani leant down to press a kiss to his spine, "Easy baby..."_

_"Move please move."_

_Circling his hips, enough to to rub himself against the other's prostate, drawing the mewl that he loved so much, Dani was glad he'd insisted on this way, knowing the dark eyes would have seen something wrong in his face as a tear rolled down and splashed onto the younger man's skin, closing his eyes, savouring the sounds and feels, Dani slid himself out, before pushing back in, his nails leaving red crescents on the others' skin, determined to fulftil his promise to ruin him._

*

Yawning, the police reports taking longer to go through than expected he stopped, before going back to the first page and double checking the information, "What the??"

Flicking the pages back and forth until he convinced himself he was seeing what he thought he was seeing, he flicked through the rest of the pages, finding the statements that the PI had thankfully managed to obtain, he found the first mistake, something missed by the police AND the PI. Taking the two sheets out of the folder he took them to the scanner, making copies before carefully putting them back, meticulously tidying the folder before closing it. Placing the two sheets side-by-side he shook his head, stunned that no-one had spotted the obvious before now.

 

  1. **LAST CONTACT**



Place last seen: **_16 Carrer d’Iris, Badalona_**

 **Last Apparent Sighting by** (all sightings to be recorded in the Investigation Log)

Name: **_Ramon Aurin_**

Home Address: **_16 Carrer d’Iris, Badalona_**

Telephone number: **_613 485 959_**

Occupation: **_Motorbike Engineer_**

Place of Work: **_HRC MotoGP team_**

Relationship to missing person: **_Friend/colleague_**

Detail of last sighting: **_Misper attended party in his house for new year. Arrived around 9pm on December 31 st 2016\. Stayed 2 nights. Left in taxi on 2nd January around 11am. Said he was returning to his brother’s house._**

 

 

**What was the person intending to do when last seen eg going to the shops or catching a bus and did they fail to complete their intentions?**

| 

Left a party at the home of Denis Pazagglini 11am 2 Jan in cab home to brother’s house.

| 

Eric Pedrosa Denis Pazagglini  
  
---|---|---  
  
 

Looking back and forth between the two pages he picked up his phone, the place to start asking questions now obvious, "Hey Denis, are you in Spain right now?"

 


	6. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why did Dani leave? Time to find out ;)

“Do you want to tell me about him?” Her arm around Dani’s shoulders, tears streaming down his face, Morwenna placed a kiss in his hair, “How did you meet him?”

“Wwwork,” Dani sniffed, the pain in his belly even just thinking about him sharp like a knife, “We….. We all sort-of worked for ourselves, but for a bigger company. Lots of us did similar jobs, just different levels.”

“What’s he like?”

“Beautiful,” Answering without hesitation Dani smiled through the tears, “He’s beautiful… Everything got so fucked up… In Sp..where I come from being gay it’s… It’s not illegal or anything, but…”

“But people are cunts and judge?”

“Yeah,” Dani laughed at the candid choice of words, Morwenna’s Cornish accent making them sound even harsher, “So it was a secret. It had to be. Then some people found out. His family, some of them, they weren’t happy.  Then…”

“Hey, hey,” Pulling Dani into a hug, the tears turning into sobs, Morwenna closed her eyes, Dani finally letting barriers down as he clung to her and cried, occasional words sneaking out, filling her in on the (carefully edited) story of how he ended up in Lamorna.

*

Handing Dani a cup of coffee Morwenna sat back down next to him, “I’ve closed the windows.”

“Thank you,” Sighing softly as the warmth from the mug heated his hands, Dani took a shuddery breath, “I can’t believe I’ve been crying on your shoulder for four hours.”

Morwenna smiled kindly, pleased Dani had finally decided he could trust her, at least with some of his story, “I’m your friend, it’s what friends are for.”

“Thank you,” Smiling, the smile reaching his eyes, lighting the dark circles ringing them a little, Dani leant in and kissed her on the cheek, “I feel better for talking.”

“You’re welcome,” Taking a drink of her own coffee, both of them wincing as the sound of wind whipped around the cottage, the old bricks whistling, “So, what are you doing to do?”

“Do?” Dani frowned in confusion, “About what?”

“Your life…”

“Nothing,” Dani shrugged sadly, “Nothing can change what happened.”

“But if you tell him, about protecting his career and not wanting to cause problems with his family, then he’ll understand why you left and…”

“No,” Dani interrupted with a firm shake of the head, “I’ll never go back. It wouldn’t be fair on him.”

“But.”

“No, Morwenna,” Dani’s voice cracked, his eyes fluttering shut, “He… He was nervous. I was his first, and he asked me once, had there been anyone else in the, at work, and I said no… It was true, because I thought he meant… had there been anyone else that I loved, and I there hadn’t.”

“That’s alright.”

“It’s not, it’s really not,” Putting his coffee down Dani put his head in his hands, “I should have told him when I realised and I didn’t… Then someone else found out, someone high up… He, he wasn’t having the best time at work. He was brilliant, he _is_ brilliant, but it wasn’t always easy… They said…”

“What did they say?” Morwenna probed gently, her hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, “Xav?”

“They said he’d lose his job if it came out us,” Dani bit his lip, bitterness creeping into his voice, “They wanted rid of me, I get that, but… But they said they’d out all of us, me, him, and my ex… So his career would be fucked, and he know I lied, and my ex would get fucked over into the bargain… It took us _years_ to become friends again after it all went wrong… So…”

“So you ran away, sacrificing everything to protect them.”

“What choice did I have?” Dani dissolved into sobs, letting Morwenna pull him in again, “I wwwas going to lllose everything annnnyway. Ttthis wway hhhheee kkkept eeeverything.”

“Ssssh…” Rocking Dani in her arms, the Spaniard crying loud and hard, Morwenna sighed sadly, “He kept everything except you.”

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:15

 **Subject:** Radiator Leak

Hey,

Just to let you know I think I’ve got a radiator leak… Spoke to a guy about it about an hour ago. He’s **very** sure there’s something more going on, tried to explain to him that I know what I’m doing, but he’s **very** insistent. I imagine I’ll hear from him again.

Denis

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:19

 **Subject:** RE: Radiator Leak

Do I know him? Have you spoken to Ramon?

I was actually thinking about coming to Barcelona for a few days later this week. Are you free?

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:23

 **Subject:** RE:RE: Radiator Leak

Yeah, you know him. No, I haven’t spoken to him for a long time.

Not sure, depends how busy things get. Maybe hold off til next week and see how things go?

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:25

 **Subject:** RE:RE:RE: Radiator Leak

Right. Obvious candidate or? Me neither, I don’t even know if the number I have for him still works.

Will do, let me know.

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:27

 **Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE: Radiator Leak

No, part of his team. Maybe for the best…

I will.

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:25

 **Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Radiator Leak

They’ve always been a close bunch that lot. Yeah maybe, unless someone tracks him down…

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 15 th June 2020 11:27

 **Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Radiator Leak

Yep. Cross that bridge when you get to it.

Speak to you later in the week

*

“Come on,” Helping Dani on to his bed, the combination of crying and drinking having rendered his limbs mostly useless, Morwenna shook her head, unable to stifle a giggle as he got himself tangled in his shirt trying to take it off, “Want a hand.”

“Nofinemanagethank **you**.”

“Sure you can,” Morwenna laughed, turning to the tall set of drawers in the corner, “Want a t-shirt to sleep in?”

“Yespleasethankyou.”

“You are brilliant when you are drink,” Laughing she opened the first two drawers and closed them when not finding a t-shirt, opening the third she rifled through the bundle of polo shirts before finding some plain white t-shirts. Pulling one out she stopped as she spotted a photograph, hidden in the corner of the drawer, the line down the middle giving away how much time it had spent folded, smiling sadly at the face staring back, Morwenna felt a tear pool in the corner of her eye, “You are as beautiful as he said….”

“Mmmm stuck!”

“Wha… What the fuck?” Closing the drawer Morwenna buckled with laughter, Dani completely tangled in his shirt, buttons obviously abandoned in favour of trying, and failing, to pull it over his head, “Oh Xavier… Hands up.”


	7. Questions

**To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 10 th July 2020 08:52

 **Subject:** Catch Up

Hey mate! Hope you and the family are well.

I know it’s short notice, but do you fancy coming to Barca for a few days for a catch up? It’s been too long!

Ramon is in town, I heard Hector talking to him this morning.

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 10 th July 2020 10:00

 **Subject:** RE: Catch Up

Hey. We’re all good.

Sounds good mate. I’ll book a flight. You flying back from Sachsenring tonight?

Oh, I didn’t know they were friends…

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 10 th July 2020 10:14

 **Subject:** RE: RE: Catch Up

Yeah I’m coming back on the official HRC flight. Gets into El Prat at 22:05

I don’t think they are, Ramon looked pretty hacked off. Have you heard from him?

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 10 th July 2020 10:18

 **Subject:** RE:RE: RE: Catch Up

I’ve booked one that gets in at 9.30 so I’ll wait for you in the coffee shop.

I’ve not. Maybe I’ll catch up with him when I’m in Barcelona.

I’m thinking I might need to call someone about my radiator. Speak to the guy I bought it from. Let him know I’m having trouble.

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 10 th July 2020 10:25

 **Subject:** RE: RE: RE: RE: Catch Up

No probs.

Yeah, it’d be nice to catch up with him again. See what he’s been up too.

I wouldn’t yet mate; we’ll be able to figure it out I reckon.

See you tonight.

*

“Ramon, long time no see…”

Feeling instantly on edge, wishing he’d never attended the race, Ramon shook the other man’s hand, “Emilio.”

“How are you? Are you working? Scouting for a job? Tito is looking for a new Crew Chief…”

Shaking his head Ramon folded his arms, wary of everyone in the paddock, “My MotoGP days are over.”

“That’s a shame. You were top class at your job,” Emilio shrugged, aware he was nowhere near as good at surreptitiously pulling information from people as Hector, “Not the same without Dani eh?”

Ramon sighed, shaking his head, “I see… Look I told Hector earlier, I have no idea where Dani is. He left mine in that taxi and I never saw him again.”

“I didn’t realise you’d spoken to Hector,” Emilio lied, hoping his years of bluster and making deals would pay off, “He’s got a bit of a bee in his bonnet at the moment…”

Not completely buying it Ramon nodded, “It’s having an effect on your boy…”

“On both of them,” Emilio sighed, the decision made after the brothers fought the hardest of his life, “On everyone I think.”

“They talking yet?”

“No, I only officially work for one of them now. Hector one, Jose-Luis the other…” Emilio shook his head, glancing up at the noise, the Red Bull Rookies out on track, “I imagined lots of scenarios when I thought about their futures, but Dani missing and them not speaking isn’t one I foresaw in my worst nightmares.”

Ramon laughed, a sound of disbelief, and nodded, “I know what you mean.”

*

“Ok, maybe you were right…”

Looking up from his laptop Hector tilted his head to the side, “Huh?”

“Ramon, the Dani situation,” Emilio sat next to the younger man, coffee in his hand, “There’s definitely something there…”

Hector nodded in agreement, “Very edgy, yeah?”

“Yeah very much so,” Emilio took a deep breath, “What could it be though? I mean, it doesn’t make sense that he just walked out AND he’s jumpy so?”

Chewing on his lip Hector closed the lid of his laptop, his eyes scanning around them, making sure no-one was listening, “I can only think of two theories…”

“That’s two more than me, go on…”

“Well,” Hector paused, choosing his words carefully, before throwing caution to the wind, “Either they’re covering for Dani… Or… They’re covering for themselves…”

“Covering for themselves?” Emilio frowned, confused, before getting a sinking feeling in his stomach, “No way, they’d never harm Dani. Besides, those flights he booked…”

“The flights he booked and didn’t get on?” Hector bit his lip again, aware he sounded ludicrous, “The CCTV picture of Dani at Heathrow getting off the flight from El Prat wasn’t exactly clear…”

“Yeah, but no-one else could use his passport in this day and…” Trailing off, Eric walking past them, deep in conversation with Denis, Emilio shook his head, scolding himself for the momentary thought, “No, no way.”

“I don’t think so either,” Watching Eric and Denis from behind his sunglasses, both of them animated as they talked, Hector shrugged, “I think it’s more likely that they know that Dani was planning to go…”

“You think they know where he is?”

“I think someone does,” Hector tilted his head, “Dead or alive, I think one of them knows something.”

“What a mess…” Emilio sighed, rubbing his hand over his temples, “I thought this was a ridiculous idea you know, searching again…”

“I know you did,” Hector acknowledged, “Now?”

“Now…” Looking up and down the paddock, suddenly suspicious of everyone, “Now I think we tell him you’ve got some personal issues at home and you go take a couple of months searching full time…”

*

“Hey…”

“Hi,” Standing to shake Denis’ hand Raul smiled, “Long time no see…”

“Yeah,” Denis sat down, happy to let Raul finish the coffee he’d ordered while waiting, “We have a problem.”

“I know.”

“No,” Denis shook his head, “We have another problem…”

“What?” Raul cursed, wishing people would just let the situation go.

“Eric heard Hector speaking to Ramon,” Denis sat back in the chair, shaking his head, “He thinks Ramon acted _weirdly_ ….”

“And?” Irritated, Hector’s stirring causing too many ripples in the water for his liking, Raul sighed, “And Eric is now suspicious again?”

“Exactly…”

“Great,” Raul put his cup down hard, frustrated, “Just bloody great.”

 

 

 


	8. Why Are You Asking Questions?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments on this one. I'm really enjoying it and the lovely comments are really spurring me on xx

Sitting on his paddleboard, wishing the tourists standing on the tiny beach would disappear, Dani smiled as Morwenna appeared next to him, laughing as she carefully paddled over, “Careful…”

“God,” Morwenna chuckled, mock sighing, “You almost drown _once_ and people just get over-protective forever…”

Laughing, genuinely amused, Dani shook his head, “Yeah, I’m sure it’d be so much better if people didn’t give a shit…”

“Sometimes…” Rolling her eyes, able to imagine how on edge her parents were, Morwenna nodded toward the tourists, “Do you think there is more this year than there was last year?”

“Yes,” Without hesitation Dani nodded, the frown on his face carving deep lines into his forehead, “It’s to be expected with the Old School House and the Old Post Office being holiday lets now.”

“I bet you know exactly how many tourists we’ve had,” Morwenna laughed, before feeling guilty at the awkward look on Dani’s face, “Sorry Xav, you know I’m only teasing…”

Nodding, wishing he could ignore the fact that there was almost double the number of people visiting the village as before, everyone else, Morwenna’s parents especially, delighted as more people meant more trade, Dani smiled, “I know.”

“It’s August tomorrow, we’ve nearly made it through another Cornish summer,” Morwenna smiled, genuinely wanting his life to be easier, “I have some news for you…”

His stomach flipping, Dani breathed a few times, news something he always dreaded, “Hmm?”

“I’ve decided to go to Europe early….”

Shocked, instantly torn between being pleased for her as she really did need to escape the claustrophia of the tiny place and sadness at his only friend leaving, Dani frowned, “Why?”

“Mrs Barnes’ lad Owen has come back from university, didn’t settle apparently. He came in last night and mentioned looking for work… He worked for them last year, remember he spilled the wine on Mrs Ostebal?”

Dani chuckled, remembering the piercing shriek that made everyone jump when the head of the Parish Council was accidentally showered with red wine, “I remember.”

“My father said as long as he stays away from Parish Council members he’d happily take him on… So I pretended to call you and you are going to rearrange some work things so that we can go and take in some of the summer sun in Europe…”

“Oh, I am am I?” Dani laughed, the smile on his face reaching his eyes, “That’s great Morwenna, I guess this means I’m dining with your folks soon?”

“If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all…” Nodding toward the beach Dani smiled, “Shall we make a run for it before they come back with their chips?”

“Huh?” Looking up Morwenna groaned, the tourists all looking at the menu outside the little café, seagulls in Cornwall all well fed and well versed on the skill of attacking tourists for food, “Yes lets.”

“Last to the top cooks the dinner?”

“Yea…. Hey! Cheat!!” Paddling as fast as she could, Dani already racing to shore, Morwenna laughed, “You just wait Xavier Ramos! I will get you back for this!”

*

“Why are you asking questions about Dani?”

Looking up from his lunch, taking some time out from searching to eat in a beachside eatery in Barcelona, Hector looked shocked, “Hey Eric… What are you doing here?”

“I was going to meet some friends,” Pulling up a chair uninvited Eric looked unsettled, “Why are you asking so many questions about Dani? His neighbours told me you’d been to Switzerland…”

Closing his notebook Hector’s brain whirred, “Well, I…”

“Is this because Alex and Marc have fallen out? Have they fallen out about Dani?”

“You don’t know where he is?”

Staring at Hector like he was stupid Eric shook his head, “I was the one who reported him missing, what kind of stupid question is that?”

“You did tell the police two different things about where he was last seen…” Studying Eric’s face, spotting the flicker of _something_ Hector narrowed his eyes, “Why was that?”

Shifting uncomfortably in his seat Eric shrugged, “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Fine,” Hector sighed, calling Eric’s bluff, “I’ll flag up the discrepancy to the police and they can ask you why…”

“No!” Catching Hector’s arm as he went to stand up, Eric sighed, shaking his head, “You can’t do that.”

“Why can’t I?” Settling back in his seat Hector waited, Eric obviously struggling with what to do, “Eric?”

“He was at Denis’ place…”

“Why change it to Ramon’s?”

“He had been at Ramon’s…” Eric ran his fingers through his hair, the stress showing on his face, obviously conflicted, “He was at Ramon’s for the new year party…”

“I know that, I was there… He stayed another night, no?”

“He was going too…”

“Why didn’t he?”

“He had a row with Marc…”

“I know that too. Marc left.”

“He did,” Eric chewed on his lip, “They rowed about Alex. And Jorge. And Dani got pretty drunk…”

“Right…”

“So Raul and Denis took him to Denis’ place… It was busy at Ramon’s, noisy, there was too much alcohol…”

“Ok…” Hector frowned, confused, “So he stayed at Denis’, why lie to the police?”

“Because Jorge came to see him…”

“Right,” Hector sighed, “Did they…”

“No! God no,” Eric shook his head, “Jorge was the past. They spoke about what Nakamoto said.”

“What did Nakamoto say?”

“You don’t know?”

“No?”

“He threatened Dani…” Eric shook his head, anger creeping onto his face, “All the years Dani worked for Honda. All the injuries… The times he raced too soon because they needed him….”

“Eric,” Hector interrupted, sensing the younger man about to lose track, “What did Nakamoto threaten him?”

“That he’d out them if Dani didn’t end it… The three of them.”

“That would have…”

“Finished your boys career? Yeah,” Eric nodded sadly, “It probably would have… And would have been a mega shit-storm. And would have been front page news... They'd have torn them all to shreds.”

“So you lied to the police so that no-one saw Jorge coming here?”

“Yeah,” Eric wiped away a tear, “Raul said that they’d turn it into a sordid love triangle…”

“They probably would have…”

“I thought he’d come back,” Tears streaming down his face, Eric sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, “I thought they’d find him. As Raul said Dani is famous in Spain… It wouldn’t matter that a few CCTV cameras around Denis’ place wouldn’t be checked because **somebody** would have seen him because he’s Dani Pedrosa, people notice him, they recognise him…”

“And this was Raul’s plan?”

“Yeah,” Eric smiled softly, “He was great. He’s always really cool under pressure, he was the one able to keep a level head through it all. He sends my parents money every now and again, even now. And sometimes when they insist on sending the money back he sends them stuff, like food or that.”

“That’s nice,” Hector smiled, more convinced than ever that _someone_ did know where Dani was, “Eric, do you have **any** idea where Dani could have gone?”

“No,” Shaking his head, tears spilling again, Eric’s voice sounded choked, “We’ve been everywhere, me and my Dad… The places we went as a kid, places he loved, anywhere that was on his wall map… He’s just vanished into thin air…”

“We’ll find him,” Hector smiled, patting Eric’s arm, “Want a coffee mate?”

“Yeah,” Eric nodded, wiping his face again, “Please.”

 

 

 

 

 


	9. He Left Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second part for tonight
> 
> Hopefully some more questions answered ;)

“What can I get you?”

Smiling at the shop assistant, aware he was about to sound crazy, and potentially cause some publicity to his search, Hector puffed out his cheeks, “This is probably going to sound crazy, but, how long do you keep your CCTV for?”

“Excuse me?” Instantly looking wary the blonde shop manager hovered her hand near the silent alarm, “Long enough for the police to get here…”

Realising what he’d said, and how it had been taken, Hector shook his head, panicking, “No, no! Sorry. I didn’t mean… Something happened, someone damaged my car outside here and I thought it was some kids so I didn’t bother, but I’ve just been told it was my crazy ex. She’s giving me a tonne of grief, but because I can’t prove it I can’t do anything about it. It’s a really long shot because it was like three years ago…”

“We only keep it for twenty-eight days I’m afraid,” Relaxing slightly, Hector a good liar, the manager smiled, “Sorry.”

“No problem,” Hector shrugged, “It was worth a try.”

“Yeah anything after February 2017 is all on DVD, that’s when my husband and I put the new system in. My father used to record everything on video. He’s got hundreds of them!” Laughing, a high tinkly sound, the manager shook her head, “My mother despairs!”

“Did you say February?” His heart jumping, his visit to the store only made on the tiniest off chance, Hector’s palms felt clammy, “I’m looking for January second 2017…”

“Well, unless my mother has had any joy forcing him to chuck them out then you might be in luck. Can you come back tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes I can come back whenever suits you.”

“Ok, I’ll call him tonight.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much.”

*

“Why are you asking so many questions about Dani?”

Looking up, a feeling of déjà vu creeping over him, Hector smiled softly, “Hey, how are you?”

“Never mind the pleasantries,” Pulling out the chair opposite Hector, his eyes boring into the older man, Marc sat down, his face unreadable, “Why are you asking so many questions about Dani?”

Toying with the coffee cup, Hector shrugged, “I’m curious. I don’t see how someone as famous as Dani could just vanish into thin air.”

“What do you know?”

“What do **you** know?” Narrowing his eyes Hector shook his head, “You never told me you rowed with him the night before he disappeared.”

“You knew about that.”

“Not from you I didn’t. You didn’t tell me,” Tilting his head to the side, trying not to make the tone accusatory, Hector’s voice was slightly wobbly, “You didn’t tell the police either.”

“It was none of their business,” Marc sniffed, his voice flat, his usual spark missing, “It’s none of yours either. Why are you doing this?”

“Because there are a lot of people who miss him,” Hector shrugged, “There are a lot of people who live under black clouds not knowing what happened to him, or why.”

“It’s obvious why.”

“Because Nakamoto threatened him?”

“Yeah,” Shaking his head Marc sighed, “It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it would have been. It’d have been massive.”

“Is that why you rowed?”

“Partly.”

“Why else?”

“Jorge.”

“What about him?”

“He’d just been dumped by Nuria,” Picking up Hector’s coffee and stealing a mouthful Marc’s voice was wistful, as if he was actually in the room, in front of Dani, the teammates screaming at each other.

*

_“He’s not your problem, what do you care?”_

_“He’s my FRIEND!” Standing in Ramon’s hallway Dani’s voice was pitchy, a combination of alcohol and hurt at being accused._

_“Yeah, a friend that was your first love…”_

_Shaking his head at the sarcasm dripping from Marc’s voice, Dani sighed, “So because we were lovers once I can’t care? I can’t check he’s ok without wanting to fuck him again?”_

_“You tell me Dani.”_

_“I AM telling you! Jorge and I are friends. Just friends.”_

_“If you say so.”_

_“I do.”_

*

“You think he was in love with Jorge?”

Marc shrugged, stirring the froth on the top of the coffee with the spoon, destroying the pattern created by the barista, “I dunno.”

“Why did you accuse him?”

Biting his lip, guilt written all over his face, Marc’s voice dropped quieter, “I wanted him to end it…”

“Why?” Hector sighed, completely confused.

“Because Nakamoto would have done it, he’d have carried out his threat…”

“This is why Alex won’t speak to you, isn’t it?”

Looking off into the distance, his eyes glassy with tears, Marc nodded, “Yeah. Sort of. He doesn't know, but it's why.”

“Why? Why did you do that?” Pushing him, Hector waited for an answer, the younger man sniffing hard, “Marc?”

“Do you remember the 2016 season?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you remember how many times Alex crashed?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember how hard Emilio had to push MarcVDS to get him one more year?”

“Marc, I…”

“It would have **ruined** him Hector…” Sounding more and more bereft by the second Marc shook his head, “I told him it had to end. Dani, I mean. I told him it had too and he said it didn’t. He said that he could ride out the storm so I…”

“You what?” Voice gentler, pushing Marc to confide in him, Hector waited, knowing the younger man needed more time, “What did you do Marc?”

“I told him how badly Alex handled 2011.”

“What?” Stunned, the answer not something he was expecting, Hector frowned in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Did Emilio ever tell you how badly I handled that injury?”

“A bit.”

“I smashed things, I drank, I hid in my room, I applied for college courses because I said I was never getting back on a bike…”

“What has this got to do with Dani?”

“I…” Taking a deep breath, a pink tinge of shame spreading over his cheeks, Marc looked Hector in the eye, candid, but remorseful, “I told Dani all that happened, but I told him it was Alex…”

*

Throwing open his front door, the incessant hammering making him rush, Emilio glowered at Hector, “What the fuck?!”

“You need to see this…” VCR under one arm, cassette in his hand, Hector pushed past Emilio, talking as he made his way to the older man’s lounge, “Raul knows where Dani is. And I spoke to Marc, he lied to Alex, that’s why he couldn’t bring himself to fix the issue, because he’s terrified Alex will see through him. Also he said… _Alex_ … Hey…”

Standing in his manager’s lounge, confusion on his face as he took in Hector’s words, Emilio rushing behind him, trying and failing to prevent him from hearing, Alex tilted his head to the side, his voice quiet, “Raul knows where Dani is?”

“I…” Looking to Emilio first, utterly thrown by the presence of Alex, Hector stumbled over his words, “I think so… I think…”

“What did Marc lie about?” Alex crossed his arms over his chest, the air suddenly feeling chilly, “Hector? Why couldn’t he bring himself to fix things?”

“He had a row with Dani. The night before…”

“Yeah, they were both drunk and argued about the new chassis… Didn’t they?”

“No,” Hector shook his head, aware of Emilio’s groan next to him, the older man wringing his hands, “They rowed about you.”

“Me?” Sounding younger and more lost each time they spoke, Alex’s eyes drilled into Hector, “Why?”

“Because Nakamoto threatened Dani… He threatened to out Dani, and you…… And Jorge.”

“Jorge?” Alex frowned, before nodding, tears stinging his eyes, as he realised the obvious that he'd missed, “Jorge and Dani used to be a thing?”

“Years ago… They were just kids…” Hector smiled, hoping he was about to say the right thing, “It wasn’t love, not like you two…”

“And Marc knew, knows, this?”

“I think he found out because of Nakamoto…”

“Right,” Alex nodded, trying to process all of the words, his brain scrambling them all up, “What is the tape?”

“It’s…” Putting the VCR down on the sofa, the tatty old machine digging into his fingers, Hector tried to pick his words carefully, “It’s Dani. Outside of Denis’ flat, the day he went missing.”

“Ramon’s, he went missing from Ramon’s…”

“No. He didn’t stay with Ramon. He stayed with Denis, he left Ramon’s after the row with Marc.”

“So why did Eric say that?”

“They were worried about the three of you being outed… They didn’t want to put you in the middle of a shitstorm.”

“So they lied to the police?” Wrapping his arms tighter, Alex’s eyes suddenly widened, “So the police had no chance of seeing him on CCTV because he wasn’t there?”

“No.”

“So where did that come from?”

“There’s a shop, opposite Denis’ flat. I went in on the off chance, I thought maybe the staff would remember seeing him or something… It turned out the old man who used to own it, his daughter runs it now, is a bit of a hoarder…”

“Dani is on that?” Eyes locking onto the tape, the plain black cassette suddenly seeming like a beacon of light into a mystery, Alex looked at Hector, almost pleadingly, “Is he ok? The police said he could have been abducted, or injured or…”

“He’s fine,” Hector felt awful, never having considered having **this** kind of conversation with Alex, “He’s completely fine.”

“What is he doing?”

“He’s getting in a car, with some stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” Confused Alex frowned, looking between the two older men, desperate for answers, “What kind of stuff Hector?”

“Bags, and a suitcase.”

“What?”

“Raul brings the car, a hire car I think, and Dani brings a bag out of Denis’ house. When they put it in the boot you can see a suitcase and another bag.”

“Then what happens?”

“Then Dani hugs Denis, then Raul and then he gets in the car…”

“What happens then?” Tears escaping from his eyes, Alex sniffed, “What happens then?”

“Then,” Hector looked to Emilio, both of them sharing a look, feeling like they’d made a bad situation a million times worse, “Then Dani drives away.”

“He drives away?”

“Yes.”

“Himself?”

“Yes.”

“Not hurt?”

“No, not hurt.”

“Not kidnapped?”

“No, Alex…”

“He left me…” Tears on his cheeks Alex’s face crumpled, “Nothing terrible happened, no-one took him, no-one killed him, he just left me…”

“Alex…” Emilio stepped forward, stopping when the younger man stepped back, his hands going inside his sleeves, his head shaking from side-to-side.

“He left me,” Dropping down to his knees, three years of worry overwhelming him, three years of bottling it up and lashing out at everyone flooding free, Alex howled like an injured animal, “He left me.”


	10. Dani

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still loving it. Still glad you are reading it.

“Ready?”

Standing next to the door that separated the bar from Morwenna’s family home Dani smiled, squeezing her hand, “Yep. Don’t be nervous…”

“I can’t help it,” Morwenna laughed softly, “I just hope they don’t grill you too much.”

Leaning in, Dani place a kiss on her forehead, a soft, almost intimate gesture, lowering his voice to protect them from any listening ears, “It’ll be fine. We’ll get through this, you’ll come and stay with me for a few days and then next week you’ll be in Europe.”

“I worry about how they’ll be when you come back…” Morwenna closed her eyes, Dani’s forehead coming to rest on hers, “I don’t want to make your life more difficult.”

“You won’t,” Dani reassured her, his voice soft and lilting, “The two weeks I’m going to spend away from here is the first time I’ve braved leaving here for three years… And I don’t mind what grief I get… Living in a goldfish bowl is hideous, I know, so I’m happy to help you escape for a while.”

“I wish you would come with me,” Her voice barely a whisper, Morwenna felt him freeze, her hands on his waist, “It’s ok Xav, I know you can’t.”

Sensing her nerves about the meal building, and his carefully honed senses telling him someone was watching them, Dani leant in, the kiss on the lips soft, gentle, tender almost, meaning something despite not meaning what the observer assumed it meant, “Come on, they’ll lynch me if we’re late.”

*

“Oh dear!” Dani chuckled, patting Morwenna on the arm, “I’m sure millions of children in the world have accidentally called their teacher Mum…”

Scowling, Morwenna shook her head, “Thanks for that one Dad…”

“You are welcome…” Beaming a smile at his daughter Tristan, the jolly landlord of the pub, laughed, “What about you Xavier, did you enjoy school?”

“Not really,” Dani shrugged honestly, “I wasn’t really academic. Some subjects I was good at, but others not so much.”

“Like writing?”

“Dad,” Morwenna’s tone was warning, “You promised no interrogations…”

“It’s fine,” Dani smiled, patting Morwenna’s hand, the little gestures between them making her mother smile, “Yes, I liked writing at school.”

“Do you have family Xavier? Siblings?” Joining the questioning for the first time, probably wondering about competition for favourite grandparents in the future, Morwenna’s mother grinned, “What do your parents do?”

“We’re not a big family,” Floundering, not used to lying about his family, not used to talking about them, Dani decided the truth would be easier to remember than a lie, “My father is a mechanic and my mother a teacher. I have one younger brother, he’s a mechanic too.”

“Do you see them often?”

“Every now and again,” Dani smiled, his manner pleasant and affable, “You really must give me your recipe for this stew, it is divine…”

“It was my mother’s,” Proudly smiling, Morwenna’s mother patted his hand, “Morwenna can cook it even better than I…”

“Oh really,” Turning to his pretend girlfriend Dani raised an eyebrow, “I was lead to believe that someone was a terrible cook…”

“Well…” Morwenna giggled, shrugging her shoulders, before leaning into Dani’s side, the two of them utterly relaxed together, almost perfect apart from one to details, “You are such a good cook it would have been a shame to steal a turn from you…”

“Well I know who is cooking on Tuesday…”

“Thanks Mum!” Morwenna laughed, closing her eyes as Dani kissed her forehead, “I’ll have to try and remember how to make it.”

“Yeah,” Dani laughed, prodding her side, “You will!”

*

“We’re very nervous about it,” Morwenna’s mother was gripping her dessert spoon so tight her knuckles were white, “It’s so far away…”

Dani smiled kindly, “She’ll be fine, I promise you.”

“You’ll look after her? I mean she’s never been anywhere for more than a week…”

“ _She_ is still here you know…” Morwenna chuckled, shaking her head at her mother’s blush, “I’m a capable adult…”

“I know you are love,” Morwenna’s mother smiled, tears glistening in her eyes at the prospect of her baby girl leaving, “It’s just so far away.”

“She’s a sensible girl,” Dani rolled his eyes at Morwenna sticking her tongue out, laughing softly, “Well sometimes… She will be fine, she’ll make friends instantly and she’ll love it.”

“I will,” Morwenna grinned, almost counting the days until she could escape, “I really will.”

*

“Hey…” Turning to Morwenna, dishtowel in his hand, her washing and him drying, Dani smiled, his voice low so that it sounded like he didn’t want to be heard, “Do you want to come to mine tonight?”

“It’s not our day Xavier…”

“Well…” Wrapping his arms around her waist, able to see her parents observing them reflected in the glass crockery cabinet, but genuinely enjoying the closeness, Dani smiled, leaning in to nibble gently on her neck, “There’s no law that says you can only stay on certain days…”

“Xav…” Her voice almost a whisper, Morwenna bit her lip, “I’m a bit worried we’ve have too much wine to be sensible.”

“I’m always sensible,” Leaning in to kiss her, his tongue gently pushing at her bottom lip, Dani smiled at the low sigh from her, “We’re friends… I trust you, you trust me…”

“And neither of us have had sex for a year?”

“Pretty much…”

“So, you’re suggesting we offer each other a helping hand?”

“So to speak…” Dani bit his lip, the knawing in his stomach making each day harder, just craving someone to hold, someone to touch, just for a short time, getting worse, “Please…”

“Ok,” Morwenna nodded before leaning in, the kiss more genuine, tongues tangling, “I’m going to go and stay at Xav’s tonight…”

*

 “You ok?” Curled up in Dani’s bed, both naked, drunk hands having helped the other find that place, names cried out as kisses swallowed moans, satisfying, but not intimate or special, Morwenna smiled, the blanket pulled up to her chin, Dani’s arm wrapped around her, her head on his shoulder, “Xav?”

“Dani…” Kissing her forehead, that moment feeling eerily similar to his last moments with Alex, knowing he was going to be completely alone again soon, for an unknown amount of time, Dani needed to be himself, just for a while, “My name is Dani.”

 


	11. Brothers

“Alex…” Opening the door of his Andorran home Marc was genuinely stunned, his brother not having crossed his threshold for over two years, not a word spoken in that time, his younger brother making it plain he hated him, “Cccome in. Are you ok?”

Not moving from the step, his voice forcing out the words, Alex could barely bring himself to look at his brother, “Why didn’t you tell me what you actually fought with Dani about?”

“Hector…” Marc leant against the doorframe, regret written across his face, “I didn’t want to make a bad situation even worse for you…”

Pushing past his brother, his tone almost devoid of emotion, Alex stomped into the lounge, “I want to know **exactly** what was said…”

“Ok,” Closing the door, knowing he had one final chance to fix things with his brother, Marc followed him in, “Have a seat, do you want a drink?”

*

“How are you?” Sitting on the sofa opposite his brother, placing a bottle of water for each of them on the table, Marc winced at the sharp look, realising that Alex wasn’t there to fix things with him, he was only interested in Dani, “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know what happened.”

“We were both drinking, I was pretty drunk. Dani said he was going to check on Jorge and we rowed.”

“So you knew before then that Dani and Jorge used to be a thing?”

“Yeah, everyone did…” Seeing his brother bristle Marc’s heart sank, “Sorry, I thought…”

“Whatever,” Alex sniffed, his chest hurting at the idea of everyone knowing and him being the only idiot in the paddock who didn’t, “What did you say?”

“Well…” Marc paused, closing his eyes, “Hector already told you…”

“I want to hear it from you…”

“Nakamoto was going to ruin you…” Marc’s voice was pleading for forgiveness, “Jorge was the world champion and Ducati had chased him for so long he’d have been fine, Dani would have found another ride easily, you… You were trying **so** hard, so, so hard, and you’d signed again with VDS…”

“Just tell me what you said to him Marc,” Curt, Alex had a tone that would have been unimaginable in 2016, never as exuberant as his elder brother, but the harshness that had taken over his manner since Dani disappeared completely unexpected by everyone.

“We rowed about him going to see Jorge,” Marc took a deep breath, realising he was quite probably about to 100% lose his brother forever, his voice cracking, “Dani was so adamant that you could all deal with the fallout from being outed, that teams would be nervous about being seen as homophobic so you’d be ok… But he was worried about Jorge. Mentally. He just kept talking about Jorge and how much he’d struggle, and he didn’t mention you. He said you’d be ok. I thought you were going to get hurt at some point… So… I figured… I thought… I thought you’d be better to be hurt, but with your career still intact…”

“So?”

“So I told Dani about 2011. I told him about the plate smashing and the college applications and everything…”

Looking at his brother, first with a look of confusion, Alex’s face slowly changed, his eyes darkening as he realised what Marc had done, “You told him that was me?”

“Hector didn’t tell you?”

Furious, his fists balled so tight his nails dug into his palms, Alex stuttered, “You told him that was me?”

“Yeah,” Shame faced, genuinely ashamed and remorseful, Marc bit his lip, his eyes going glassy, “I thought… I thought I was protecting you. I thought he’d cool it off, Nakamoto would calm down and everything would work itself out in the end… I really, really thought that.”

“Well,” His voice ice cold Alex stood up, no emotion on his face whatsoever, as if he had nothing left to care about, “You thought wrong.”

“Alex…” Jumping up as his brother walked out, not stomping, not crying, just walking away, like there was nothing left in the building for him, Marc had tears streaming down his face, “Alex please… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Clicking the button on his remote, Alex opened the car door, not turning around, just looking ahead at the view from Marc’s carefully chosen house, “So am I.”

*

“Alex, this is Emilio. Call me please.”

*

“Hey, it’s Hector, call me back.”

*

“It’s Emilio again, call me.”

*

“Alex, it’s your father, please call us.”

*

“It’s Hector again, please call me mate.”

*

“Hey! It’s Guille. Do you fancy a bike ride tomorrow?”

*

“Alex, it’s Emilio **again**. Please call me.”

*

“It’s Mama, please let me know you are ok.”

*

“Hang on,” Julia held his hand up, the impromptu meeting being held around the kitchen table in Cervera, “You are telling me that for all of this time Raul, Raul who came here and hugged Alex, Raul who told him Dani would want him to go on, Raul who Alex trusted knew that Dani had left of his own accord?”

“Yes,” Hector nodded, “It appears that way.”

“And Eric? Antonio? Basilia?”

“No,” Hector shook his head, feeling like he’d somehow ripped the plaster off a wound he couldn’t possible fix, “Eric knew they’d lied about him being at Ramon’s that morning, but he thinks that was simply to protect Dani, Alex and Jorge from the media shitstorm that would have ensued.”

“That sort-of makes sense I suppose,” Roser shook her head, her phone in her hand, eyes constantly on it, willing it to ring or beep, “But all this time? That’s just… cruel.”

“And you lied?” Turning to his eldest son, Julia raise an eyebrow, too confused to know if he should be angry, disappointed or supportive, “Why would you lie to Dani about your brother? You know how much Alex loved, loves, Dani…”

“I know,” Wiping his face with his sleeves, occasional tears leaking from his eyes, Marc looked about twelve, “I’m sorry. I just… I could just see Alex’s career going and… I was drunk and I didn’t know Dani would do this, I didn’t, I just wanted to protect Alex’s career.”

“You thought Alex should split from Dani to protect his career?”

“Yes Mama,” Marc nodded, aware the words that were about to come from his mother were going to sting, “I know it wasn’t my place to decide that.”

“No,” Roser shook her head, her voice kind, but offering him no get out clause, “It wasn’t.”

*

“Alex it’s your father. Please let your mother and I know that you are ok.”

*

“Mate, it’s Hector again, everyone is worried. Just a text or something…”

*

“Alex, baby, please let me and your Dad know that you are ok. I know that you are hurting very much and I’m not going to pester you to come home if you don’t want too, but please, _please_ , just let me know that you are ok.

*

“I need to speak to you.”

Yawning, the banging on his front door waking him up, Eric’s heart jumped, “Is it Dani? Do you know where he is? Have you found him?”

“I guess that answers my question about you knowing where he is…” Alex shook his head, stood on the doorstep in shorts and a t-shirt despite the fact it was 11.30pm and the air was chilly, “I need to talk to you about a couple of things.”

Unsure what Alex could have to say, unable to remember the last time they shared a conversation, Alex having cut himself off from everyone after Dani vanished, Eric nodded, stepping aside to let him in, “Sure.”

*

“Alex it’s Marc. I stole your number from Hector’s phone while he was in the bathroom. I know you probably hate me, and I understand that, but please call Mama. She’s crying and she’s scared. Please.”

*

“Where did you get this?” Eyeing the police report suspiciously, Eric sighed, knowing Dani would want him to protect Alex, “Please tell me you’ve not started paying that PI again? Alex, he was shit.”

“I know he was. Hector got it. I don’t know where from, I didn’t know he was doing it…” Alex turned to the page listing Dani’s friends and acquaintances, “You filled this bit in, yes?”

“Yeah,” Eric nodded, reaching over the sofa to grab a jumper from the radiator.

“Why did you not list Marc?” Watching Eric’s face closely, unable to decide how deep Dani’s brother was in the hole with Raul, hoping the hours they’d spent together combing the streets of Barcelona, following up every online rumoured sighting together for months, hadn’t been a complete lie, “Why did you leave him out?”

“They rowed,” Shifting uncomfortably, knowing the row between the brothers had left them both broken hearted, even if Alex had never admitted that, “I wasn’t sure what Marc would say. We, Raul and me and Denis, had decided not to tell the police about you and Dani at that point. I figured they’d call round his friends, find him and it wouldn’t matter.”

“Really?” Sceptical, unsure who he could trust and who he couldn’t, Alex bit on his lip, “Do you know that Raul knows? He knows that Dani left himself, he drove away.”

“What?!” Almost falling from the sofa Eric shook his head, “No way… He wouldn’t do that.”

“Hector has a video. From CCTV,” Alex sniffed, fighting back tears, “Raul drove a car to Denis’ then Dani got in it and drove away…”

“No, Raul wouldn’t do that. He sat with my Mum and he held her while she cried… He wouldn’t do that.”

“He would, he did,” Taking out his phone, having recorded the footage the tenth time he had made Hector play it at Emilio’s, Alex swiped the screen, “Look…”

*

“Alex this is your mother. Please let me know you are not dead in a ditch somewhere. **Please**.”

*

Alex                          I’m fine Mama, please do not worry x

Mama                       Where are you? Are you ok? X

Alex                          I’m fine, I promise x

Mama                       Where are you baby? X

Alex                          I’m going to find Dani x

Mama                       What does that mean? Where are you? Where are you going? X

Alex                          I’ll call you soon x

Mama                       Please call me now Alex X

Mama                       Alex? X

Mama                       Alex please call me X

Mama                       Be careful baby, please X

*

“Next please!”

Strolling up to the desk Alex smiled, “Can I have a ticket to Geneva please?”

“Make that two tickets,” Dumping his bag down on the floor next to Alex’s Eric smiled, “We were a good team last time we searched…  I know the code for Raul’s gate…”

Alex nodded, the smile on his face genuine, “Yeah we did. Two to Geneva please.”

 


	12. Elisabetta

“We could come in with you, have a coffee…”

“No Mum, you’ll make me cry if you do that…” Morwenna wrapped her mother in a warm hug, her parents driving her and Dani to Newquay Airport, “I love you and I’ll see you soon.”

“Ok dear. Be careful, and have fun!”

“We will, I’ll send you a postcard,” Turning to her father, him having almost broken Dani’s hand with the firmest of firm handshakes, “See you soon Dad.”

“Make sure your phone is always charged and you’ve got some Euros for the phone box,” Tristan kissed his daughter’s cheek, “You look after our girl Xavier.”

“I will,” Dani smiled before hugging her mother, “I’ll keep her right.”

“Good good” Lifting their bags out of the boot Tristan shut it with a thump, “Right then.”

“Go on, you head off, no point in you getting charged for being here longer than a drop off. I’ll ring you tonight from the hotel.”

“Bye!” Putting his arm around Morwenna’s waist, trying to ignore the fact that the airport, despite being tiny, was riskiest part of their plan, “Come on you, let’s go get you checked in.”

*

Sitting in the coffee shop with his back to the rest of the tables Dani chuckled, “You are like a kid at Christmas!”

“I’m **so** excited!” Morwenna laughed, unbothered by her over-exuberance, “What will you do?”

Dani smiled, “I’ve got a taxi booked, it’ll take me to the cottage.”

“I really feel like I should be paying for that…”

Dani shook his head, patting her hand, “Nonsense. It’ll be nice to get away for a bit.”

“What will you do for two weeks?”

“The cottage is called Otter Cottage so during the day I’ll have my camera set up and at night there’s a telescope for star spotting.”

“Thank you,” Her eyes glistening with tears, leaving Dani genuinely a wrench, but mostly because of the gratitude, Morwenna smiled, “You’ve made escaping for a while possible.”

Taking her hand, their fingers lacing together, Dani smiled, his eyes stinging a little, “Thank you for making escaping fun.”

“I wish you could come with me…”

“Maybe one day.”

“Yeah,” Morwenna nodded, knowing in her heart he’d never do that, wondering if the beautiful boy with the wide brown eyes would ever stop haunting Dani enough to make venturing into the world again possible, “They’ve put my gate up…”

Standing up, pulling her into a warm hug, Dani smiled, stepping back to fix her jacket, “There’s a big world out there Morwenna Penrose, you go out there and grab it with both hands…”

“I will…” Morwenna closed her eyes as Dani gently wiped a tear from her cheek, “I hope they don’t give you too much grief…”

“I’ll be fine,” Dani smiled, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips, chaste, warm, a fitting goodbye for them, “You’ve got my email address…”

“Yeah. And I’ll text you when I get to my hotel.”

“Go on then, they’ve put your gate up…”

“Bye Dani.”

“Bye Morwenna.”

*

 Looking through the telescope, the first clear night in five since he’d arrived at the quaint little cottage, Dani felt a lump forming in his throat, a memory creeping into his head.

_“I don’t know anything like that…”_

_Sensing Alex’s lack of confidence Dani kissed his head, catching him just next to his ear, “That’s because you actually have friends… I know the constellations because when I was your age my only friend was Puig…”_

_“Poor you,” Alex chuckled, lying on his back on the cold tiles of Dani’s Geneva roof garden, “It’s so quiet here...”_

_Rolling onto his side, just watching the younger man for a few seconds, Dani smiled, his voice soft, “If you like it here you should come more often.”_

_“I should come more often should I?” Rolling onto his side to face Dani, smirking at Dani’s rolling eyes, Alex grinned, a cold hand snaking out to wrap around Dani’s waist, chilly fingers sneaking under his shirt, “I like that idea…”_

_Dani shuffled closer, reaching out to cup Alex’s face, the way the younger man’s eye fluttered shut as Dani’s fingers brushed his cheek making Dani smile as he leant in, his mouth close enough that he could feel Alex’s warm breath on his lip, “I’m not averse to the idea either…”_

_Closing the gap, Dani too slow for his impatience, Alex sighed softly as Dani’s warm lips pressed onto his, his cock instantly taking notice when Dani’s tongue pressed into his mouth, insistent and needy, their relationship long enough now that he knew what it meant, meaning Dani was going to kiss him until he was a whimpering mess, before they’d properly take advantage of the privacy, kissing and touching and fucking without a care for anyone noticing, like a normal couple, a million miles away from the daily need to be a secret._

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 18 th August 2020 11:01**

**Subject: Benvenuto in Italia**

Wasn’t keen on Paris. Too many tourists lol. So in the spirit of just doing whatever I want to do I got on the night train and I’m now in Milan.

*

  **To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 18 th August 2020 12:52**

**Subject: RE: Benvenuto in Italia**

Hey! Good on you! Enjoy the freedom.

I’m thinking of stealing this cottage. It’s so peaceful, but has the most amazing Jacuzzi bath.

*

**To: winkbarlamorna@btnet.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 23rd August 2020 09:47**

**Subject: Sunny Italia**

Good morning parentals!

Having a fab time. Stamps are expensive here so consider this your postcard!

We’ve taken a wander to Venice. I’m off to the beach this afternoon with some new friends I’ve made – two Spanish girls and their crazy Irish friend.

Xav’s got a problem with work, a deadline needs meeting (my fault for pestering him to bring trip forward!) so he’s staying in the hotel.

Love ya x

*

**To: winkbarlamorna@btnet.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 26th August 2020 14:23**

**Subject: Rimini**

Hey!

We’ve moved again. Rimini is beautiful. The beaches remind me of home, but with actual warm sun!

Our friends have come to Rimini too so we’re having a ball.

Xav is having a nightmare of a time L His boss is refusing to help him with a deadline. He might have to come home for a week. Bless him, he’s trying so hard to juggle everything.

Love ya x

*

**To: winkbarlamorna@btnet.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 30th August 2020 10:01**

**Subject: Xav**

Hi

I need a favour. Xav has to come home for a week to sort some work out. Can you please keep an eye on him? Maybe make sure he eats?

He’s been in tears here. I’ve been telling him though that I’ll be fine with the girls we’ve made friends with. I might have even picked up a job here! (That’s why I’m not coming home with him). It’s only a week so please help him.

Love ya x

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 26th August 2020 14:25**

**Subject: Parentals**

They are aware of your return. Asked them to look after you. Hope you’ve got your acting face on for when I dump you ;)

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 26th August 2020 14:25**

**Subject: RE: Parentals**

Hey chick. Cool, I’ve got a taxi booked for tomorrow afternoon. I’m practising my tears ;)

How’s Rimini?

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 26th August 2020 15:01**

**Subject: RE: RE: Parentals**

You better be proper heartbroken – I’m a big loss ;)

Rimini is amazing. Pretty beaches, sunny weather, and the women…………

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 26th August 2020 15:07**

**Subject: RE: RE: RE: Parentals**

My tears are endless…

Enjoy the women ;) And the weather, of course.

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 26th August 2020 15:13**

**Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Parentals**

So they should be.

I am. I **really** am…

*

Standing in his kitchen he wasn’t surprised to hear the gate creak open. His bag dumped on the worktop, papers quickly spread around, he ruffled his own hair and headed for the door, the thumping knock not unexpected, “Tristan, hi.”

“Xavier,” Sent by his wife to do as Morwenna asked, Tristan tried to hide his unhappiness, feeling like Dani had abandoned his daughter, “Just wanted to check you got back alright.”

Leaning against the doorframe, Tristan obviously not coming in, Dani sighed, “Yeah, flight was a little delayed, but…”

“So you’ll be home for a week or?”

Dani smiled, in a way that showed he was annoyed at the development, “Well I’ve told Morwenna a week, but I’m hoping if I work longer hours than usual I’ll be able to get back in four or five days.”

“That’d be good,” Tristan frowned, “I’m not sure I like her there on her own. She’s never been away from home before.”

“I know,” Biting his lip, looking like it was remorse, Dani shook his head, “I’m really sorry, I tried to persuade her to come back with me, but she has been offered a week’s work and she was really enjoying it.”

“She knows her own mind,” Tristan laughed, feeling the need to make Dani feel less bad, “Well lad I’ll let you get on. Come up to the pub for your dinner one night, the good lady would like that.”

“I will do, thanks.”

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 27th August 2020 18:22**

**Subject: Your father…**

…chopped me into tiny pieces and fed me to Mrs Edgar’s dog ;)

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 27th August 2020 18:31**

**Subject: RE: Your father…**

Oh dear… I shall mourn you for a long time (or at least until 8pm when I’m meeting Elisabetta on the beach)

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 27th August 2020 18:38**

**Subject: RE: RE: Your father…**

Have fun… I’m sure you will

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 28th August 2020 11:01**

**Subject: Fun with Elisabetta…**

I did ;)

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 6 th September 2020 14:01**

**Subject: Parentals**

I’m just about to email them, and you, to break the news.

I expect you to be suitably heartbroken ;)

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**CC: winkbarlamorna@btnet.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 6 th September 2020 14:10**

**Subject: Italy**

Hi Xav

I’m sorry to do this by email, but I don’t think I could do it by phone. I’ve been having such fun this week and I’ve realised that I need to do some of this trip on my own.

We’ve had such good fun for this past year, and I hope one day we can have fun again, but I think I need to see a bit of the world, meet some different people and experience new things before I make the decision to settle down with someone.

Thank you for encouraging me to come to Europe, to see the world. I’m very sorry that it has led to this.

I hope one day we can be friends again.

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 9 th September 2020 19:17**

**Subject: Aaargh**

Parents are deeply unimpressed. They think I’ve treated you badly. I think my mother will probably bring you a pie…

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 9 th September 2020 19:22**

**Subject: RE: Aaargh**

They’ll get over it. As long as you are having fun that’s all that counts. I’ll make sure I look suitably sad ;)

What are your plans? Is it this week you leave Rimini for Switzerland?

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 9 th September 2020 19:55**

**Subject: RE: RE: Aaargh**

I am, so thank you.

Originally had planned to leave. Elisabetta gave me a ticket for an event this weekend. Says you can’t come to here without going to this one so staying until Tuesday.

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 9 th September 2020 20:01**

**Subject: RE: RE: RE: Aaargh**

I’m glad you are seeing the world.

Oh yeah, what’s the event? Music?

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 9 th September 2020 20:11**

**Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Aaargh**

I’m mostly seeing Elisabetta tbh ;)

Something to do with bikes. MotoGP? I don’t know anything about it, but she says that it’s amazing. I shall report back on Monday!


	13. Misano

“You ok?”

Standing in front of the window, Eric having let them into Dani’s house, Alex nodded, staring off into the distance, not focussed on the twinkly lights around the lake, but on the memories the place was invoking, “Yeah…”

“So, we go and see Raul tomorrow?”

Alex nodded, turning back to Eric, gratefully accepting the offered beer, “Yeah, you were right, best to put a plan together properly before we see him.”

“I was thinking,” Eric sat on the edge of the sofa, perching on the arm in a way Dani would have rowed him for, “If Dani is living somewhere else because he thinks that is protecting everyone then he must be using money somehow.”

“Yeah, there must be a bank account the police missed…”

“They never opened his filing cabinet…”

“What?”

“The big filing cabinet in his office,” Eric tilted his head upwards, gesturing toward Dani’s office, “They searched the house for him, and glanced over a few things, but they never actually went through the filing cabinet.”

“So there could be more bank accounts we don’t know about?”

“Yeah…” Standing up, Eric puffed out his cheeks, “Shall we?”

*

“Here’s another one…” Eric pulled a sheet of paper out of a file, “UBS?”

Scanning the police report Alex shook his head, “There’s no UBS account on here…”

“He didn’t seem to use it much,” Sat on the floor of Dani’s office, cross legged and surrounded by paper, Eric flicked through the folder, “Just one or two investments seem to pay into it each year.”

Writing down the account detail on the notepad they’d decided they needed, Alex shrugged, “It’s something.”

“Yeah,” Putting the sheets back in the folder, Eric opened the next file and chuckled, “Dani may not have kept his trophies or awards… But he did keep some frankly **shocking** PR pics from the early days…”

Taking one of the photos Eric held out to him Alex guffawed, “That is…. Bloody hell!”

*

Holding a bundle of certificates Eric frowned, “He really did invest money in all sorts of things!”

“He did,” Alex laughed, Dani having shares in about eight different electric companies somehow amusing, “I don’t think there’s anything in here…”

Eric sighed, “Me neither, everything is from before Janua… Wait…”

“What?” Watching Eric scrabble through the paper mountain surrounding them Alex frowned in confusion, “What are you looking for?”

Flinging files aside Eric was almost frantic as he searched through the bundles, “The UBS file…”

“It’s somewhere near the bottom, why?”

“January 12th…”

“What?”

“The date, on the statement,” Scrabbling through the pile faster, sheets of paper kicking up into the air as he launched them aside, Eric looked at Alex, “January 12th… January 12th!”

“That’s after…” Joining the frantic search, both of them cursing the amount of paperwork that Dani had kept neatly in his cabinet, it all now strewn around the room, Alex held up a green folder, “Here it is!”

“Look!” Pulling out the last statement, one statement per quarter for the past six weeks neatly stored, Eric pointed at the date, as if Alex’s eyes weren’t locked onto it, “ **January 12 th! **Someone else filed this. And look! Look!”

“January 8th…” Alex’s eyes read the transaction over and over again, “Heathrow Airport…”

“He’s still alive…” Eric’s eyes filled with tears, remembering back to the nights that he and Alex had trawled the streets, both of them taking every free hour for weeks to search, usually together, both of them fearing finding a body more and more as the days passed, “He’s still alive…”

*

“Why did nobody turn the internet off?”

Sitting on Dani’s chair, in front of Dani’s PC, Eric shrugged, “Mama wanted it left on for when he came back… It’s not like he’s going ot run out of money soon…”

“True,” Perched on the edge of the desk, waiting for the PC to boot up, Alex nodded toward it, “If that hadn’t been turned on for three years there would be a gazillion updates…”

Eric nodded, getting entirely what Alex meant, “Yeah… Right… Here we go…”

“Fingers crossed for saved password…”

Nodding in agreement Eric clicked on the little logo on the screen, waiting for the browser to open before he went into Dani’s bookmarks, both of them smiling as the UBS link was the top of the list. Selecting it Eric’s heart raced as the page loaded, the green ‘ _internet login’_ button screaming out at him as he moved the mouse to click on it, “It’s there…”

“Fuck…” Seeing the little dots, showing Dani’s account number and password were saved, Alex’s palms went clammy. Taking a breath, he forced his voice to be calm, “It might be nothing… It might just be those investments paying in twice a year…”

Eric nodded, his finger hovering over the mouse button, a million thoughts running through his head as he clicked on it, “It might be.”

*

Eric                  Hey. Just to let you know – me and Alex are at Dani’s. Going back to Spain tomorrow. Just in case you see the lights on.

Raul                 Everything ok?

Eric                  Yeah fine. Hector has been on some weird mission to try and find Dani. It upset Alex. He just wanted to be close to Dani for a bit.

Raul                 Ah right. He involved in the searching?

Eric                  No. I think he was going too, but he’s said that if we were going to find him we’d have found him by now. He says it’s time to let go.

Raul                 I think he’s right. He’s been letting it ruin him for so long. Dani wouldn’t want that.

Eric                  I know. I think he’s right. I know Mama will always scan crowds, but it’s time to let him go.

Raul                 It’s hard mate, we’ll never forget him. Just knock if either of you need anything.

*

Alex                I want you to stop looking for Dani. It’s time to let him go.

Hector             I don’t understand. What about the video?

Alex                The video shows that Dani wanted to leave. So we need to respect his wishes.

Hector             Are you sure?

Alex                It’s breaking my heart, but I think it’s time. We all need to move on.

*

Alex                I’ll be home tomorrow Mama. I just needed some time. I’ve decided it’s time to let Dani go. I’m heartbroken that he left me, but he did. Time to move on.

Mama              I love you very much. See you tomorrow x

Alex                I love you too Mama. Tell Papa I love him too x

*

Alex                It’ll be a very long time, if ever, that I forgive you. However, for Mama’s sake I’m prepared to be civil. We don’t need to have the rota anymore. If you are at their house at the same time as me I’ll be polite. I don’t want to chat to you. I don’t want to go for a beer or go skiing. I’m not your friend, but for Mama’s sake I’ll build a bridge.

Marc                Thank you. I’ll do my best to make your life easier. If you need help, or cash, to search for Dani then I’ll do whatever I can. I love you x

Alex                It’s time to let Dani go. He chose to leave and I need to respect that.

*

Eric                  Good luck at Misano. I’ve booked a hire car. I’ll see you at the airport.

Alex                See you next Friday.

*

Sitting on his bed in his motorhome Alex pulled the, now crumpled, sheet of paper out of his wallet, it printed out in Dani's house, he and Eric staring at the screen for an age when the details came up, their first proper clue, Dani feeling closer than he had for three long years. Staring at it for a few minutes he shook his head sadly, “Why? Why all this time… Please stick to the last Thursday of the month...”

 

Date

| 

Description

| 

 Amount

| 

 Balance  
  
---|---|---|---  
  
**Balance brought forward**

| 

**€        14,582.60**  
  
28/03/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        13,982.60  
  
25/04/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        13,382.60  
  
60/05/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        12,782.60  
  
01/06/2016

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        12,182.60  
  
02/09/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        11,582.60  
  
26/09/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        10,982.60  
  
31/10/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €        10,382.60  
  
28/11/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          9,782.60  
  
27/12/2019

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          9,182.60  
  
30/01/2020

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          8,582.60  
  
01/02/2020

| 

DPRSWISS LTD

| 

 €          3,239.50

| 

 €        11,822.10  
  
01/03/2022

| 

Cornwall Council

| 

-€         3,239.50

| 

 €          8,582.60  
  
26/03/2020

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          7,982.60  
  
23/04/2020

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          7,382.60  
  
28/05/2020

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          6,782.60  
  
29/05/2020

| 

Barclays Plymouth03

| 

-€             600.00

| 

 €          6,182.60  
  
 

*

"Who is that?" Standing in front of the merchandise stall Morwenna's jaw was almost on the floor.

"Pretty, huh? Not your type though..." Elisabetta wiggled her eyebrows, laughing as she leant in to steal a kiss from her, "Alex Marquez, used to be a great hope for the sport. Bit of a has been now."

"Since when?" Transfixed as she looked at the photo Morwenna felt like her feet were buried in concrete.

"Three years or so. He had a horrific accident in testing. Injuries were terrible, they thought he might die... He's never been the same since."

"Three years?"

"Yeah, February. You ok?"

"Yeah," Morwenna smiled, hoping she was as convincing a liar as Dani, "I'm fine. Let's go get food."

*

“Well Gavin, I’m not sure what to say about that…”

“Me neither Julian, me neither. An absolutely **stunning** first day at Misano. Alex Marquez, in his **sixth** season in Moto2, his career devastated by the horrific injuries he sustained in a crash in pre-season testing back in 2017, has just topped the session. The bike he is on, a private team, funded by a mis-mash of sponsors, is far from the best bike, his crew is a hotch-potch bunch of people, some working for him because they can’t get a job elsewhere, some because they have a strong loyalty to the young man who showed so much promise when he won the Moto3 title in 2014.”

“It’s just come from nowhere. He has crashed more than any other rider this season and since he finished up with MarcVDS at the end of last season, Marc Van Der Straten showing immense loyalty to the young rider despite a terrible 2018 season, he’s done nothing. He has looked, on and off track, like a shadow of his former self. Yet today he has just taken a full second out of the pack…”

"Something has certainly sparked him to life this weekend..."

 


	14. Aragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not particularly happy with this one, but it's sort of a transition chapter.

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 11 th September 2020 23:12**

**Subject: Stuff**

I know why you haven’t replied since I said I was coming to MotoGP.

I met him on the pit walk, he signed my cap. He’s beautiful, I get now why you are not over him.

I didn’t say anything. I assume you left because of his fame? I can understand that. I’m sure there would have been another way, but I do understand it.

I miss you. Don’t shut me out x

*

Staring at Morwenna’s email, tears streaming down his face, Dani heard the sob that must have escaped from his throat. Pushing his iPad aside he pulled his knees up to his chest, tugging the blanket that lived on his sofa around him, wanting and needing to curl up. Resting his head on the arm of the chair as the tears took over him he only had one face in his brain. Alex. His Alex. He was desperate to ask her how he was. Was he in MotoGP? Had he won Moto2? Had he thrown Marc anymore crazy title parties? Did he miss Dani as much as Dani missed him? Had he met someone else? Questions going round and round in his brain, opening a wound he’d managed to ignore for years.

*

_“Hey, you ok?” Taking a seat at the back of the MVDS hospitality, ostensibly a smoking area, but mostly used as an escape due to the lack of smokers, Dani frowned, concerned, “Alex?”_

_Shrugging, his hoodie over his hands, cap pulled low, Alex sighed, “I just can’t do it Dani. Every time I think I’m getting to grips with this bike it just…”_

_“You’ll get it,” Confident, and convinced, Dani smiled, laughed at the rolling eyes he got back in return from the younger man, “Everyone saying that, huh?”_

_Nodding, cringing massively at rolling his eyes at Dani, that doing nothing to make him feel less like a child in the presence of his hero, Alex nodded, “Yeah, pretty much.”_

_“Believe them then,” Dani smiled, taking a sip of his beer, 2015 going too badly to be worried about the impact of one beer on a Wednesday night, “Trust me, people will soon let you know if they don’t think you are good enough.”_

_“You’re more than good enough,” Alex blushed slightly, his sentence coming our louder than he meant, “Seriously Dani, you are one of the best riders in this paddock.”_

_“Always the bridesmaid…” Dani chuckled ruefully, shrugging, “I shouldn’t complain. I’ve made a very good living from this sport. I’ll be able to retire in comfort…”_

_“You’re retiring!” Eyes bulging, shocked, Alex’s voice was more like a shriek._

_“Not yet,” Dani winked, standing up, “Need to wait for someone to be ready for my bike first…”_

_Sighing, Dani’s hand on his shoulder burning into his skin, Alex shrugged, “You might be waiting a while.”_

_“That’s alright, I’ve no plans to go anywhere.”_

*

Opening another bottle of wine, one already finished, Dani slid onto the floor, his memory replaying _that_ night, the night the world changed.

_“Happy birthday Dani.”_

_“You leaving” Dani frowned, holding up a bottle of beer, four down already, “I have beer…”_

_Alex laughed softly, stood on the step of Dani’s motorhome, “Double brother retirement, not really a cause for celebrating…”_

_“You could commiserate?”_

_Smiling, Dani’s little pep talks having boosted his confidence, Alex nodded, “Alright, but just a couple. I’m still scared of my Mama!”_

_“I’m scared of your Mama too!” Dani frowned, eyeing the beers, “Maybe I shouldn’t give you any…”_

_“Hand over the beer Pedrosa…”_

*

_“I’m weird?” Dani frowned, five more beers in, not used to drinking that much, “How am I weird?”_

_Shaking his head, so vigorous he almost fell off the sofa, Alex held up his hand, “No, no, no, no! **You’re** not weird, **this** is weird… Because you are Dani Pedrosa… But you are also just Dani… It’s a bit weird.”_

_“I am Dani Pedrosa. That is not weird.”_

_Alex laughed, hard, “You are drunk Dani Pedrosa.”_

_“Me adult. It allowed.”_

_“Oops,” Taking his phone from his pocket, suddenly noticing the vibrations, Alex pulled a face, wide eyed and mock scared, “I have fourteen messages from Marc…”_

_“He just never fucking gives up on **anything!** ”_

_“I know!” Alex shook his head, phone put down and forgotten, puffing out his cheeks, “He’s so competitive! And so bloody nosy! It’s always ‘Have you met a guy Alex?’ or ‘What about that guy, Alex’, he just doesn’t get it!”_

_“Guy?” Dani frowned, surprised, looking at Alex, before putting a hand on the younger man’s arm, Alex’s mouth opening and closing like a goldfish when he realised what he’d done, “It’s ok.”_

_“I… I’m not… I shouldn’t… The paddock…”_

_“I’ll not say anything,” Dani smiled kindly, his hand still on Alex’s arm, “You’re not the only one so don’t worry.”_

_“Huh?” Alex looked confused, before his eyes went wider than they’d ever gone before, the skin of his arm, still under Dani’s hand, going hot and sticky, “You? Seriously?!”_

_“Yeah,” Dani smiled fondly, hoping it was reassuring, “It’s not easy hiding everything, but you get used to it, and there are some people you can trust around.”_

_“Right…” His eyes locked on Dani, Alex bit his lip, his brain processing everything, “Right.”_

_“Why do you keep saying right?”_

_“Well, I just… You know…” Alex closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, “Sorry, I’m acting like a 5-year-old who just discovered the guy he wanks over the most is also gay…”_

_“I don’t think many 5 year olds actually wank…” Dani, drink making him devilish as he caught a flash of red passing the window, “Although Marc probably did, he did everything else super early.”_

_“DANI!” Alex spluttered, all of the tension he’d been holding bursting as he laughed harder than he’d laughed for weeks, each of them setting the other off until they were both on the floor, tears on their faces, ribs hurting, Alex’s voice a squeak, “You can’t say things like that!”_

_“Well,” Buckling again, Alex hanging onto his arm, him hanging onto Alex, Dani couldn’t stop giggling until he noticed Alex, properly noticed him, the eyes wide enough and dark enough to drown in, the jaw just begging to be nibbled on, the long neck with its creamy skin screaming for a mark, the lips that Alex had just licked glistening in the light, the warmth as their faces moved closer, the chill of Alex’s fingers on his side where his t-shirt had ridden up, the softness of his lips as they pressed together, and the taste that would become so familiar as their tongues tangled for the first time._

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 14 th September 2020 06:08**

**Subject: RE: Stuff**

I lefrt becase I’m a dick. A coward an nasty an shit.

Dont be missing me. I not worth midding.

Enjoy the races. It addictiiive.

*

Opening Dani’s email Morwenna’s heart sank, her friend clearly drunk, something he only did when he got really down. Sitting in her hotel room for an hour, her iPad open on a flight booking sight she pondered over and over what to do before clicking on the button, buying the tickets, determined to find out more, hoping Aragon was the place to find it.


	15. Alone

“Just sign here Sir…” The woman behind the desk smiled as Eric handed back the pen, “Are you planning on doing some surfing? You can upgrade to a car with roof bars if you like…”

Eric beamed his best grin as he picked up the keys, “No thanks, I can’t swim…”

“Sorted?” Picking up his backpack as Eric wandered over to him Alex smiled as Eric dangled the keys, “How far is it again?”

Heading through the door, off checking the key to find out which parking bay their hire car was in, Eric yawned, the early start slightly catching up with him, “According to google maps Plymouth is fifty-seven minutes away… Add on another twenty for traffic… Hopefully we’ll be in our hotel by nineish…”

*

Raul                       Hey. How’s things? Your father says you are away somewhere with Alex, everything ok?

Eric                         Yeah it’s fine. He wants to get drunk and rant/cry about Dani just to get it all off his chest. He can’t get drunk at home without 5000000000000 questions and Alzamora getting all Dadish

Raul                       Ah right. He’s definitely letting go then?

Eric                         Yeah, says he needs too. The last sighting on the Facebook page was 2 years ago. He’s gone…

Raul                       You know where I am if you need anything mate

Eric                         Yeah cheers mate

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 15 th September 2020 23:47

 **Subject:** Radiator

Radiator is all fixed. Don’t think the leak will reoccur ever again

*

Laying the map out on the desk, Alex took his notebook and the packet of little red dots out of his bag. Opening the book to the correct page, glancing up briefly as Eric came through the interconnecting door, he searched the map until he found the first address, marking it carefully with a dot, repeating the process until there were thirteen little red dots on the map.

“Done?”

Nodding, his eyes still on the map, Alex closed his notebook, “Yeah, done.”

“So plan for tomorrow?” Perched on the edge of the bed Eric joined Alex in staring at the map, the dots somehow mesmerising.

Alex put his finger on the map, a cluster of little dots all close together, “These ones are all near the railway station and the bus station so I think we should do these ones tomorrow. We can walk from here and then we can have a look at parking and the likes for the rest of the week.”

“How will we know which is which once we’ve taken the money out?”

Tapping his notebook Alex smiled, “I’ve written an amount next to each one in the notebook.”

“So we take a different amount out of each machine?” Eric smiled, Alex most certainly the brains of the operation, “Good idea.”

“We’ll keep it simple. Ten pounds out of the first, twenty out of the second etcetera, just in case any take longer to process and appear online.”

“Now I know why you didn’t bother changing any cash at the airport,” Eric laughed softly, before yawning, “Mind if I call it a night?”

“No,” Alex smiled, glad he had company, “Thanks for indulging this. I know it’s a long shot…”

“It’s the best lead we’ve had in two years…” Patting Alex’s shoulder Eric smiled kindly, “Try and get some sleep.”

“I will,” Kicking off his shoes, everything feeling very alone once the door clicked shut behind Eric, Alex ran his fingers through his hair, not daring to get his hopes up too much, but equally unable to stop himself from being a little bit excited.

*

 **To:** Denis Pazagglini

 **From:** Raul Jara

 **Date:** 16 th September 2020 01:12

 **Subject:** RE: Radiator

How come? Did you find a miracle engineer or something?

*

 **To:** Raul Jara

 **From:** Denis Pazagglini

 **Date:** 16 th September 2020 02:07

 **Subject:** RE: RE: Radiator

Brother and Trouble realised the radiator was long since fucked. Decided it was time to choose a replacement.

*

“Xavier! Xavier are you in there?” Pushing on the door, it not quite shut properly, Arthur wrinkled his nose, the smell hitting him as soon as he poked his head inside, panicking him slightly, “Xavier?!”

“Get out my ‘ouse…”

“Oh,” Pausing, Dani lifting his head from the sofa, his face red, eyes puffy and hair messy giving away how little sleep he’d been having; empty bottles and takeaway boxes giving away the source of the smell, his voice slurry, Arthur tilted his head, his voice kind, “I heard about Morwenna… Would you like to have that cup of tea today son?”

“No!” Dani growled, a wobbly finger pointing at the door, “OUT! Don’t like tea. Never like fucking tea. Leamealone!”

“Ok,” Nodding, Arthur put the single letter he was carrying for Dani down on the table, “I’ll see you tomorrow lad.”

“OUTMAOUSE!”

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 16 th September 2020 08:11**

**Subject: RE: RE: Stuff**

I don’t believe for a single second that you are a dick, or a coward. I think you must be a very brave person to walk away from everything and everyone for someone that you love.

I do miss you.

Please keep in touch. X

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 16 th September 2020 09:01**

**Subject: RE: RE: RE: Stuff**

Leave me alone

*

Stopping in the street, his hood up and cap on, grateful for the drizzle making it easier to hide, Alex nodded toward the wall to Eric, “There it is.”

“Yep,” Waiting, knowing Alex needed a few moments to compose himself, the blue Barclays logo beaming out at them, Eric felt his stomach flip, knowing this lead could the last they ever got, "Our very first Plymouth cash machine..."

Taking his card from his pocket, grateful he had an account he’d opened in a furious strop that no-one knew about, Alex smiled nervously, “Right then, let’s get this show started.”

 


	16. Aragone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning on this one for mention of rider being seriously injured. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

With her lanyard around her neck, the single most expensive thing she’d ever bought, Morwenna wandered down the paddock, her eyes on stalks at some of the motorhomes and hospitality areas dotted around, many of them bigger than houses. Being only Thursday it was busy with people building things, and people who didn't quite know where they were supposed to be but not busy in terms of the real hustle and bustle of a race weekend which gave her a good chance to get her bearings.

Finding a food stall, through the security check area (that she expected to fail each time she passed through it) she ordered a burger and took a seat at a bench table, the early evening sun warm on her face. Dani hadn’t replied to any message she’d sent in ten days, and she’d received a written bollocking in email form from her parents, Arthur having reported to them that Dani had turned into a bit of a drunken mess. Scooping a chip into some mayonnaise, almost burning her tongue on them, her eyes were continually drawn to a large red merchandise stall, a handful of fans with their tents already pitched fluttering around it, the large 93 logos shouting for attention.

After watching Alex race to his first Moto2 podium at Misano Morwenna had watched another Marquez race to victory in the MotoGP class. It didn’t take a lot of digging to discover that Marc, the winner of the big race of the day, was Alex’s older brother. Thanks to a group of Irish fans behind her she also became aware of the fact that the two brother had once been incredibly close, best friends, but had had some sort of bust up that people through would prove insignificant and would soon be forgotten… Learning that the row had lasted for years had made Morwenna sad, pushing the people around her to tell her more about Alex, about who was supporting him, the idea of him being as alone as Dani making her want to weep.

*

“Marc!”

Spinning on his heel Marc frowned, “Simon?”

“Hi mate,” Shifting from foot-to-foot, the conversation awkward, the tall businessman smiled nervously, “Can I have a word a sec? It’s about your brother…”

Instantly nodding, Marc moved them into the side, a quiet part of the paddock, “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t really be telling you, but… Well, I don’t want the kid to get hurt…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve just dropped him off… One of our jets just brought him back from England.”

Marc frowned, looking at his watch, “It’s almost midnight.”

“I know, we left Exeter, England, at 8pm…” Sighing, feeling it had to be said, “Michelle, the hostess, she said he had quite a bit to drink on the jet. Eric was trying to calm him, but, well to be honest, they just had to let him do it or the row would have meant the pilots had to land…”

“Fucking hell…” Marc put his hands on his hips, “What the fuck was he doing in England?”

“I don’t know mate, but Niall, the pilot says he won’t fly him again…” Tilting his head to the side Simon bit his lip, “And when we processed the payment for the minibar it was declined… I know he didn’t use his usual account so it’s probably just an oversight, but…”

“Put it on my account,” Marc’s reply was instant, wondering why Alex had been in England, knowing for a fact their parents thought he was in Switzerland, and beyond puzzled why he’d used a different account to pay, “I’ll go check on him. If he’s hungover I won’t let him ride.”

“Sorry, mate, I didn’t know what else to do. Normally I speak to Raul, but I couldn’t get him…”

Interest piqued again, Raul’s name cropping up too often, Marc frowned, “You speak to Raul? About Alex?”

“Yeah, just when you guys weren’t speaking. He was worried about Alex, and Eric actually, so asked…”

“Right,” Marc smiled, “Don’t tell him about this. Alex has decided he has to let Dani go… He and Eric were probably on a grieving blowout. He’ll be embarrassed if he thinks I know or Raul knows. Just don’t say anything. I’ll settle the bill.”

“Ok mate, no bother.”

Standing in the same place, signing the autograph an approaching fan asked for Marc sighed, wonderful for the millionth time in three years what the fuck was going on.

*

Xavi                                    Is he in MotoGP? Not wanna know anything else. Just that.

Morwenna                     No. He’s in Moto2

Xavi                                    Why still?

Morwenna                     I thought you didn’t want to know anything else?

Xavi                                    Why still? Should be up by now? He good. Real good.

Morwenna                     His injuries held him back

Xavi                                    What injuries?

Morwenna                     Xav, are you ok? Have you been drinking?

Xavi                                    What injury?

*

“Oi,” Marc grabbed Eric’s arm, pulling them both between two motorhomes, “Why is my brother drunk the night before practise?”

Two strong coffees in his hand Eric cursed as a drop splashed onto his skin, “Fucks sake Marc! He’s drunk because he imbibed alcohol…”

“Don’t be a dick… What’s going on?”

Torn between telling Marc, but not wanting Alex to go ballistic and cut himself away like he had in 2018, Eric shrugged, “Nothing.”

“You’re a shit liar Pedrosa,” Marc’s eyes drilled into Eric’s face, watching for any hint of _anything_ , “I have no idea how the police didn’t spot it.”

Swallowing, not quite sure what Marc did and didn’t know, Eric didn’t blink, “Don’t know what you are talking about…”

“Really?” Marc nodded sarcastically, then shrugged, “Fine… I’ll go and ask Raul, he seems to know everything…”

Grabbing Marc’s arm as he went to walk away Eric shook his head, “No! You can’t speak to Raul… You can’t… You can’t trust Raul…”

“What’s going on? Is Alex upset because he’s giving up on Dani?” Marc studied Eric’s face before the penny dropped, his head nodding slowly, “He’s not is he? He’s not giving up…”

Shaking his head, nervously looking around, still not sure who in the paddock could be trusted, Eric confirmed Marc’s thought, “No, he’s not. I need to take him this coffee or he won’t be able to ride tomorrow…”

“Tomorrow we will talk…” Marc’s tone gave Eric clear warning that he wasn’t asking a question, the older man nodding, before scurrying into Alex’s motorhome with the coffee, Marc’s instinct telling him to stay out, feeling Alex would lash out.

*

Clicking on the link that Morwenna had sent him, stupidly proud of how sober he’d managed to make himself sound on the phone after four coffees, Dani picked up the bottle of whisky, the swig for bravery burning his throat on the way down. Scrolling to the point he needed to be at tears sprung to his eyes instantly, the headline bad enough, “Oh no… Baby no…”

**_Marquez Critical After Testing Crash_ **

_Moto2 rider Alex Marquez has been placed into a medically induced coma after a crash in testing at Almeria left the 20-year-old in a critical condition._

_MotoGP bosses released the following statement about his condition, “Alex Marquez is currently in a medically induced coma after a crash today testing at America. Marquez crashed at the chicane and his right leg became caught in his bike. He has been to surgery this afternoon to pin and repair his right tibia and fibula and his ankle which are broken in several places. He also has a broken wrist and dislocated shoulder. The CT scan showed that he has some intracranial bleeding which is currently being observed. He has some contusions, including one on his lung which needs careful monitoring. His condition at the moment is critical. He was taken to hospital by helicopter and his transfer time was forty-three minutes from the red flag until he arrived. This was longer than normal because he required to be stabilised at trackside before being removed.”_

_Marquez’s team, EG 0,0 Marc VDS, said, “Alex’s condition at the moment is critical. Members of the team, including Michael Bartholemy and Guille Carillo, are at the hospital with Alex. He has had surgery to his right leg which got tangled in the bike during the crash. He has other injuries including some intracranial bleeding that is under constant observation. The team are currently investigating the cause of the crash and due to this Franky Morbidelli will not be testing tomorrow.”_

Pushing his iPad away, the rawness of the daily EG 0,0 Marc VDS tweets updating on Alex too much, Dani took a gulp of the whisky, tears and snot streaming down his face, the pain in his stomach, whisky on an empty stomach combining with the pain of loss making him curse, throwing the bottle across the room and not caring at the golden liquid staining the rug as it smashed. Curling up on the couch again, his phone flashing and beeping, Morwenna desperately trying to reach him, to tell him that it was ok now, the ‘he’s home!’ tweet not one he’d seen, Dani cried, wailing like an animal wounded, his heart breaking for his lost love.

*

Passing by the grandstand, heading back to the campsite, Morwenna smiled, a group of people decorating one stand with colourful flags, the number 26 emblazoned on them, their work only lit by dull floodlights and the moon. Thinking through the grid of people she'd tried to learn about from the programme from Misano she couldn't place a number 26, but realised that some of the flags were of similar colouring to those of Alex's brother Marc and his team. Stopping to watch them for a second she tilted her head in curiosity, realising that the jovial excitment and loud chatter of those decorating the other fan stands was missing.

"So sad..."

Turning to the voice behind her, finding an older couple arm-in-arm also heading for the campsite, Morwenna swallowed, remembering the mention of riders who'd been killed, "Is he dead? I'm new to the sport..."

"Nobody knows..." The man sighed, before pulling his backpack from his back and pulling out a book, holding it out to Morwenna with a smile, "Here, this is an excellent read for a newbie."

"Oh I couldn't..."

"Please. It's a pleasure to introduce people to the sport we love," Nodding as Morwenna, somewhat reluctantly, accepted the book, the man smiled, "I won't tell you who to support, your rider will find you, that's how it works."

Morwenna smiled, the friendliness of the fans something that was surprising her, "Thank you so much."

"Good night..."

Watching the couple walk away Morwenna observed the flag fixing for a few more moments before heading off to the campsite, the book tucked under her arm, planning to have twenty minutes or so reading about the 50 best MotoGP riders ever, planning to start with the curious number 26.

*

Lying in his bed, painfully sober after too much coffee and a too cold shower, Alex rolled onto his side, tears streaming down his face, the hope he’d tried not to build in Plymouth brutally crushed by Dani’s no show. For two days he and Eric had walked, and driven, around the area, carefully withdrawing trackable amounts of cash from each machine, before a late night check of online banking had brought jubilation when the right code had appeared.

When Thursday came they were both up and ready early, neither of them sleeping the night before, and positioning themselves in a bookshop opposite the cash machine before 8am. The train station was busy, meaning they both had three or four heartstopping moments when they thought _‘There he is!’_ before crushingly realising that it wasn’t. 8am became noon and then quickly became 4pm and then before either of them really knew it it was 6.30pm and not only was the bookshop closing, but so was the newsagents that housed the precious machine that had held their attention all day.

Clenching his fists tight by his side Alex screamed, not caring about who the noise startled or concerned as the worst moment of that year replayed over and over in his mind, “ **Where are you?! Where are you?** ”

 

_“Excuse me, Sir… We’re closing now,” His smile polite, but very clearly telling them they needed to leave the security guard nodded toward the door, “That exit please.”_

_Standing, his eyes still on the cash machine, like a criminal planning a great heist, Alex nodded, his heart breaking in two, “Right. Sorry.”_

_“Are you…”_

_Shaking his head, not wanting Eric to speak, suddenly wishing the shorter man didn’t look and sound so much like Dani, Alex bit back the tears, silent until they got to their hire car and silent for the drive to the airport, the pain of two days searching for the right cash machine, and the jubilation of finding it, completely overpowered by the distraught hopelessness of sitting on a bench, all day, waiting for a man who didn’t appear just too much. Feeling like everything was gone._

 

 


	17. First Contact

“Right… Wow…” Marc sat back, Eric opposite him, the whole story about Switzerland, the bank account and Plymouth all out in the open, the stream of information and revelations leaving him stunned, “So you haven’t told Raul because you don’t trust him?”

Eric shook his head, still hoping they were somehow wrong about the man he’d seen as a second brother for more than a decade, “No.”

“So what’s the next plan?”

Eric shrugged, pain on his face, “There isn’t one. Alex said enough…”

“Don’t bullshit me Pedrosa…”

Shaking his head Eric looked sad, “I’m not Marc. Alex said on the jet that was it. That it was stupid to keep going on…”

“You can’t give up though surely, he’s your _brother_ … **You** can’t give up on him,” Marc’s words hit Eric like a truck, the Cervera native feeling guilty at the crestfallen look on Eric’s face, “What is it?”

“How can **I** keep looking?” Eric shrugged his shoulders, utterly defeated, “I can’t afford to hire cars and jets and go searching. I can’t afford to hunt my brother down.”

“I’ll pay,” Putting his hand onto Eric’s shoulder, the older man sobbing softly, the tough exterior breaking down for the first time in years, Marc sighed sadly, “I can’t imagine what it would be like to not know where Alex was. It was bad enough when he hated me… I’ll pay. We’ll spend whatever it takes. I promise.”

*

Opening his eyes, the rising sun streaming through his unclosed blinds, Dani groaned, every muscle and bone in his body aching from a night of fitful sleep and bouts of crying curled up on his sofa. Bleary eyed he pushed the blanket aside, padding into the kitchen for tea, ignoring the coldness of the tiles on his bare feet and the grumbling of his stomach, too nauseous to even contemplate food he swayed slightly, his eyes closing as the kettle boiled.

For no obvious reason his brain suddenly decided to click into place, one of Morwenna’s messages finally sinking in, “He’s in Moto2… He’s **in** Moto2!”

Dashing back into the lounge, not noticing as he stubbed his toe, he picked up his iPad, cursing the cracked screen, it having taken one tumble from the sofa too many, he prayed for the first time in years, his eyes shut, as he waited for Google to do its magic, praying ‘Alex Marquez Misano’ would bring up something positive. Taking a huge breath, his hands shaking, his eyes struggle to focus for a second, before he was able to let out a relieved sob, his belief that he’d finally run out of tears proved wrong as his cheeks were dampened in relief, a smile pulling at his lips for the first time in days, “Thank you… Thankyou thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…”

**_“FINALLY!” Alex Marquez on his first Moto2 podium!_ **

*****

Standing in front of the stand, Dani’s flags pinned up by the fanclub who never seemed to get smaller, Marc bit on his lip, wondering how things would pan out, questions whirring around in his brain. Where had he gone? How would they find him? What would he do if they did?

Hearing footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him he turned, half expecting to be accosted by a fan looking for a selfie or an autograph, instead finding a woman, roughly his age, maybe a little older, with a book in her hand, looking at Dani’s flags and comparing it to a photo in the book, “You ok?”

“Hmm?” Looking up Morwenna was completely startled to see Marc standing there, anyone would have surprised her given the early hour, only five or six of the most dedicated fans making their way to a general admission area to claim their spot, but coming face-to-face with Alex’s brother left her opening and closing her mouth like a mute goldfish, before she blushed, embarrassed and feeling awkward, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you…”

Marc smiled, something instantly reassuring about the lack of screaming, “You didn’t. Good book?”

“Oh, yeah,” Morwenna blushed, shrugging, “I’m new. Misano was my first race. I’m just reading about number 26…”

Glancing at a flag, for some reason needing to speak to someone about Dani, Marc swallowed a lump in his throat, “The things you need to know about Dani Pedrosa are probably not in your book…”

“This is him?” Turning the book, an old photo of Dani, aged around 17, in black and white on the page, Morwenna felt guilty at the pained look that crossed Marc’s face, “Sorry, I read that he was your teammate…”

“He was. He was my friend once too,” Marc smiled, taking out his phone, scrolling through the hundreds of pictures he had on there before holding it out to Morwenna, “That’s how Dani really was…”

“Oh…” Tears stinging her eyes Morwenna smiled, the photograph showing Dani, Marc and Alex standing on a balcony, each of them with a beer in hand, all three laughing hard, exuding happiness the more recent photo confirming one hundred percent that Xavier Ramos was indeed Dani Pedrosa, “He looks happy there…”

“He was happy, which is amazing given that I’d just won the title and he hadn’t…” Marc smiled, an instinctive smile, happy memories flooding back, “He was like that. Super competitive, don’t believe any bullshit you read anywhere about him not being good enough or being too timid, he was like a fucking mini Rottweiler… He was just unlucky… He was the best teammate I ever had. We battled each other, but off track he was a good guy… … … Sorry, I should go…”

“Sure…” Morwenna looked at the photo in her book, Dani young and free of any worries, the thought of that boy stuck in a cottage alone forever making her heart break, “Marc!”

“Yes?” Turning back, the woman’s call sounding urgent, Marc frowned, Morwenna obviously trying to find words, “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Nodding, wishing she could just tell him the whole saga, instead she smiled, “Just wanted to say good luck this weekend.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh Dani…” Her words a whisper Morwenna turned back to the flags, her cheeks damp, most of the night spent reading the pages by torchlight and googling Dani for so long her phone died, his rollercoaster career and endless injuries heart-breaking enough without the extra knowledge she had about the rider that the fans had never forgotten, “What a mess.”

*

“Oh dear…”

“Not good, that’s Alex Marquez in the kitty litter again.”

“That’s the second time in this first practise session… He was in such good form at Misano, his first Moto2 podium after, frankly a _long_ time in the intermediate class. He was also back to Alex of old, smiling and laughing in the paddock…”

“He was. He had a great weekend in Italy, but it just doesn’t seem like today is going to be his day. Fingers crossed he’s not going back to the Alex Marquez we’ve seen for the past while as that would be a real shame.”

*

Morwenna               _img.pic_ They've never forgotten you... #26


	18. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the

Xavi                              Please don’t tell anyone.

Morwenna                  I haven’t. There are some things you need to see though…

Xavi                              No, there isn’t.

Morwenna                  I think there are. I’ll email you them, then it’s your choice if you want to open them. I really think you should…

*

“There are flights from El Prat to Exeter…” Eric shifted, feeling awkward sitting on Marc’s sofa, in Marc’s motorhome, talking about things that Marc would be paying for, “I mean… I know it’s a bit mad, but…”

Marc smiled kindly, slightly sore due to a crash in FP4, but happy with pole, “Eric, just spit it out.”

“Well, we, me and Alex, we noticed a pattern… Dani always goes to the cash machine on the last Thursday of the month. For some reason May and June are different, but they are still Thursdays…”

Nodding, getting the connection instantly Marc agreed, “You should be there each Thursday then.”

“It’d mean flying over and staying and then coming back. The flights don’t give enough time to get there and back in the same day,” Feeling bad, and his male pride dented somewhat by not being able to afford it himself, Eric puffed out his cheeks, “It might not even work…”

“No, it might not,” Patting Eric’s shoulder, reassuring the older man, “But it’s the best lead we’ve got so we’ve got to go for it.”

“I’ll pay you back…”

Marc laughed softly, kindly, as he took his card from his wallet, “Dani can pay me back when he’s home.”

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 20th September 2020 16:34**

**Subject: Missing Stall**

**Attachments: pic001 pic002 pic003**

This stall is manned by volunteers from the Missing Persons Bureau. The pitch is paid for by the riders. The posters are of missing people and fans are encouraged to look at the stall at least once over the weekend, there is one at every race.

The driving force behind the idea was your parents. You are on every stall, at every race, every season.

*

“What do you want?”

Sharing a look with Hector, Emilio shut the door behind him, “We’re getting complaints about you not doing your post-race media stuff…”

“Track was slippy, I fell off… End of,” Cracking open another beer, Alex shrugged, belligerent and rude, “Anything else?”

Sitting down opposite his charge Emilio sighed exasperatedly, “What happened? You were so happy last weekend…”

“Nothing happened,” Bitter and angry Alex almost spat his words, “Absolutely nothing happened.”

“Alex…” Sitting next to Emilio, trying to sound friendly and concerned rather than reproachful, Hector smiled kindly, “What happened mate?”

“You fucking happened!” Alex shook his head, the pain and anger showing in his face, his glassy eyes stinging as his stomach actually hurt, “You started it all again… I was getting on with it and then you just stirred up the pot and made me think…”

Leaning forward, Emilio’s voice was laced with concern, “You weren’t, not really…”

“Well I was trying!” Crossing his arms Alex kept shooting Hector dirty looks, his true feelings carrying over in his voice, his tone flat and sad, “Why couldn’t you just leave it alone?”

“Because you were killing yourself mate…” Hector answered honestly, feeling a tiny bit guilty at the flicker of shock on Alex’s face, “I couldn’t stand by and watch that, none of us could…”

“But you made me think I could find him,” Slumping forward, the beer bottle rolling onto the floor, unnoticed by him and ignored by the other two men, “I sat there **all** day… I really thought he’d come…”

“Where did you go Alex?” Watching as Alex’s shoulders started to shake, his breathing getting more rapid, Emilio put his hand on the younger man’s leg, his voice firm, desperate to break through the fog, “Alex?”

“I went with Eric…” Pulling his knees up to his chest, tears rolling down his face, Alex sounded and looked young, the pain worse than any physical injuries he’d ever had, breaking Emilio’s heart as he looked his mentor in the face before sobbing, “I thought I’d find him, I thought I’d get him back…”

“Hey, hey…” Moving to Alex’s side, tucking him into a hug as emotion overtook him, Emilio shared another look with Hector, the emotion Alex had hidden as best he could, turning it to anger mostly, finally claiming him, Emilio’s shirt quickly getting soaked, “Go get the family Hector…”

“No…”

“Yes Alex,” Voice firm, but kindly, Emilio kept his arms wrapped around him, Alex’s disagreement only pushed out between sobs, “It’s time to let people back in mate, you need your family…”

“I need Dani…” Letting it all go, sliding down to the floor, Emilio staying with him, never letting go, Alex’s face was contorted as he wailed, “I want Marc…”

“He’s coming mate…”

*

**To: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**From: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**Date: 20th September 2020 17:55**

**Subject: .**

Please stop.

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 20th September 2020 18:00**

**Subject: RE: .**

No. You don’t have to read them, but someone has to tell/show you.

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 20th September 2020 18:06**

**Subject: Facebook Appeal**

www.facebook.com/finddani

Your brother set this page up. From what I’ve read he and Alex personally went out looking for you every time someone sent in a possible sighting…

*

“Alex!” Rushing through the door, his parents and Hector close behind him, Marc instantly dropped to his knees, Alex’s arms quickly round him, clinging like a drowning man who’d found a life raft, “I’m here mate, I’m here.”

Broken, all the tears he had left escaping, Alex sounded hoarse, and lost, “I miss him so much.”

“I know you do.”

“Everything is fucked. Dani. You. My friends. My career. Everything is fucked forever Marc, everything.”

“No,” Marc shook his head, defiant and strong, pulling himself back slightly until Alex was forced to look up at him, “We were never fucked forever; dented, in need of a new fairing and a coat of paint, yes… But we were **never** fucked forever…”

“I miss my life,” His cheeks pink front the salt Alex shook his head, bewilderment taking over from devastation, “How did this happen? How did we go from that to this?”

“I don’t know,” Marc smiled, wiping a tear from his brother’s face, “I don’t know, but I do know we can fix it.”

“How?” Alex kept his eyes on Marc as their parents settled down on the floor next to them, Hector and Emilio hanging back, leaving the family to do what they did best, “How do we even begin?”

“Well, that’s very simple,” Reaching to take one of Alex’s hands and one of Marc’s Roser bit back a tear, “We start here, like this.”

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 22nd September 2020 10:00**

**Subject: Marquez Shop Cervera…**

**Attachments: pic001**

It’s looking a bit tatty, but your poster is still in the window…

*

“I was beginning to think that would never happen again…”

Putting his arm around his wife, Julia kissed her forehead, both of them hovering in the doorway, watching their boys play on Playstation, the laughter not quite up to full pitch, but it better than anything they’d seen for too long, “I knew they’d get there one day.”

“Do you think he’ll be ok?” Nodding toward Alex, her baby boy pale, too thin and just looking sad, Roser chewed on her bottom lip.

Julia nodded, smiling softly, “He’s got Marc back, he’ll be fine.”

“He hasn’t got Dani back though…”

"One step at a time love," Julia shook his head, chuckling, "Marc, actually sitting on your brother **is** cheating..."

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 22nd September 2020 14:12**

**Subject: 26 logo…**

**Attachments: pic001 pic002 pic003 pic004**

All of the riders had your logo on their gear for a while…

These two still have it


	19. Bravery

Standing outside the MM93 store, her early morning wander around Cervera continually bringing her back to this spot, Morwenna fixated on the poster of Dani; the weather having taken its toll on it, edges fraying and corners missing, the lumps and bumps showing that it wasn't the first poster, it was a replacement for one that had crumbled to bits over time. Glancing through the window, she shook her head sadly at the noticeboard, a place where presumably once notices about fun things lived, now covered with twelve missing posters, eleven different faces looking out surrounded by heartbreaking words and desperate pleas from their families, Dani face smiling out from the centre.

"Now, this is either getting a little creepy or I'm about to be very embarassed because you are not the same person..."

Spinning around Morwenna's heart stopped for a second, not expecting to encounter Marc at 6am for the second time in less than a week, "Oh..."

"No book this time?" Feeling a little bad, the colour draining from the woman's face, Marc dismissed the momentary notion that she was some sort of weird stalker and tried to make her feel a little better.

Shaking her head, tiny hint of a smile on her face, Morwenna laughed, "No, I've finished the book."

"So what do you think of our sport then?"

"I like it," Smiling in instinctive reaction to Marc's grin Morwenna tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before mentally scolding herself, flirting not an acceptable past time at 6am, even if the person in front of her appeared to have been created to show the world what a living Greek God figure would look like, "It's very interesting."

"It is. Will I be bumping into you on the flyaways?"

"No," Morwenna shook her head, her face going a little red, Marc's laugh infectious and making her join in, "No, you can have 6am bike rides without fear for those races."

"Not in Japan, they are very polite, but crazy in Japan..." Biting his tongue for a second, before speaking anyway, Marc nodded toward the poster, "You seem very interested in Dani, you're not a journalist are you?"

"No, definately not!" Morwenna shook her head, hoping it was convincing, before lying in a way she never thought herself capable of, "I know someone who ran away from their family... It's odd to see it from the other side. So many people seem to care about him and miss him."

"They do," Sadness filtered onto Marc's face, thinking of all the tears Alex had shed in the two nights since they'd gone home, three years of hurt flooding out of his brother, "It's very difficult on the people left behind. It's cruel."

"He didn't mean to be cruel," Morwenna faltered, before covering, "My friend. He didn't mean to be cruel. He thought it was for the best."

"Not knowing is the worst thing in the world. It eats people up."

"I can imagine," Feeling her breath catch as another bike pulled up beside Marc, Alex instantly recognisable, Morwenna smiled, "I should let you get on."

"Well until we meet again..." Marc smiled, ignoring Alex's smirk next to him, " Sorry, I didn't catch your name?" 

"Erm, it's, erm Morwenna," Unable to lie, cursing herself for not saying 'Grace', Morwenna smiled at Marc's chuckle, knowing that faltering over your own name made you look incredibly thick, "Bye."

"Goodbye Erm-Morwenna..." Marc laughed, not cruelly, but kindly, before shrugging his shoulders at Alex, "What?"

"It's like 6am!" Shaking his head at his brother, both of them pedalling off down the street, Alex sighed, "How do you have the energy to flirt at 6am?"

"I wasn't flirting!"

"You so were."

"Were not."

"You so were... ' _Goodbye Erm-Morwenna'_ chuckle chuckle chuckle..." Alex ducked from the thump flying in his direction, pedalling harder to pull in front of Marc, "Last to the bench does the washing and drying tonight after dinner!"

"Hey!" Protesting as Alex raced away, him not in the right gear or ready, Marc bellowed, "You are a cheat Alex Marquez!"

"Learned it from you! And I can hardly hear you from away back there!!"

*

Opening the fridge Dani cursed, realising he'd lost track of the days in his fog of tears, the shelves almost empty, the freezer no different. Looking around the cupboards he realised he had to stock up again, but the idea of going to Penzance and Plymouth, of being surrounded by people, even of getting dressed properly filled him with dread. Picking up his iPad, the cracks on the screen getting worse by the day, he slumped down onto a chair at the table, loading up the website and taking a chance, the prospect of going out worse than the prospect of taking the risk.

*

Eric          I've booked a flight for Tuesday night. I've covered the hotel myself. I'll be back on Friday assuming he's a no-show again. Thanks for transferring the car hire money

Marc         You don't have to cover anything yourself. I don't mind. Have you seen Raul?

Eric          Thank you. Yeah, he was at my parents when I got back. He was full of questions about Alex and where we'd been. I wanted to punch him in the face

Marc         Ignore him. He's not worth it. Are you going to be able to cover going away all the time ok?

Eric          I told my Mum I'd met a girl. I hate lying to her, but I can't tell her the truth. She'd get her hopes up too much, and she'd 100% tell Raul

Marc         Good thinking with the girl. I was going to say we could tell them you were working for me for a bit, but a girl probably is more believable in terms of nights away.

Eric          I now just need to dodge questions about meeting her and I'll be fine!

Marc         The joys of nosy parents, eh?! Let me know if you need anything, anything at all.

Eric           Thanks Marc. I'll never forget any of this mate, never

*

Settling down on the sofa, having forced himself to have a shower, Dani looked at his bowl of cereal, completely unappetising due to a lack of milk and a moment of randomness when he decided that Ribena added to puffed wheat was a good idea, "Fuck's sake Pedrosa..."

Opening up his emails he braced himself, aware in the back of his brain that Morwenna's involvement would more than likely blown his cover at some point, then clicked on the next of her emails.

 

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 22nd September 2020 06:37  
**

**Subject: Alex and Marc  
**

I saw them this morning, they were out for a bike ride. I thought you'd be pleased to know their fallout appears to have been fixed.

 

Putting his bowl on the table Dani frowned in concern, the idea of Alex coping with anything without Marc horrible. Quickly googling he sank back into the cushions, his heart sinking at link after link appeared on his screen, a lump in his throat as he clicked on one.

*

_'He didn't mean to be cruel'_

 Pulling the brakes so hard he almost catapulted himself over the handlebars Marc put his feet on the ground, steadying himself for a moment, replaying the moment over and over in his brain, listening to Morwenna's tone and reaction, "Shit!"

"Marc?" Staring at dust, his brother having turned himself around and sped back toward town, Alex laughed, "Are we racing back then? Marc?!"

*

Sitting on the arm of the sofa, his hair still damp from the shower, that the most therapeutic place to shed the heartbreaking tears over Alex's struggles, Dani's hands shook, no food starting to take its toll. Grabbing his hoodie he headed for the door, his wallet in his pocket, knowing that his wrecklessly ordered shopping delivery wasn't arriving for another 24 hours so he had to be brave and face the world.

*

"Shit!" Skidding to a halt outside the fanclub shop, the few people around thankfully all local so not interested in a photo or autograph, Marc thumped his hand down onto his handlebars, "Shit!"

Gliding to a stop next to his brother, sweat pouring from both of them, Alex panted, "What the fuck was that?"

"I think..." Stopping, not wanting to upset Alex, but them all having agreed that lies and hiding things had caused more trouble than anything else the night before, Marc looked crestfallen, "I think that girl knows Dani..."

Confused, bristling slightly at the mere mention of the older man's name, Alex's eyes narrowed, "Lots of people know Dani..."

"I think she knows Dani now..." Marc looked around, no trace of her at all in the square, "I met her at Aragon. She was at Dani's stand, reading a book... She said she was new to the sport."

"Marc what the fuck are you talking about?"

"She said  ' _He didn't mean to be cruel'_ and then she said that she meant her friend," Realising he'd missed an important part of the story Marc quickly filled Alex in, about Morwenna's mention of her friend, about seeing it from the other side, "Her face... I think she realised she'd made a mistake..."

"You think this girl, who you don't know, had never met until last weekend and have spoken three or four sentences too, knows Dani and where he is?"

"Yes," Marc nodded, something feeling confident in him, "I do."

"I think you are crazy," Alex smiled kindly, shaking his head, "Even I think that's too far fetched and I once flew too Moscow because of a facebook post where someone used the wrong word like Dani did..."

"Brought instead of bought?" Marc smiled at Alex's nod, deciding silently that he'd find the girl, somehow, "Yeah, maybe you're right..."

"I am... Don't let it mangle your head too bro, I need you to sort me out!"

"I won't, and I will," Marc pulled a face, looking at his brother, "Moscow?"

"Yeah," Pedalling on, the two of them side-by-side until they arrived at their parents front door Alex filled Marc in on the long, and expensive, trip.

*

"Are you hear for business or pleasure?"

Eric smiled, signing the slip of paper, "Hopefully both..."

"Good good. Here are your keys, the car is in bay number four, have a lovely trip."

Taking the keys Eric scooped up his bag, "Thanks, I'll do my best."

*

"How are you Xavier?"

Smiling at the cafe owner, Dani nodded, "Fine thank you. Can I just have a fish and chips please?"

"Of course. Tea?"

"Coke please," Turning to look out of the window, the tiny cafe overlooking the beach, his house visible on the hill, Dani put his card on the table, butterflies in his stomach at the prospect of using it, smiling again as his drink was delivered. Watching the waves for a second he sighed as his phone pinged, absolutely no doubt that it would be another email from Morwenna, "Relentless..."

 

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: tesco.com**

**Date: 22nd September 2020 19:41  
**

**Subject: Delivery  
**

Your delivery will arrive between 3pm and 5pm tomorrow. You can amend your order until 11:59pm tonight.

 

Shaking his head, smile on his face, Dani laughed softly, "Relax Pedrosa, it's fine. Just relax. You are safe here."


	20. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two for tonight.

“Excuse me,” The security guard tapped Eric’s shoulder, “We’re closing now…”

Eric nodded, putting his coffee cup down, “Sorry, lost track of time…”

“No worries mate.”

Picking up his jacket, the early evening air cool enough to make him shiver as he stepped outside, Eric glanced back at the cash machine, the second Thursday in a row that he’d sat there, “Why have you changed your routine now?”

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 2 nd October 2020 09:47**

**Subject: ??**

Ok, you haven’t replied for a week. No-one has seen you for just as long, I’m getting worried…

If you don’t reply by 6pm then I’m getting on a flight back.

*

“Marc?”

“Hmm?” Looking up from his laptop, finding the first moment of the week where he had a chance to start searching Facebook for the mysterious Morwenna, Marc smiled, “What’s up?”

“Fancy room sharing on the flyaways?” Hovering in the doorway, both of them staying with the parents, Alex shrugged, “I think long nights on my own…”

“Sure,” Marc smiled, closing the lid of the laptop, Alex’s here and now the most important thing, “Do you want to go for a run?”

“Nah, already trained this morning,” Alex glanced toward the living room, both parents out, “Playstation?”

“Mama banned me…” Marc cackled with laughter, their mother confiscating the wire connecting the Playstation to the TV the night before when the language issue made her snap, both boys wealthy enough just to keep putting one euro in the jar with each bad word, “We _are_ going to be away for the flyaways…”

“Time for Mama to calm down…” Alex wiggled his eyebrows, basically challenging his brother, “Set an alarm on your phone and we can turn it off in time…”

“I’m being Barca!”

*

“Been away again?”

Eric dumped his bag in the hallway, not entirely surprised to see Raul in Dani’s house, “Yeah.”

“Where you been this time?” Watching Eric’s reaction, Raul raised an eyebrow, “Your Mama says you have a girl?”

Eric smirked, trying to remember his last cheeky fling, using that to convince Raul, “Yep.”

“Details?”

“Nope.”

“Long term?”

“I doubt it.”

“Married?”

Eric laughed, secretly annoyed at the older man assuming he would do that, “No.”

“Older, younger?” Raul pushed, knowing Eric was never ashamed of his actions, “Alex with you?”

“Marquez?” Eric shook his head, laughing like it was a ridiculous idea, “I don’t think Alex would be particularly comfortable in Ana’s company…”

“Oh really?” Raul laughed, “Bit of a goer is she?”

“Yeah,” Eric yawned, the timing almost perfect, “I’m starving, gonna get pizza. You staying?”

“No, I was just checking for post. You staying here long?”

“Nah,” Eric smiled again, “Ana is in Geneva on business tomorrow. She has a room at Le Richemond… I need some sleep…”

“What are you like?!” Raul laughed, slapping Eric’s shoulder as he walked toward the door, “Have fun…”

“I will,” Resisting the temptation to thump the other man Eric let out a big sigh when the door thumped closed, leaving him alone to contemplate another failure in his search.

*

**To: XavRam@hotmail.co.uk**

**From: holidaychick@gmail.com**

**Date: 2 nd October 2020 18:14**

**Subject: RE: ??**

I’m fine. You don’t need to come home.

*****

“This house is **not** a hotel just for you two to…” Fixing her elder son with a firm stare Roser pursed her lips, “Marc Marquez, are you laughing at me?”

Shaking his head, desperately not looking at Alex, knowing they’d crease if he did, Marc tried to look contrite, “No Mama. I would never do that… I love you Mama…”

“I love you too Mama…”

“Well,” Shaking her head, smile creeping onto her face, Roser sighed, “What do I even say to that? Go on, get out of my sight the pair of you!”

“Thanks Mama,” Sprinting for the stairs Alex laughed, shouting to Marc about a card game.

“Marc,” Catching her elder son’s arm, Roser smiled, the devilish glint the boys definitely inherited from her in her eyes, “You are on dishes duty for a month when you get back…”

“It was his idea!” Shaking his head, the protest mostly good humoured, Marc laughed, “I’ll buy you a dishwasher…”

“You can’t always buy your way out of trouble…” Roser’s words held both a joking tone, and a cautionary one, aware that Marc was funding Eric, “Be careful. Your brother is fragile.”

“I know,” Leaning in to kiss his mother’s cheek, Marc winked, “I’ll fix him though. It’s my job.”

*

“Too late I was already on the plane…”

Jumping out of his skin, not having heard anyone enter his house, Dani clutched his chest, “Jesus Christ Morwenna! You nearly fucking killed me!”

“It smells in here…” Dumping her bag on the floor, pleasantries not being bothered with, Morwenna moved a pile of damp washing from a chair to the table, “So?”

Running his hand through his hair, aware of the fact the house smelled, there were dishes everywhere and he looked like shit, “So what?”

“So, tell me what’s going on Dani Pedrosa…”

Closing his eyes, the sound of his own name strange after so long, Dani shook his head, “Look Morwenna I know that we’ve been friends for a while, but…”

“Shall I tell you what I think?” Shaking off her hoodie, whilst simultaneously kicking off her shoes, the gesture very clear, Morwenna sighed softly, “I think you left to protect Alex Marquez. You left because he was young, and he wasn’t doing too great in 2016 and you thought that if he suddenly became the ‘gay one’ then that would quickly be followed by him being the ‘unemployed one’…”

“Morwenna…”

“And you thought if you left then he could become the ‘great one’ that you wanted, and still want, him to be. I think you’ve been holed up here in the middle of nowhere for three years conning yourself that that’s what was happening… He was just getting on with his life, winning trophies and being happy. Free from you…”

“Please…”

“But he hasn’t,” Watching Dani’s shoulders start to slump Morwenna knew it was win or bust time, Dani would either let her in, truly let her in, or she’d wake up the next day to find him gone, another person erased from his life, “He hasn’t got on with his life, he hasn’t won trophies and he certainly hasn’t been happy… He’s been injured, he’s as skinny as a fucking rake, he fell out with his brother, he lost his ride and rumour has it his brother actually pays his current team to employ him…”

“Stop.”

“You missed one thing out on your list of reasons that Dani Pedrosa should disappear from Alex Marquez’s life… You forgot that Alex Marquez is in love with Dani Pedrosa, and he has missed you as much as you’ve missed him…”

“ _Please…_ ”

“You can’t do this forever Dani, the not knowing is chewing him up. Marc said so. He didn’t realise what he was saying. He doesn’t know that I know you, but that’s what he said…”

“ _Oh no…_ ”

“Yes. You can’t hide forever Dani, it’s not fair. Not on you friends, or your family, or on Alex, or on yourself…”

“I thought it was for the best,” Crumpling into Morwenna’s arms, her moving to the sofa next to him, Dani sobbed softly, the world around him falling apart again, with him having no idea how to fix it.

*

Mostly on autopilot Eric padded into Dani’s office, firing up the PC and logging onto the internet banking. He almost shut the page down, fully expecting there to be nothing on the next line, before freezing in shock, another clue, a hint that he was doing the right thing after all, “You **are** there somewhere…”

“Eric?!”

Quickly shutting down the PC Eric pulled his top over his head, pushing down his trousers as he dashed to the office door, slamming it shut behind him, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Are you alri….ah… Sorry mate…” Raul laughed, holding his hands up as he turned to go back toward the door, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…”

“Doesn’t rule out much!” Eric laughed, sounding like he was joking, before dropping his voice to a mutter as Raul left, “Disloyal wanker…”

*

“You ok?” Lying on her side in Dani’s bed, both of them in boxers and a t-shirt, Dani curling up under the duvet after a shower, “Dani?”

“Can I be Xavi tonight?” Dani looked and sounded sad, not heartbroken or lost or anything else, just sad, “I know I have to be Dani again, but I’m not ready yet…”

“Of course you can.”

“Tell me about Elisabetta… Was she the only girl you had fun with while you were away?”

“She was the only girl…”

“Ooooh…” Dani chuckled, shaking his head, “I always told you that you liked kissing me too much to be completely into women only!”

“Shut up you,” Morwenna blushed bright red, kicking Dani under the duvet, “He was called Gianni… He was Elisabetta’s cousin…”

“Morwenna!”

“It was Elisabetta’s idea!” Morwenna chuckled, low and dirty, voice dropped to a whisper like a cheeky teenager on a sleepover hiding her story from her parents, “So, what happened was…”

*

Eric                  Dani is in Cornwall. He used his card in a supermarket. Raul is getting suspicious. I’m going to try and crack Dani’s password so I can track his banking from my own laptop

Marc                Good work mate. Raul can fuck right off. His password on his work laptop was Alex0496

Eric                  I’ll try that one. 2304 was his phone pin code too so it’s got to be something like that

Marc                We’re getting closer mate, we’ll find him.

           

 


	21. Love, Dani x

"Morning..."

"Hi," Choosing a seat at the table, it all laid out for breakfast, Dani smiled gratefully at Morwenna as she placed a plate of food in front of him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Morwenna sat next to him, putting her own plate down, the fry up mostly a grill-up due to a lack of oil, Dani's healthy eating ways mostly sticking with him, she smiled, "Enjoy your breakfast Xav."

*

_October 3rd 2020_

 

_Dear Alex,_

 

_I really do not know where to begin. I'm so very sorry. I can't even express how sorry I am._

*

"Morwenna..."

Turning from the sink, doing the washing up despite Dani's protestations she should use the dishwasher while he was in the shower, Morwenna frowned at the extended hand, "Yes?"

"I..." Taking a deep breath through his nose, Dani nodded slowly, convincing himself that this was the right thing to do, "I'm Dani..."

Picking up the dish towel with a smile Morwenna dried her hands quickly before reaching to take Dani's, the shake more symbolic than anything else, "Nice to meet you Dani."

"I was wondering if you'd like a chat," Dani shrugged, biting the inside of his cheek, "Maybe get to know each other a bit?"

Morwenna smiled wide, her nose and eyes crinkling in happiness, "That would be lovely."

*

_I will understand if you never want to hear from me again. Although I thought at the time I was doing the right thing I realise now that I have treated you in a horrible way, that I have been cruel to you, and that is unforgivable._

_I got a stupid notion in my head that if I left you'd be safe. You'd be protected from the prejudice and vitrol that I feared would come if Nakamoto carried out his threat. I honestly believed that me leaving would allow you the freedom to have the career you'd always dreamed of, the one you'd worked hard for and that you deserve so very much._

*

"Marc became my teammate in 2013, we knew part way through 2012 that it was going to happen," Sitting on his balcony, his back against the house, the chill kept off them by the soft blanket that usually lived on his sofa, Dani looked off into the distance, "They sort-of come as a pair; Marc and Alex, Alex and Marc, the Marquez brothers..."

Sitting next to him, equally wrapped in the blanket Morwenna simply smiled, letting Dani speak at his own pace, not interrupting for fear of breaking the flow.

"He was 17, Alex, and he was shy a lot of the time," Dani smiled, a memory coming back to him, "He literally stuttered when he met Valentino... ... He found it weird the first few times we spoke, but then he relaxed. He and I quite alike in a lot of ways, neither of us like the hustle and bustle of the paddock, we just want to ride and go home... Nothing happened that year, or the next. We chatted a lot, he'd ask me about tracks and he _actually_ _listened_... Lots of the young ones ask, but they don't bother listening, some even tell you where you are going wrong..."

Resting his head back on the stone Dani closed his eyes, "His last few races in 2014 was when I started to see him different... He was a nice kid when I first met him, and then somehow without me noticing he turned into this steely, quietly determined guy who wanted to win, and he did... The tried to rattle him, I mean they _really_ tried, but he just kept his head down. He won that title by taking it, and he managed to do it without being a prick... He managed to do it **and** stay himself..."

*

_At first I thought we could do it, ride out the storm together, but then I realised what I'd be asking of you. I would have had one or two more years at most, but you'd have had to put up with that for the bulk of your career. I kept thinking about all the times we'd talked about you sometimes hating your surname; the unfairness that sometimes you were viewed as failing simply for not doing as well as Marc, or where you felt people wanted you because of your name rather than actually wanting you._

_I don't really know how it would have gone. Either we'd both have been cast out, shunned from the sport and you'd have missed out on your chance to progress, or we'd have been the one teams wanted because they could show how modern and PR friendly they were. I could vision the change in tone of sponsors and advertising we'd have to do. I just couldn't do it to you. It wasn't fair._

*

"We became friends, usually with Marc there, but sometimes without. We went mx'ing, we'd have dinners, just normal stuff..." Wrapping his arms around his knees, his bottom lip wobbling Dani went on, "He started 2015 so positively. He'd won the title, he'd moved up, Marc had won the title, everything was good... He had a few bad results, but he was learning and it was ok."

"It changed in Aragon," Dani blushed, still a little self-conscious about what someone would think about the age gap, "Aragon was always a little bit weird... In 2013 Marc cut a cable on my bike and I crashed, in the race I mean," Laughing softly at Morwenna's stunned face, Dani shook his head, "No, sorry, I don't mean he sneaked into my garage the night before!"

"I was wondering!" Morwenna chuckled, happy to see Dani smiling, realising how handsome he truly was when his smile reached his eyes completely, which it did when he spoke about Alex.

"He got too close; he was young and took a risk too far," Dani shrugged, that incident seeming so trivial in comparison to everything since, "Marc and I agreed to disagree over it in 2013, but each time we went back to Aragon the press brought it back up, so it was a weird kind of weekend. The weekend always coincides with my birthday so when I got on the podium I decided to have a few drinks... ... Alex and Marc both retired from the race so they weren't so much in the party mood."

*

_I originally decided that I was going to end it. Break up with you and then we could both get on with things. Then I rowed with Marc, please do not blame him in any way he was just looking out for you, and I realised how difficult it was going to be for both of us to remain in the paddock. I couldn't imagine being there week-in-week-out and not being able to touch you, or hold you, or probably even speak to you. Mostly I couldn't imagine how I would manage seeing you hate me for breaking your heart._

_I thought about going away for a while, but I know you and how determined you are. I knew that if you turned up at my door and asked me to come home that I wouldn't be able to resist. Even though I'd know that many years down the line you'd have me for wrecking your career I wouldn't be able to say no. Losing you then was so painful, I couldn't imagine getting 3, 5 or 10 years down the line and then losing you._

_I also knew that now that Nakamoto had blackmailed me once he could, and probably would do it again. He'd hold it over me for years, I'd end up with no control over my career at all. I also knew that he'd try to use me against you, or vice-versa; he already tried to use me as a weapon against Marc in the contract talks in 2016. He used me like a pawn, telling people I was speaking to Yamaha when I wasn't, and Suzuki, all of the paddock knowing that and thinking it was me putting out the rumours to try and get more money. I had to get away from it all. From him, from Honda, from the risk, from the paddock and I couldn't take you with me._

*

"I wasn't the first guy he'd kissed, but I was..." Dani trailed off, blinking back tears and covering his face with his hands, his voice dropping to an almost inaudible whisper, "It was amazing... He was amazing... He was always beautiful, but in bed... The shyness went, the nerves went, and he just came apart in the most glorious ways..."

"Is this helping or upsetting you?" Wrapping her arm around his shoulders Morwenna pulled him in for a hug, rocking him through the silent sobs that wracked his body, "Dani..."

"I love him," Looking up to the sky, watching the fluffy clouds move as tears rolled down his face, "And he loved me... The first time he told me was at New Year, he was tipsy, but not drunk drunk..." Dani smiled, closing his eyes as he remembered that first trip to Geneva for Alex, "He came over on the 29th, we had our Christmas dinner on the 30th... We opened our presents after breakfast in bed, said that would be our tradition... We watched the fireworks from my garden, I asked him if he wanted to go and he said no, because he wanted to kiss me... We kissed under the fireworks and he almost dragged me to bed... By then he knew what he liked and what he didn't, and he knew I would never deny him anything... After... He said that he loved me, then he panicked, realising he'd said it out loud..."

*

_I decided to go abroad, but I couldn't decide where. I booked four flights from London that all left in the same two hour window. I hoped by the time I got to Heathrow I'd have decided which one to take. When I got there I couldn't decide, so I just wandered around for hours and hours. I ended up sleeping there that night. No-one even noticed because everyone was too busy._

_I watched the boards, I did check in for one of the flights, but I couldn't bring myself to go. I decided to stay in London for a few days, make a firm plan, and if I'm honest I thought that maybe Nakamoto would call, tell me to come back and it would all be ok. He didn't though. Lots of people did, people I didn't even realise had my number, but he never called me, not once._

*

"Everything just seemed normal from there... Sometimes he'd stay in my motorhome, sometimes in 2016 once his and Marc's arrived I'd stay in theirs. Nobody bothered. Vale threatened me once. After Sepang when he was convinced the world was against him he said he'd get back at Marc by outing Alex. It took him about an hour to knock on the door and apologise for being a dick. He didn't even have his helmet on..." Dani laughed at Morwenna's confused look, "It'll be in your book..."

"Ok then..."

"Everything was **so** good. Even though 2016 was the shittest of shit seasons for both of us, especially Alex, he just could not get to grips with that bike. He couldn't keep the heat in the tyres so he kept crashing. Even on weekends where he was running well, up in fourth or fifth, it still caught him out... Right up until the point that Nakamoto saw us together everything was perfect... And it was my fucking fault that he did..."

"Oh Dani," Hugging him again, his tears falling silently, Morwenna felt tears begin to roll down her ofwn face, the sadness of the situation overwhelming, "I'd like to get my hands on that man."

"I thought he'd be better off. I really, really did..."

*

_I was recognised a few times in London so I realised quickly I couldn't stay there. I went to the railway station and looked at the map. The most northern station was Thurso, when I googled it I realised it was a tiny place and all it would take was one person to recognise me and it'd be done. The most southerly place was Penzance. There are lots of tiny villages around Penzance and it's a huge tourist destination, lots of people come and go, no-one bats an eyelid at a stranger, so I went there._

_After two months of staying in B &B's and caravans a friend helped me buy a cottage. It's very isolated, but the village has internet and gas (some of them really don't have either!) so I knew I could live here. Mostly I just watch the ocean, surf or paddle board. In tourist season I hide from the world for two months. I believed that once any sightings of me stopped you would stop looking and get on with your life so I made sure there were none. _

_Writing this all down I realise just how cruel I have been to you. I never meant to hurt you like this. I knew it would hurt you a bit, but I honestly thought it would be less painful than the alternative. I realise that after all this time I have a real cheek to ask you anything, but if I could ask one thing of you it would be that you believe that I truly did what I thought was best._

*

"So what now?" Back inside, Dani on the sofa, both of them taking refuge from the rain, Morwenna handed Dani a glass of wine.

Taking a sip Dani shrugged honestly, "I don't know. I never had a plan for this..."

"This?"

"Hearing his name again, reading about him," Biting his lip Dani closed his eyes, "Hearing that he wasn't doing so well... I don't know what to do. It's not like I can just rock up one day and make everything ok... I wrecked his life, I hurt him, he probably knows that I lied to him about Jorge..."

"You didn't lie Dani," Morwenna's tone was kind, but slightly chastising, not allowing Dani to sink into a pool of self pity, "You answered honestly, you just misunderstood his question."

"It's not going to make it any easier for him. I don't know what to do. I want to tell him to get on with his life, to not let his chance go because..."

"Because?"

"Because we lost _everything_ to save it," Dani wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "What do I do?"

"You could write him a letter? Give him a PO Box address to reply too if you are not ready for him to turn up here..."

"What if he doesn't reply?"

"Maybe it's his time to get to decide that..."

*

_I would completely understand if I never hear from you. I would completely understand if you hate me more than you've ever hated anyone._

_I have a friend who went travelling. She went to a race and she realised who you were, and who I was. She came home and she's made me face the reality of what I actually did, burst the bubble I was in pretending to myself that I hadn't realised how much of a mistake I'd made two weeks in._

_I love you and I did what I did in a desperate bid to protect you. I am so, so sorry that I got it so wrong. Please do not let me rob you of your career. You deserve for it to be brilliant because you are brilliant._

_Love, Dani x_

 

 


	22. Excuse Me

“The fans are going crazy…” Holding out his phone, aware their surroundings were proving tough for his younger brother, Marc grinned, “I think this reply is the best…”

“Oh yes this means the chance of a threesome is back on,” Laughing hard Alex almost choked on his coffee, his decision to fly to Japan with Marc meaning he had to share the four hour stop at Heathrow, “If only she knew!”

“Indeed,” Marc chuckled, his laugh always sounding dirty, but even more so with things like that, so glad he was able to do little things like post selfies with his brother again, “Thank you…”

“For what?” Alex looked up with a frown, before realising and nodding, “I’m the one who should be thanking you really.”

“Well,” Sensing Alex getting a little emotional, his brother unable to stop himself from constantly looking around, as if there was some dot of hope that Dani had been in Heathrow the whole time and was just waiting for Alex to find him, Marc shrugged, “Yeah, probably you should…”

“Fuck you,” Alex smiled, laughing softly, beyond grateful that at least one part of his life seemed to be straightening itself out.

*

“Do you know what I can’t stop thinking about?”

Peering through the divide, Alex’s voice only just reaching him, Marc smiled, “What?”

“What happens if we do ever find Dani? You know, after the initial ‘you’re alive’ bit, what happens then?”

Frowning, then realising he’d not really thought about that part either, Marc shrugged, “I guess you guys would have a lot to talk about…”

“Yeah. We would,” Turning slightly in his seat, allowing him to keep his voice super quiet, protecting their conversation from anyone else in the cabin, Alex chewed on his bottom lip, “Do you think it’s fair? To try and find him I mean. Do you think that’s fair on Dani?”

Totally baffled, his face screwed up in the confusion, Marc sounded slightly incredulous, “Why on earth wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, he made a decision…” Alex shrugged, ignoring Marc’s bafflement, mostly just using his brother as a sounding board for the thoughts in his own head, “It can’t have been easy. I mean I could understand running away for a while in a panic, or even in a tantrum, but to leave and to _stay_ away? That can’t be easy.”

Resting his head on the divide, happy to play the listening role, Marc shook his head a tiny bit, “I dare say it can’t be.”

“It’s not just me, it’s everyone… His friends, his family, I mean he was so close to his family… And I believe Eric, they don’t know where he is, Eric, Basilia and Tonio, they don’t know…” Looking to Marc, glad of the nod of agreement, Alex frowned, “Maybe Raul keeps him up to date with everyone, but it can’t be the same…. It must be hard…”

“Gentlemen, can I get you a drink?”

Mentally cursing the interruption Marc sat back in his seat with a smile, “Orange juice please.”

*

“Left or right?” Dumping his bag on the floor Marc turned back to his brother, instantly concerned at the ashen look on Alex’s face, “Was this Dani’s room in 2016?”

Alex nodded, his voice refusing to work, not realising the room number straightaway due to Marc doing the check-in.

*

“Thanks Santi…” Alex smiled gratefully, dropping his bags onto the floor of the new room, “I just couldn’t…”

Shaking his head Santi squeezed Alex’s shoulder, him one of the few people who’d been trusted to know about the coupling, “Completely understandable kid.”

“I miss him…” Biting on his lip, Santi discretely leaving the room, leaving Marc to console his brother, “On trips like this it hurts so much… We had such a good weekend here. He won the race, and I know I only got fourth, but that fourth felt like a fucking victory…”

“I know,” Marc smiled, kicking off his shoes before getting onto his bed, two doubles in the room, full height as the hotel mainly catered for European visitors, “I remember.”

“Do you remember the karaoke?” Kicking off his own shoes and dumping his hoodie Alex clambered onto the bed next to his brother, both of them on their sides facing each other, “Dani and Eric signing _‘He ain’t heavy’_ is one of Eric’s favourite memories…”

“I don’t know that I’d say they _sung_ it exactly,” Marc chuckled, his ears wincing at the memory, “But it was hilarious.”

“That’s the weekend Emilio walked in on us, remember?”

Marc bellowed loud, Alex’s face flushing pink as he remembered Emilio’s spluttering, “Yep. Poor Emilio…”

“I don’t know why he didn’t knock! He **always** knocks!” Blushing furiously, able to vision Emilio’s wide-eyed and open-mouthed stare, Alex shook his head, “Every time he says ‘ _excuse me’_ I go back to that moment…”

 

_“I thought we were never going to get away…” Backing Dani up against the wall, Alex’s hands were instantly under Dani’s t-shirt, seeking the heat of the older man’s skin, “Congratulations on your win…”_

_Dani grinned, his eyes darkened by a combination of alcohol and lust, “Thank you… Do I get a prize?”_

_“That’s cheesy…”_

_Shrugging, nonplussed, Dani grabbed Alex’s collar, pulling the younger man until their mouths were just millimetres apart, “I don’t care, I still want a prize…”_

_Smashing them together, ignoring the clack of teeth, Dani’s mouth claimed Alex’s, his tongue instantly marauding around, swirling over the younger man’s tongue as his hips canted away from the wall, pushing Alex, giving his hardness a hint of the friction it was so desperate for._

_Sinking into the kiss, Alex’s breath caught as one of Dani’s hands traced down his front, stopped for a second on his jeans, before tugging, hard, until his button popped. Letting his fingers brush over Alex’s cotton covered cock, Dani pulled down Alex’s zip, the sound filling the room, nipping the younger man’s bottom lip with his teeth as he pulled away, “Off. Now…”_

_Pushing down his jeans and boxers Alex’s eyes almost rolled in his head as Dani made a show of pulling a sachet of lube from his bag. Slicking up his fingers the older man chuckled as Alex almost tripped himself up in his desperate rush to rid himself of his socks, before crashing their mouths back together, their tongues battling as Dani’s fingers wandered down his crack, circling his hole with intent, Dani swallowing Alex’s low growl as his finger breached him._

_“You want more baby?”_

_Clinging to Dani, his arms around the older man’s neck, his head on Dani’s shoulder, Alex whimpered, two of Dani’s fingers inside him, crooking to find **that** spot, sending fireworks to his balls as he brushed over it, “Please… Oh god please Dani. Please more. Please fuck me. Please more. Pleaseplease… Oh fuck yes, more fingers, **yes** …”_

_“Oh… Sorry…”_

_His eyes flying open Dani's fingers instantly stilled when he found himself face-to-face with Emilio, his brain screaming at him to let Alex go, Emilio’s eyes drifting down, then snapping back up after he saw, “Emilio…”_

_“Excuse me…”_

_Hearing the door slam, the older man thankfully on the other side, Dani closed his eyes again, the room completely silent except for their breathing, three fingers still buried in Alex, “Oh. My. God.... From now on we always go to my room since Emilio doesn't have a key.”_

_"What did he see?"_

_"Not much..." **Everything. Absolutely everything...** Dani shook his head, slowly pulling out his fingers, the mood completely gone, Alex looking at him, forcing him to nod, "Yeah, sorry, he saw quite a lot..."_

_"Oh my god..." Alex groaned in shame, the idea of Emilio seeing Dani's fingers inside him, **hearing** him beg like a needy wreck, before the bubble of laughter escaped, "Oh my god!"_

*

Stuffed full after dinner, each on their own bed, Marc rolled onto his side, facing Alex’s bed, “On the plane you were saying what happens if you find Dani, do you want to talk about that?”

“I don’t know what to say to be honest,” Rolling on to his side, playing with his phone between his fingers, Alex sighed, “I don’t know what would happen.”

“How do you think you would feel?”

“Happy, so happy,” Alex rolled back onto his back, pondering the question, “Relieved. Relieved that he was ok, that he wasn’t dead and relieved that he wasn’t by himself anymore…. Nervous I suppose… Nervous that he’d have changed. Or I’d have changed…”

Letting Alex think Marc resisted the temptation to fill silence, digging his nails into his palm each time he wanted to speak, knowing it needed to be done in Alex’s way, not his.

“I think we’d worry a lot too,” Putting is phone down, Alex rolled back onto his side, constantly fidgeting, “I think everyone would worry all the time that one day he’d vanish again. That we’d get up and he’d be gone… Curious. Where had he been? What did he do? What happened to him when he was gone?... And… Well… Maybe… A bit... I think... Maybe... I mean, mostly I'd be pleased, but maybe a bit...”

Smiling at his brother Marc nodded, “It’s ok you know. The one you are trying not to say…”

“I feel guilty for thinking it…”

Shaking his head Marc got up, padding across the space and clambering into Alex bed, offering his brother a reassuring hug, “No, you shouldn’t. You don’t have too…”

“Angry…” Biting his cheek Alex shook his head, his eyes glassy, his voice merely a whisper, “Angry that he let me think he was dead when he wasn’t.”

*

“Remember what I said to you in Valencia?”

Helmet on, ready to go to the grid, the weekend passing in a blur of sessions and talking to his brother, Alex nodded, “Yeah.”

“Then I don’t need to repeat myself today…” Marc smiled, Alex’s weekend going well, better than his, “I’ll see you in Parc Ferme.”

Pulling down his visor Alex gave him the thumbs up, the relief of sharing everything, sometimes too many intimate details for Marc’s liking, lifting a weight from his shoulders, and roared out of the garage, fully confident he’d meet his brother as planned.


	23. Sorry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the couple of days of no posting. I'll make up for it!

“What are you doing?” Bleary eyed and half asleep Dani glanced at the alarm clock and groaned, “Morwenna… It’s _three_ am…”

Unbothered Morwenna shrugged, peeling some of Dani’s duvet away from him, “Budge up…”

“Why am I budging at three am?” Trying to pull the duvet over his head Dani almost growled as Morwenna turned on the TV, light filling the room and hurting his eyes, “Morwenna!”

“Quit whinging Pedrosa.”

“What are you doing?” Yawning, Dani stretched out, laughing at Morwenna’s inability not to glance at muscles, “Stop ogling and tell me what you are doing?”

“ **I** am not doing anything,” Slightly nervous as to how the plan would pan out, Morwenna smiled, flicking to the right channel, “ **We** are watching the Moto3 race…”

*

“Yes!” Marc punched the air, before realising where he was, the entire Honda hospitality area turning to look at him, few eyebrows raised in his direction, all of them shrugged off with a smile as Julia came to sit opposite him, “Morning Papa. How is Alex?”

“He’s fine,” Julia smiled, all of them relieved Alex’s warm up spill was very minor, “What are you celebrating?”

“I would tell you, but you’ll think I’ve lost the plot completely…”

“That is not going to happen.”

“It might,” Putting his iPad aside, Marc chuckled, you really might.”

“Not possible,” Julia smirked, part of Marc’s own humour very much coming from his father.

“Oh very good…” Marc rolled his eyes, the gesture more teenager than his advancing years really allowed, “Go on…”

“You lost the plot years ago,” Grinning, proud of his barb despite Marc’s sarcastic yawn, Julia reached over to steal Marc’s coffee, “You shouldn’t drink so much coffee, it’s not good for you.”

*

“Give me five good reasons why not…”

Cross legged and with his arms folded Dani shook his head, “I don’t need to give five reasons. I’m not a toddler and you are not my mother trying to persuade me to eat my veg. I don’t want to watch it; therefore, I don’t have to watch it.”

“I’d like to watch it…”

“Then go home to your own house.”

“That’s pretty rude.”

“So is this!”

“Look Dani…”

“Stop calling me that!” Dani rolled onto his side, bad mood leaving the air in the room tense, “You don’t even know me.”

*

“So you looked them **all** up on Facebook? Every Morwenna?”

“Yep,” Marc laughed, shrugging his shoulders at his father, “I told you you’d think I had lost the plot…”

Julia puffed out his cheeks, shaking his head, “You’re stubborn enough to have found her…”

“It’s a very uncommon name…” Marc cackled, Julia merely shrugging his shoulders at the faux modesty, “Although not as uncommon as you’d think…”

“And?”

“Her profile is pretty private,” Marc admitted, slightly disappointed his search hadn’t brought more results, “Just where she’s from, that she worked in a pub, nothing interesting.”

Julia laughed, not unkindly, at Marc’s pissed off face, “So maybe can you get your focus back on the race? I know helping your brother is important, but there are a lot of points at stake today.”

“You have been spending far too much time with Emilio young man…” Marc smirked, dodging the slap as he got up from his chair, “See you later Papa. I’ll see you in Alex’s box before his race.”

“Stay off the internet!”

*

“Oh fuck! That’s nasty…”

Jumping up, instinct kicking in, Dani winced as a replay of the crash came onscreen, “Yikes…”

“He’s up!” Morwenna let out of a puff of breath, “It’s just heartstoppping when they crash! I bet your Mum is grey after all your years.”

Forgetting himself Dani laughed, “She once said that I should get sponsorship from a hair dye company.”

“Sponsorship must be amazing. Like just getting loads of stuff sent to you for free,” Morwenna rested her head on Dani’s shoulder.

Laughing sarcastically Dani sighed, “Yeah, it really depends what the sponsor is advertising… I once got a _free_ will. I think it was the worst. Although the 583 boxes of dental floss were also a good one.”

“Drowning in dental floss,” Morwenna giggled, the imagine of Dani surrounded by dental floss amusing her, “What was the best one?”

“Probably my watch…” Holding up his wrist, his black and orange watch still proudly wrapped around his wrist, looking a little tatty from decorating and gardening, “Red Bull was pretty good too… I don’t know if I can do this…”

“You can,” Morwenna wrapped her arm around his waist, the pair of them snuggled tightly together, the Moto3 race ending, the sound of Moto2 bikes warming up in the background drowning out the presenters, “If it gets too much we’ll turn it off.”

*

“You got this?”

Nodding, his helmet in his hands ready to go on, Alex smiled, steadfastly ignoring the camera on them, “I think so.”

“Don’t think, know…”

Shaking his head, Alex chuckled before putting his helmet on, “You are annoying sometimes.”

“Yeah well,” Marc shrugged, unbothered, before making everyone in the garage, except Emilio, hoot with laughter as he waved, blew a kiss AND winked at the camera, “I’m your brother I’m meant to be annoying.”

Relaxing, sinking into his race mode, Alex rolled his eyes, tone sarcastic, “Well, like everything else, you are **very** good at it.”

“See you in Parc Ferme bro.”

“Fingers crossed,” Alex beamed, the memory of hitting the podium in the last race, celebrating with his brother, giving him a surge of confidence, “Hopefully one stop higher today.”

“Yeah, give me something to aim at later.”

*

_“Lovely to see the two brothers together pre-race, after the joy of watching them celebrate Alex’s podium last time round. You just always felt there was something missing for them both when they weren’t speaking; even Marc’s title celebrations weren’t as exuberant without his little brother in tow.”_

“Marc won,” Dani smiled, the duvet almost pulled up to his chin, his eyes getting glassy, “I’m glad he won.”

“He’s good?”

“Oh yeah,” Nodding, his eyes locked on the screen, trying to hide the fact he was constantly scanning for a glimpse of Alex, “He’s the best. In time he’ll be the one they talk about as the great one, he’s… Oh…”

“Oh?” Looking back to the screen from Dani, Morwenna smiled softly, seeing instantly what had caught his attention, “Yeah…”

“It’s still there…” The temptation to reach out almost overwhelming, Alex just sitting on his bike, his eyes firmly focussed ahead, not speaking bar the odd word to Guille, a technique he modelled on Dani’s own grid-rituals, Dani felt the lump in his throat get bigger, “Twenty-six…”

“Yeah…”

“He has my number on his leathers still…” Transfixed, even when the camera moved onto another rider, Dani closed his eyes slowly, guilt and sorrow washing over him, one small logo on Alex’s leathers, next to his right shoulder, speaking volumes, “I hurt him so badly leaving…”

“Yeah you did,” Morwenna agreed, absolutely no judgement in her tone, “You can’t keep hurting him. You did the right thing posting your letter…”

“I didn’t post it…”

“What?!”

“I didn’t post it,” His eyes being tightly shut didn’t stop a single tear leaking from Dani’s eyes, it rolling slowly down his cheek as the engines on the screen started to rev, “I burned it on the fire…”

“Why?”

“I don’t know…” Opening his eyes just in time to see Alex take the lead into the first corner Dani felt wretched, the sinking feelings almost the same as the ones when he woke up on his first morning in the cottage, hopelessness and sorrow taking over, “Oh Alex… Come on baby, you can do this, go get that win.”

*

Eric                  Cracked the password! Don’t need to risk running into Raul again

Marc               Excellent! Any new transactions?

Eric                  Lol I didn’t think you’d reply until post-race!

Eric                  And yeah, two. Tesco Penzance and some café somewhere, looks touristy.

Marc               Oh right, I wonder if we could hack his Tesco account jaja. Where was the café?

Eric                  I tried! Don’t know his email address though :( The cafe was in Lamorna Cove, it's a tiny place.

Eric                  I’m guessing no reply means you are busy now! Good luck mate and tell Alex well done!

*

“He did it…” Crawling down the bed, needing to be closer to the TV, Dani smiled proudly, “Well done baby…. He did it Morwenna, he did it…”

Morwenna nodded, waiting for the inevitable tears, “He did… Dani, you need…”

“I know,” Reaching out to touch the screen, remembering the softness of Alex’s skin under his fingertips, Dani beamed and Marquez-esq smile and clapped as Alex hopped up onto the top step of the podium, “I’m so proud of you.”

*

“Lamorna! I knew it! I fucking knew there was a connection!” Shaking his head, not prepared to explain yet, as Jose Luis and Hector jumped out of their skin, them waiting on him supposedly having a quick pee (everyone close to him knowing he really hid for two minutes to calm down and text his Mum), the quick break before finishing his press obligations only giving him a second to hit a Facebook button, before he ran down the corridor, making Hector panic that they were late, before he pointed at his brother, making the entire room laugh, “Who are you and why are you in my press conference?”

“I’m the winner of the Moto2 race today,” Alex chuckled, the photographers loving the smiling, huggy, interaction between them.

“Pleased to meet you,” Marc held out his hand, theatrically shaking Alex’s, “I’m the winner of the MotoGP race today… We must do this again sometime!”

*

“Oh. Shit.”

“What?”

Holding her phone in her hand Morwenna puffed out her cheeks, debating what to do for a few moments before taking the plunge and turning it to show Dani.

**To: **holidaychick@gmail.com****

**Date: 23 rd October 2020 **

**From: Facebook** **[no-reply@facebook.com]**

**Subject: Marquezz Marcc wants to be friends with you**

“Is that?” Morwenna took a sharp breath at Dani’s shaky nod, confirming that the misspelling was Marc's way of keeping his personal Facebook page private, “You ok?”

“Yeah… How did he find you?”

“I don’t know, I told you everything, I promise.”

“Typical Marc, he meets a pretty girl and hunts her down on Facebook…” Dani laughed, the smallest hint of bewilderment in his voice, “He’s so fucking stubborn and persistent...”

“What should I do?”

“Accept it…” Bottle crashing as Morwenna touched the screen Dani almost shrieked, “No! Don’t! I’m not ready yet…”

“Sorry…” Morwenna shrugged, only a little apologetic, “I’ve already accepted it.”


	24. Monday

Marquezz

| 

You are not so easy to track down  
  
---|---  
  
Morwenna

| 

And yet you managed it… Well done on your win by the way. Assuming it is really you  
  
Marquezz

| 

You been reading anymore books?  
  
Marquezz

| 

And if I’m right you already know it’s me because someone told you so…  
  
Morwenna

| 

No, no more books  
  
Marquezz

| 

Does he know you’ve added me?  
  
Morwenna

| 

Yes  
  
Marquezz

| 

Is that why you came to find me?  
  
Morwenna

| 

No, I didn’t deliberately bump into you. He didn’t know that had happened until after. Until Misano I didn’t know who he was  
  
Marquezz

| 

So you’ve only met him a few weeks?  
  
Morwenna

| 

No.  
  
Morwenna

| 

Look, he’s not ready yet. I need to give him some time before I tell you the story. If I push too hard he’ll spook and run  
  
Marquezz

| 

How do I know you are for real? That Dani is safe and I can trust you not to be a journalist or someone out to cause trouble?  
  
Morwenna

| 

I guess you don’t really. You just have to trust me  
  
Marquezz

| 

I will have to tell my brother I’ve spoken to you and that you know where Dani is.  
  
Morwenna

| 

I know. Dani wouldn’t want you to lie to your brother. He knows that Alex needs his brother, despite the pranks you pull on him  
  
Marquezz

| 

Knowing about the horn doesn’t convince me of anything. That is online  
  
Morwenna

| 

The time you glued his trainers to the floor isn’t on the internet  
  
Marquezz

| 

No, it’s not.  
  
Morwenna

| 

Nor is the time you and Alex put itching powder in your cousin’s boxers and then had to take him to hospital because he had a bad reaction and couldn’t sit for a week  
  
Marquezz

| 

How long does he need?  
  
Morwenna

| 

I don’t know. I’ll message you tomorrow. He usually thinks a lot overnight  
  
Marquezz

| 

If you disappear I will find you. I’ll start in the pub you worked in and go from there…  
  
Morwenna

| 

The pub is owned by my parents so you’ll not have to go far.  
  
Marquezz

| 

Is he ok?  
  
Morwenna

| 

Yeah, I think so.  
  
Marquez

| 

Is he going to vanish again overnight?  
  
Morwenna

| 

No. He’s not ready today, but I think he wants to come home. He’s been struggling a bit since I told him about Alex not doing too great.  
  
Marquezz

| 

Is that why he changed his banking routine?  
  
Morwenna

| 

Yes, he’s all out of kilter. I’ll message you tomorrow.  
  
 

*

“What’s going on?” Eyeing his brother with suspicion, Marc twitchy, something clearly going on, sitting in a hotel room having just arrived at Sepang, Alex raised his eyebrow, “Marc?”

Sitting on the sofa, trying to plan his words, grand explanations putting themselves together, Marc smiled nervously, “I’ve found Dani.”

“WHAT?!”

The sound echoing around the whitewashed walls, Alex started to fire questions at him, Marc held his hand up, silencing him for a second, answering the repeated ‘how?’, “The girl that I met in Aragon…”

“The one you told Papa about?”

“Yeah,” Marc nodded, hoping he could explain it in a way that didn’t sound completely batshit, “There was just something about her. She tried to say she was talking about a friend, but I realised later that she answered too quickly, when I said that people were hurting she said ‘He didn’t mean to hurt anyone’ straight away.”

“And she knows where Dani is? Are you sure?” Guarding himself against disappointment Alex’s voice was tentative, “Is he ok?”

“She said he’s ok. She didn’t know who he was until recently. She said he’s not ready yet, today, to speak, but she’s going to message me tomorrow.

“Is he ok?”

“She says he is.”

“Where is he?”                                                                     

“He’s in Cornwall, like you and Eric thought,” Marc bit his lip, wondering how Alex was going to react once he processed the information, “She said he’s out of his routine just now. She went to Misano; I think that must be when she found out who he was. She said hearing about you has knocked him out of kilter.”

“What’s kilter?”

“Routine I think.”

“Right,” Contemplative Alex nodded, his hands trembling, relief and a myriad of other emotions flooding through him, “He’s not dead…”

“No, he’s not.”

“That’s good,” Alex stood up, pulling his t-shirt over his head, “I’m going for a shower.”

“Sure…” Marc watched his brother pad into the bathroom, desperately hoping he hadn’t just undone all the progress they’d recently made.

*

Sitting on the top step Dani pulled the blanket around his shoulders, the sun starting to creep over the horizon, sleep elusive. Focussing on nothing, his mind just full of questions and emotions, he lifted his head as he heard footsteps crunching on the gravel behind him, “I’d rather be alone Morwenna.”

“Ok,” Wrapping another blanket around him, bigger than the first so instantly making him feel warmer, Morwenna leant down to kiss his head, “Let me know if you need anything.”

Nodding, Dani closed his eyes, forcing himself to be brave, “I rewrote the letter. It’s saved on your laptop. Can you send it to him please?”

“Of course.”

“Tell him that he doesn’t have to read it,” His voice wobbly, nerves making his whole body tremble, Dani kept his eyes firmly ahead, “Tell him I’ll understand if he doesn’t.”

“I will. Are you ok?”

“No. But I’m probably better than Alex is, and that’s not fair. Please just go. I don’t mean to be rude, but…”

“Yell if you need anything.”

*

Morwenna

| 

He’s written a letter for Alex. Can you give me an email address I can send it too?  
  
---|---  
  
Marquezz

| 

[squeakyshoes@hotmail.com](mailto:squeakyshoes@hotmail.com)  
  
Marquezz

| 

Is he ready for this now?  
  
Morwenna

| 

I don’t think he is, but he said he’s probably doing better than Alex and that’s not fair  
  
Marquezz

| 

That sounds very Dani-ish.  
  
Morwenna

| 

He said that I was to tell him he doesn’t have to read it, he’ll understand if he doesn’t.  
  
Marquezz

| 

I’ll tell him.  
  
 

*

“Hey,” Padding out onto the balcony, Alex curled up on the comfortable chair, legs crossed, his hoodie on for comfort despite the heat, Marc lean against the door, “Are you ok?”

Shaking his head, Alex looked up, tear stains on his face, “He’s not dead Marc.”

“I know,” Moving to sit on the edge of the seat, taking his brother’s hand, Marc chewed on his lip, “You read it?”

Nodding, his tongue pressing against his lip, trying to stifle more tears, Alex’s voice was stuttery, “He said that he was scared that being outed would wreck my career. And he realised that he’d answered the question about Jorge wrong.”

“He lied to you.”

“Not deliberately,” Alex smiled weakly, glad that it wasn’t a lie, “He thought I was asking if he’d loved anyone in the paddock before. He didn’t love Jorge.”

“Well,” Marc faltered, guilt making his stomach churn, “That’s good.”

“It’s not good Marc. None of it is _good_. He’s been living in a cottage in a tiny village with a fake name, cut off from everyone, for all this time because he was scared.” Alex wiped his face with his sleeve, the cuff of his hoodie already damp from before, “Do you know that Morwenna was all just a coincidence?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s known him for three years, but thought he was called Xavier Ramos. She sussed that it wasn’t his name and he told her he was called Dani before she went on a trip to Europe.”

“Oh right?”

“She went to Italy, someone told her she should go to Misano…”

“And she learned who Dani really was?” Marc puffed out his cheeks, the co-incidences somehow scary, probably because they could have so easily been missed, “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“So what now?”

“He says it’s up to me,” Alex chewed on the inside of his cheek, not even wincing at the pain, “He says he’ll come back to Spain, face the music, and then what happens next is my choice. He’ll disappear from my life again, go to Geneva and understand if I never speak to him again or…”

“Or?”

“Or he’ll spend the rest of our lives trying to make it up to me…”

“So wh… Alex?” Frowning as his brother jumped to his feet, Marc moved back, letting him past, “You ok?”

“Yeah, I just need a shower.”

*

Marquezz

| 

Is Dani doing ok?  
  
---|---  
  
Morwenna

| 

Not really. He’s just in the shower. He’ll have no skin left at this rate. Did Alex read it?  
  
Marquezz

| 

They are so alike. Alex is in the shower again as well. He read it.  
  
Morwenna

| 

Is he ok?  
  
Marquezz

| 

Honestly I don’t know. I think he’s still trying to compute that Dani really is still alive.  
  
Morwenna

| 

Did I do the right thing? Encouraging and pushing Dani to make contact?  
  
Marquezz

| 

Completely. We were searching for him anyway. We discovered recently that he had left, rather than anything happening to him. You just helped, a lot.  
  
Morwenna

| 

That’s good. I felt like I was meddling, but instinct just said I should  
  
Marquezz

| 

Well I’m glad you did.  
  
Morwenna

| 

Good. If you or Alex need me you can call my mobile on 0044 7506 211 503  
  
Marquezz

| 

I’ll write it down.  
  
 

*

“Hello..”

“Hello, can I speak to Dddani please?”

“Sure,” Turning on the sofa Morwenna smiled nervously, Dani’s face ashen, the call catching him completely off guard, “It’s for you…”

Taking the phone with trembling hands, Dani cursed the croak that came out, “Hhheello?”

“Dani?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s really you?”

“It’s really me.”

“It’s Alex…”

“I know,” Dani bit on his lip, a tear escaping the corner of his eye, “Are you ok?”

“I think so. Are you?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you are not dead.”

“I’m sorry I put you through that. I just thought…”

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to talk about this on the phone with oceans and continents between us…”

“Ok. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“I’ll be home on Monday.”

“Ok.”

“Will you be home on Monday?”

“Do you want me to be home on Monday?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll be home on Monday.”

 


	25. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much!

“You ok?” Taking Dani’s hand, the pair of them in their seats on the flight to Spain, Morwenna squeezed it gently, “Dani?”

Turning around, his lip so bitten it was starting to swell, Dani looked, and felt terrified, “What if they hate me?”

“If they hated you they wouldn’t have been looking for you. It’ll be alright.”

“I might get sent to prison.”

“We’ve been through this,” Kind, but firm, Morwenna shook her head, “It’s not illegal to run away if you are an adult. You didn’t open any bank accounts or get fake documents in Xavier’s name so you’ve done nothing illegal.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know… It’s not going to be easy, but you said that facing this was better than living in the cottage, alone, forever…”

“I know,” Dani shook his head, wishing he didn’t feel so exposed on the flight, “I just… I don’t know what to say to them. To Alex… My Mama…”

“Just say whatever comes into your head.”

“Ladies and gentlemen please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for our descent into Barcelona El Prat. You’ll be pleased to know that it’s a warm, sunny and dry day in Spain.”

*

“Papa…” Dani faltered, having planned on having a few moments in the car outside the house before he went in, “You are smoking?”

Chucking the cigarette aside, Antonio shook his head, closed his eyes and then opened them again, “I was planning on giving you a bollocking.”

“It’d be completely deserved…” Shame faced, Dani wiped his eyes, “Papa I’m…”

Hauling Dani into a hug, surprising his son with the demonstrative move, Antonio kissed his head, “Christ son I’ve missed you.”

*

“Don’t be nervous,” His voice laced with emotion, Antonio patted Dani’s shoulder, both of them heading indoors with tear-stained face, “There are questions, but today we just want to see you, touch you and believe it…”

“Thank you Papa…” Heading along the hallway Dani’s entire body was shaking, leaving him grateful the lounge door was open, unsure he’d have had the steadiness to open it otherwise. Pausing for a second he composed himself, before stepping through, promptly bursting into tears as his mother crumpled to the floor in front of him, her tears of relief echoing through the whole house. Dropping down in front of her Dani wrapped her in the strongest hug he could muster, joining her in tears, “I’m sorry Mama.”

“My baby!” Reaching for Dani’s face, one hand on each cheek, Basilia sobbed hard, almost disbelieving her own eyes and touch, “My baby boy. Oh Daniel. Promise me it’s you. Promise me it’s not a trick.”

“It’s not a trick Mama,” His heart-breaking, the true impact of his decision hitting him, hard, in the chest, Dani closed his eyes, letting his mother rock him until she was calmer, “I’m sorry Mama.”

“Ssh,” Basilia shook her head, not caring about the tears and snot on her face, “I don’t care about yesterday son. I just want you home. Go and see your brother and Alex, they are in the garden.”

“Mama, I…”

“Go. I’ll be fine.”

Getting up, passing his father in the doorway, Dani stood for a second, his feet concreted to the floor, his heart breaking as he heard his parents embrace each other, both of them sobbing hard, relief clear in their voice, the guilt knowing he had done that to them weighing heavy in his heart.

“Dani?”

Looking up, his brother appearing in front of him, Dani smiled, not really knowing what to do or say, “Hi.”

“Why?” Hardening his face, emotion clear in his eyes, Eric shook his head, “Why would you do that to us?”

“I thought…” Shaking his head, tears still rolling down his face, guilt making his stomach flip, Dani shrugged his shoulders, “I fucked up.”

“You had no right to fuck up,” Eric shook his head, tears escaping from his face, the venom gone from his voice, “That’s my job in this family. You are the success, I’m the twat on Instagram. That’s the rules Dani…”

“You’re not a fuck up.”

“I am, so you can’t be again… Promise?”

Dani nodded, opening his arms and praying Eric would accept a hug, “Promise.”

“Cool,” Hugging his brother briefly, Eric tipped his head toward the garden, “Go put Alex out of his misery please.”

*

Nodding to Marc, the elder of the two brothers going inside, Dani stood in his parents’ garden, Alex on the path in front of him, “Hi.”

“Hi…” Alex laughed incredulously, shaking his head, “He vanishes for more than three years and the first thing he says is ‘hi’… Fucking hell Dani.”

Looking down, feeling about three inches tall, Dani shrugged sadly, “I don’t think anything would be the right thing to say. Hi. Sorry. It’s me… It doesn’t change anything.”

“No,” Alex pushed his hands into his pockets, desperate to reach out and touch him, but scared, “I suppose not. Are you ok?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you home for good? You won’t vanish again?”

“I won’t. I prom…”

Cutting off Dani’s words Alex attacked the shorter man with a kiss. Three years of hurt and pain and regret surging through them both as hands found their way into hair, tugging and pulling as their tongues wrestled, Alex desperate to be reminded how Dani felt and tasted, his mouth getting more demanding as his fingers pressed harder and tugged firmer, as emotion built and built, everything swirling into a ball in his stomach, churning around before he snapped, pulling away, Dani on the ground before he realised what he’d done, “Dani…”

“I’m ok…” Clutching his face, the punch not as hard as it could have been, Dani dragged himself up off the ground, “It’s ok…”

Looking at his own hand Alex looked bereft, his voice merely a whisper, “I hit you…”

“Alex…” Guilt racing through him as Alex spun to the side, vomiting in Basilia’s roses, Dani closed his eyes, tears pooling in them, wondering, once again, if he’d done the wrong thing.

*

“Hello again…”

Looking up, having milled around in the hallway, looking at the family photographs on the wall, not wanting to intrude on a very private day, but Dani having insisted she come with him, Morwenna smiled, “Hi.”

“Thank you for bringing him home,” Marc leant against the bannister, every instinct in his body wanting to spy on Alex and Dani to make sure his brother was ok, “You think he’ll be ok?”

“I think so,” Morwenna smiled fondly, “He’s a tough cookie.”

“He is that,” Marc laughed softly, “So is Alex so…”

“Maybe there is hope for them. I know that’s Dani’s dream…”

“Well, it’s Alex’s too so here’s hoping.”

“Yeah,” Morwenna laughed, the conversation strangely awkward, “So, do you often manage to track down people on Facebook when you only know their first name?”

“Ha!” Marc chuckled, blushing a little, before tilting his head and smirking, “Only a few.”

“Morwenna?”

Both of them turning to the hall, Alex appearing in front of them, Morwenna smiled, “That’d be me.”

“Thank you for bringing him home.”

“You’re welcome. He’d have come home eventually; I just gave him a prod… Where is he?”

“He’s getting some ice,” Biting his lip, the guilty look on his face making Morwenna want to cry for him, “I punched him…”

“Well, that’s pretty understandable…”

“Is it?” Alex sounded sad, shaking his head, “I thought if this day ever happened it would just be one hundred percent happy, but…”

“But I hurt you…” Emerging from the kitchen, some ice in a towel against his face, Dani smiled fondly at Alex, “Don’t feel guilty. You’re here, that’s more than I deserve…”

“Why are you all in the h… What happen… I said no questions today…” Basilia trailed off.

“I think you all have questions,” Dani smiled kindly at his mother, lifting the ice pack to show her, and Alex, that he was ok, “So why don’t we all sit down together and I’ll try and answer some of them?”

*

“What are you going to do now son?” Sat opposite Dani, the seven of them on the sofas and chairs, Dani having spent the last hour telling them about his life in Cornwall and answering their questions, umpteen breaks taken for tears, Antonio probed gently, “What are your plans?”

“I don’t have any,” Glancing to his left to Alex briefly, Dani played with his hands, his fingers twitchy, “The only thing I want to do is somehow make it up to you all.”

“What about your career?”

Smiling at Alex, a lump in his throat, Dani shook his head, “It’s done. I’m too old, I’ve been away too long… It’s someone else’s turn now.”

“Right,” Eyes locked on each other, both of them slightly regretting not meeting privately, Alex nodded, “Okay.”

“It’s getting late,” Patting his wife’s hand Antonio smiled at Dani, “We’ll see you in the morning son.”

“I’ll be here,” Getting up Dani hugged both of his parents, before sitting back down.

“Boys, don’t even think about driving back to Cervera or Andorra tonight…” Stopping in the doorway Basilia addressed Alex and Marc, “I’ll give you a row if you do and Roser will do the same.”

All of them chuckling softly at the threat, all except Morwenna knowing it was completely true, Marc answered, “We’ll grab a hotel.

“You will not,” Basilia wagged her finger in Marc’s direction, “If you don’t arrive at my breakfast table bleary eyed and trying to politely not mention the amount of junk in my spare room I’ll be deeply offended Marc Marquez! That goes for you too Alex, and you Morwenna. Although there are only two spare rooms…”

“We’ll work it out Mama,” Eric laughed softly, earning himself ‘the look’ from his mother, “Good night.”

Waiting until his parents were out of earshot Dani dropped his head onto the table, tears streaming down his face, “She looks so old… I did that to her…”

“Dani…” Reaching for her friend, Morwenna pulled her hand away, nodding to Alex, his arm snaking around Dani’s waist, pulling him in, the emotion of the day taking over them both, slowly curling around each other, the sobs getting louder, apologies and angry words firing back and forth.

Standing at the door, discretely leaving the other two to it, the trio watched on as Dani and Alex slid to the floor, Alex holding Dani, each of them clinging to the other, fearful to let go, not noticing the other three disappearing to their beds, Eric showing Marc and Morwenna where to go, leaving them to it.

*

“Dani?”

Lying on his side, trying not to move, Alex having agreed to share on the agreement that they behaved, both accepting there was a long path ahead of them, the younger man just not wanting to disturb his snoring brother, Dani yawned, “Yeah?”

“Do you still love me?”

His heart aching at the worry in Alex’s voice, Dani reached out, taking Alex’s hand, “Yes. I never stopped.”

“Are you scared?” The dark giving him a cloak of invisibility, Alex rolled onto his side, able to feel the heat from Dani’s body coming toward him, “I’m scared.”

“I’m terrified…”

“Was there… While you were away I mean? Did you?”

“A couple of times with Morwenna,” Dani screwed his eyes shut, praying honesty was the right answer.

“Morwenna?”

“Yeah. I was the gay guy unable to be gay in the village for fear of people finding out. She was the gay girl unable to be gay in the village for fear of people finding out…”

“She’s gay? Really?” Alex ‘hmmed’, “I thought her and Marc might…”

Dani chuckled, “I got punched last week for commenting that she seemed to be enjoying Marc’s physique a little too much… And she hooked up with a guy in Italy.”

“You seem to be getting punched a lot recently…”

“I deserved it, both times.”

Alex laughed softly, the sound warming Dani’s heart, their fingers intertwining, “You aren’t going to ask me?”

“I don’t know if I’ve got the right to ask anything of you Alex.”

“Oh,” The contrition in Dani’s voice making him sad, Alex squeezed his hand, “You can ask. If it’s too much or too soon then I’ll tell you… And I did, a couple of times, but nothing serious.”

“Oh,” Unsure if he felt grateful there was no-one else or sad that Alex had been alone, Dani stayed silent, squeezing his hand in return.

“Dani?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I move a bit closer?”

“Of course you can.”

“Thanks,” Rearranging himself, his head on Dani’s shoulder, Dani’s arm wrapped around him, Alex rested his hand on Dani’s chest, able to feel the reassuring thump of Dani’s heartbeat under his fingers, “I’m glad you are home.”

“I’m glad too.”

“I don’t know what is going to happen,” Alex’s voice seemed booming loud in the dark room, making them both startle, “I really don’t, but whatever happens I am glad you are home. Good night Dani.”

“Night Alex,” Bravery taking over Dani pressed a kiss to Alex’s head, lying awake, just listening to Alex’s breathing slow slightly until the rhythmic sound told that the younger man was asleep. Wrapping his arms around him slightly tighter, not enough to wake him, Dani let the tears stream down his face, over three long years of missing this finally over, the worry of the future at the back of his mind, but focussing on reminding himself of all the little things; Alex’s smell, the feel of his hair under Dani’s chin, the weight of his head on his shoulder, the things that mean so little until they are gone.


	26. I promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... It's that time *sniff*. I have loved this story. For some reason the idea grabbed me and then you have all been so wonderful. Life is pretty tough right now and normally I use writing to escape, but I couldn't find a way to escape - until this one. I've gone over and over in my head the ending and the one thing I'm scared of doing is ruining it, because I think for a long time to come this story is going to be special to me. I started writing it in a place, and on a trip, that meant so much. I sat on the cliff tops and cried hard about the situation my husband is in and somehow I managed, I think, to pour the sadness and desperation and anger and everything into it. I don't want to run it on too long and trash it, but I am going to do some follow ups - for this Alex is going back to being #12. So this story is Dani's #26, the follow ups will be Alex's #12.
> 
> I will reply to your amazing comments soon. Just now I can hardly see the screen. Thank you. 
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Yawning, no idea of the time, Dani’s eyes fluttered open, his face creasing in confusion for a few seconds before tears pooled in his eyes at the same time as a smile pulled at his lips, “Hey…”

“I can’t believe you are really here, that it’s really you…” Reaching out to touch Dani’s face Alex’s eyes drifted shut, his fingertips tracing over Dani’s cheek bones and down his jaw, retracing a familiar path that had become slightly forgotten in the pass of time, “I was so scared you’d be gone when I woke up this morning.”

Turning his head slightly to kiss Alex’s hand, Dani shook his head, guilt swirling like curdled milk in his stomach, “I won’t ever do that to you again. I’m so sorry. I thought it would be better for you without me.”

“How could you ever think that?” Laughing, the sound a mix of incredulity and amazement, his brow furrowing in confusion, Alex shook his head, “I was lost without you.”

“I was pretty lost with you too.”

“You know it’s not going to be easy, don’t you?” His fingers resting on Dani’s neck, thumb drifting over the older man’s jaw, rubbing over the soft bristles of morning stubble, Alex’s nose crinkled, “I can’t believe you are home… I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Reaching out, his hand grazing Alex’s waist as he wrapped his arm around the younger man, pulling him closer, the gap between their mouths just a few inches, “I know it won’t be easy. I meant what I said before, I’ll do whatever it takes, for however long it takes… Anything that means you don’t hate me…”

“I don’t hate you,” Alex interrupted, his eyes wide, the situation over-whelming in so many ways, “I don’t hate you. I’m angry at you. I’m beyond angry at Raul, I’ll never forgive him…”

“He was doing what I asked…” Dani frowned, suddenly not as sure, “Although he was supposed to tell me if you ever got hurt…”

“I nearly died…”

“No,” Dani’s voice dropped to a tiny whisper, his arms instinctively pulling Alex tighter still, their chests touching, “He should have told me.”

“He told Marc he thought you were dead,” His voice cold, angry as he remembered the conversation with his brother, Alex’s fingers dug into Dani’s neck, clinging on, his nails leaving tiny crescent shaped marks, “Marc thought I was going to die and Raul told him that…”

“I’m sorry, I should have been there,” Dani’s face creased in sadness, “I didn’t know. Until Morwenna sent me a link after Misano, I didn’t know. I’d have come home.”

“Would you?”

“Yes,” Confident and sure Dani nodded, “It was the one thing I knew would fuck up the plan. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay away so Raul promised he’d give me the inside info so I didn’t blow it all up for a grazed knee…”

“Oh Dani,” Alex leant his forehead against Dani’s, both of them closing their eyes, “I was so angry with you for not being there. I was angry at everyone. I don’t deal with injury very well.”

“I know.”

“You don’t,” Alex bit his lip, “Marc lied to you. The person who couldn’t cope in 2011 was him. Not me.”

“No!” Anguished, Dani’s shout was loud, probably enough to wake several people, but still they didn’t move, tears spilling from the older man’s eyes, “That was the final straw… I knew I had to do something then… I thought…”

“I know…” Alex opened his eyes, his breath catching when Dani did likewise, “I know why you did it.”

“Alex, I…”

“Shut up Dani.”

“But.”

“Just,” Sliding his hand behind Dani’s head, his fingers sliding through his hair, Alex shook his head, his tongue darting out to dampen his lips, “Sssh…”

Whimpering slightly as Alex’s mouth pressed onto his, Dani’s heart almost exploded, the softness of Alex’s lips on his, the younger man’s tongue flicking out, gently, almost tentative, sparking Dani’s to life, them swirling around each other like some sort of dance as the taste of salt mingled with the taste of each other, each of them holding back a little, nervous, until Alex pulled away, pressing their foreheads together, “Is it really selfish of me to ask you to leave here tonight? Come to mine? I can’t… Not with your parents here… I don’t know… How it’ll go, what will happen, I can’t promise I won’t get angry, although I do promise I won’t hit you again. I’m **so** sorry I did that…”

“Don’t be,” Dani’s hand rubbed soothing circles on Alex’s back, “Don’t ever be sorry for your reaction because I deserved worse. If you’d punched me multiple times and left, then that would be understandable…”

“My hand kind of hurts…” Alex laughed softly, smiling at Dani across the pillow, “Tonight?”

“I’ll have to get rid of Morwenna somehow, but yeah, god yes. Any time with you is… It’s more than I ever expected.”

“Bring Morwenna, Marc will come too, no point him going back to Andorra when we’ve got to leave for Valencia in a few days.”

“Fuck,” Dani’s blood ran cold, the thought of facing everyone, the public, making him shiver, “I forgot about that.”

“Don’t think about it today,” Alex smiled, the wide goofy smile that Dani just adored on him, “Today is a day for good stuff.”

“Speaking of good stuff…” Dani sniffed the air, the smile accompanied by glassy eyes once more, “She’s making my breakfast…”

“I’ll shower after breakfast,” Hopping out of bed Alex made for the door, laughing as Dani jumped out his side, shoulders barging in the doorway, Basilia’s breakfast spread legendary, a brief moment where they both forgot the stresses of everything as they raced down the stairs.

*

“I’m sorry…” Standing behind his mother, Basilia sobbing at the sink as she washed the breakfast dishes, having refused all help from the boys and Morwenna, Dani wrapped his arms around her, his head resting on her shoulder, “I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done, what I put you all through…”

“Promise me Daniel…” Basilia turned in his embrace, tears streaming down her face, her emotions all over the place, “Promise me if things ever get so bad again you’ll talk to us… Just to know you were safe… Not in river or off a bridge…”

“Oh Mama,” Dani hugged his mother tight, both of them crying together, “I promise. I promise you.”

“Good,” Stepping back Basilia wiped her face, “You and Alex have a lot to talk about… I know I was a little sceptical at first because of the age thing, but that boy missed you…”

“I know,” Breaking eye contact with his mother, the embarrassment too much, Dani’s voice was stuttery, “I’ll make it up to him. Somehow. I don’t know how… He wants us to go to his house tonight. Talk without everyone around. Is that ok?”

“You are a grown man Dani; you don’t need my permission…”

“You called me Dani,” Dani smiled, both of them with glistening eyes, “Does that mean I’m not in trouble anymore Mama?”

“Oh my boy,” Shaking her head Basilia cupped his face in her hands again, looking at him until Dani gave in and caught her eye, “Yesterday was the best day of my life… When you were born, and your brother, I was so happy, because I had a new little person in my life. Yesterday… Yesterday was even more than that because I had my Dani back in my life… You’re not in trouble, you were never in trouble, I just wanted my baby back because I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” Laughing as his mother wiped his tears with her thumbs, childhood memories flooding back to him, Dani shrugged his shoulders, “I was so stupid. So so stupid.”

“You came home. That’s what counts now. Go with Alex, get to his house before the press realise you are back and start sniffing around. His silly gates will come in handy for once.”

“Silly gates,” Dani frowned, confused by another thing he’d missed, “What’s the story with the gates?”

“You’ll see when you get there,” Basilia’s face showed a hint of a smile, “The only person that likes Alex’s house is Jorge.”

“Jorge?”

“It makes his house look tasteful…” Basilia chuckled at Dani’s face, “Go on, go.”

*

“Wow…” Getting out of the car Dani looked at Alex’s house, bought in a fit of temper when he was hating the world and everyone in it, “That’s… Different…”

“That’s one word for it!” Marc cackled, nudging Alex’s shoulder as he walked past him, “The inside is thankfully less _bright_ …”

“It’s a shit house…” Alex admitted, shrugging his shoulders, suddenly feeling self-conscious, the house the biggest sign to the world of how little he’d coped over the past few years, “It was already yellow though, that wasn’t my way of having a dig at Marc, no matter what the papers say…”

“Was it what you needed at the time?” Morwenna smiled, her friendly, bubbly nature helping her fit in, like the last corner the trio needed to become a square, she nodded when Alex did, “Then that’s all that matters.”

“I like her,” Alex laughed, linking arms with the Cornish woman, “Can we keep her?”

“I’m not a pet…” Morwenna pouted, raising an eyebrow when Alex patted her head, “Careful Mr, you need legs to ride bikes…”

*

“I hate this house…” Sitting on the sofa, Morwenna subtly leaving them to talk by going for a smoke, Marc leaving them not-so-subtly by just saying he was going for a wander, Alex looked around the room, everything bright, gaudy and expensive, “Emilio almost laid an egg when I bought it.”

“I can imagine,” Dani chuckled, bottle of beer in hand, a weird awkwardness settling between them, each of them at opposite ends of the sofa.

“I think it’ll take longer to sell than Jorge’s house did…”

“Impossible.”

“That did take a while,” Picking at the label on his bottle Alex tried to be casual, knowing his voice would give him away, “Have you told him you are back?”

“Jorge?” Dani looked surprised, the let out a puff of air as he shook his head, “No. Jorge isn’t important to me, not like you are. The only people I care about right now are you, Eric and my parents. That’s it. No-one else counts.”

“Did you mean to lie?” Feeling about twelve, but needing to ask, Alex sounded pensive, “When I asked you?”

“No,” Dani shook his head, his voice confident and adamant, “I thought you were asking if I’d ever loved anyone else in the paddock… And I hadn’t. I haven’t. Ever.”

“Right.”

“Tell me what you want me to do…”

“Right now?” Alex blushed, biting on his bottom lip, “I want you to kiss me. Touch me. Drag me to bed and make me forget about all this time…”

“That’s not the sensible option,” Dani reached into the middle of the sofa, turning his hand palm up, not daring to look at Alex due to the temptation to just jump on him, “The sensible option is to talk. A lot. Make a plan…”

“I don’t know what I want tomorrow or the next day…” Putting his hand on top of Dani’s, their fingers interlacing, the touch making them both shut their eyes for a second, Alex dropped his voice to a whisper, “I only know what I want now…”

“What do you want now?”

Standing up, keeping Dani’s hand, Alex tugged him to stand, sharing a look that said more than words could, both accepting it wasn’t the best idea, both binning the idea of being sensible, both in full agreement as Alex started toward the door, heading for the stairs, sensibilities forgotten.

*

“That’s bad for you, you know?”

Clutching her hand to her chest, glad she stifled the squawk, Morwenna slapped Marc’s arm, “So are heart attacks!”

“You alright, you’ve gone a bit pale,” Laughing hard, Marc winced as he was slapped again, “You know it’s rude to hit people…”

Shrugging, taking another drag on her cigarette, her heart racing, genuinely not having heard Marc creep up on her, Morwenna looked non-plussed, “I’m sure the jury would understand.”

“Hmmm…” Sitting on the bench next to her, Marc looked at her curiously, “So what’s the deal with you and Dani then?”

“What do you mean?”

“Alex told me you two…” Tilting his head Marc blushed at Morwenna’s raised eyebrow, “I’m just making conversation.”

“So, you make conversation with a stranger by asking about their sex life, but **I’m** the rude one?” Morwenna nodded, making a face at Marc, “Maybe you are as weird as the Italians told me you were.”

“I bet weird wasn’t the word they used…” Marc cackled, long since stopped bothering about the hatred aimed at him by sections of the support, “Come on then, you and Dani, what’s the deal?”

“I’m not going to steal him from your brother if that’s what you are worried about… We were two lonely, and often bored, people in the same place at the same time.”

“And it’s not weird, seeing him with Alex,” Marc winced as a door slammed, both of them knowing instantly it was a bedroom door, “Or _hearing_ him with Alex…”

Morwenna laughed, shaking her head, “No. It’s good. I mean seeing him home, not hearing him… He was sad in Cornwall. He lived in the most beautiful cottage in the most beautiful place in the world and he was sad; that wasn’t right.”

“Thank you for bringing him home.”

“Thank you for helping me bring him home.”

“Well then,” Marc grinned, diving up to the door to grab two beers, opening both before handing one to Morwenna, “I think this calls for a toast… To us. Magical homecoming helping people.”

“You’re insane,” Morwenna laughed, hard, as she clinked bottles with Marc, “To us.”

*

“ _Please…_ Alex…” Dani writhed on the bed, both of them naked, their jaws aching from kissing, Alex on top of him, their cocks rubbing together, the friction not quite enough as Dani’s fingers traced the new scars on Alex’s back, Alex’s mouth nipping and biting over Dani’s chest, focussing on his nipple, “Please…”

Leaning up on his knees, his hair ruffled and his lips swollen, Alex licked his lips, before shuffling down the bed, grabbing Dani’s ankles to hold them apart as his mouth latched onto the inside of Dani’s knee. Nibbling gently, Alex fought back the tears as he heard the sounds he never thought he’d hear again, Dani begging for more, coming apart underneath him as he licked and sucked up the inside of Dani’s thigh, firming his grip on Dani’s ankles as he reached the apex where leg met pelvis, Dani’s skin there always sensitive, making him curse as Alex’s teeth grazed, then his tongue lavishly soothed it.

“Please Alex… I… Oh god…” Slamming his head back as Alex’s hot mouth descended on his balls Dani cursed, Alex’s tongue hot and damp as it switched between tiny flicks and long licks, each time getting lower, before finding _that_ spot behind his balls, lavishing attention on it in way that made Dani’s toes curl into the sheet, his hands on Alex’s head, resting in his hair, occasionally scrabbling at his scalp, the sound of his begging filling the room.

Pressing Dani’s ankles apart, his feet on the bed, the message very clear Alex slid his hands under Dani, fingers digging into his cheeks, pulling them apart as his tongue swiped lower, Dani’s pained wails spurring him on, wanting and needing more, but knowing that rushing would lead to regret. Spitting on his finger he rubbed it over Dani’s hole, the sound almost making him cum on the spot, Dani somehow finding lube in the bedside cabinet, throwing it in Alex’s direction with a litany of swear filled pleas.

*

“Budge up…” Plonking herself next to Marc on the swing in the garden, Morwenna pulled a face, lifting her feet over the Spaniard’s lap, “Hearing them is not good…”

Marc cackled loud, nodding as he accepted the new beer she’d brought out, “I know. For two quiet guys…”

“Nothing quiet about whoever is screaming right now.”

Teasing, enjoying the banter between them, Marc laughed, “The other one must have a busy tongue.”

“Are you trying to gross me out?”

“Is it working?”

“No,” Morwenna looked Marc square in the face, “As my boss and his cousin found out in Italy I’m _very_ difficult to gross out.”

“Oh really?” Settling one hand on her leg, bare skin thanks to shorts, Marc nodded, “I shall remember that.”

*

“ _Dani…_ ” Their foreheads pressed together, his full length buried inside Dani, Alex felt a tear roll down his cheek, “I thought you were dead…”

Wrapping his legs around Alex’s waist, the preparation slow and sometimes rough, Dani kissed the younger man softly, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry baby.”

“Don’t leave me again,” Rolling his hips slightly, both of them cursing, the sensibility of not bothering with condoms forgotten in the gloriousness of truly feeling each other again, Alex whispered, “Please.”

“I won’t,” Lifting his hips to match Alex, the air around them stifling, his lungs burning, skin on fire, everything too much and not enough at the same time, Dani sobbed, “I promise.”

“Please…” Alex let out a cry, the pain and hurt coming out as he moved, sliding himself out slowly to thrust back in, the sound of skin slapping skin echoing around.”

“I won’t.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you so much.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I missed you.”

“I’m home.”

“Please don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise…”

“I promise.”

“Dani!”

“Alex!”

“I’m here,” Arms wrapped around Alex’s back, their pace slowed down, Alex’s head on his shoulder, tears flowing hard as they pushed closer, Dani littered Alex’s head with kissed, “I promise I’ll never leave you again. I promise. I promise I promise I promise. I’m sorry.”

“Fuck. Dani…” Sliding his hand between them, fingers wrapping around Dani, Alex screamed, Dani’s name bouncing off the walls, _that_ sensation so intimate and missed, glad when he felt Dani follow him over the edge, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

“Dani,” Rolling onto his side, taking Dani with him, still linked, Alex wept softly, Dani joining him, the trials and tribulations to come forgotten for a while, being together the only thing that mattered.

 


End file.
